Are we scarred for life?  

First of all, congratulations for what you have gained so far! There are people who simply sink into the deepest to never come out again. As for your question, I think that some events in life mark us forever. But it is only our way of facing life and its problems what makes a permanent mark a painful scar or a "useful" one. By useful I mean that whenever something touches that scar (in your heart)it can provoke some good reaction (or action) on your part. People who were marked by being abandoned can find real company in helping others who suffered the same...women who have been raped can help other women in the same situation and find healing in the process...If the scar that you have is still painful, you might need some time yet or you might need to find something which can make this empty feeling diminish...The important thing is that you never give up, and keep on searching.

No we dont unfortunately.. Its a part of who we are today and what we DONT want to pass on to our Children. I know for a fact that when I see my Father, My very 1st thought is that I want him DEAD.. as evil as it sounds, Its true. But I wont let my Children see that in me. I have carried it from the day I knew the sort of man he really was. Its a heavy burden to carry my friend.. but its good to get it out in the open and have someone to talk about it with.. We learn from our past which what makes us stronger. I have far more than what my Father ever gave and will ever give me. Im here today, Alive, Successful and a Fabulous family and that kills him. Hes there in the back of my mind... and thats where he will stay.. Hes suffering in his own Morbid world and he knows why. I dont see him, I wont let my Children see him either, My brother's and sister's cant STAND him.. so he is pretty much alone. My Mum divorced him when I was 12 and it was the best thing she ever did. She is healthy and well and loving every bit of her life. Those are the moments where I think.. Im so grateful that she pulled us away from the Horror that could have killed us. Its her that changed our lives.. tho his memory lives on through us.

I not really same with u but I also got a father and a mother that love gambling.
All of the money they earn is used up with gmbling. Now, they 2 have divorce and only left me and my brother staying with my grandmother.
But i didnt feel anything happen to me beside of abit poor only. So i think i, u should try to be like me. Dont thing to much about scary or pity childhood u have already passed. See forward, try making alot of money and become a good father in the future.

I think that you are a stronger person than you realize. You broke the cycle did you not? You state that you are not drug addicted and you are not a raging alcholic...I say cudo's to you!!!!

My own father was raised in a household such as yours. At the age of 10 he told my grandfather that he was not to beat my grandmother anymore and that he would take her punishment instead.

My aunts said he had the tar beaten out of him and they were pretty much helpless to do anything about it in those days. Nothing like a women's shelter and things like that.

Well, I'll tell you what.... I have the best dad in the world. He became one of the dad's that you said you have seen in the park. He is also the most amazing grandfather to my children. He is kind, loving and caring and the love that he did not get as a child, he gets now 150%.

Maybe this little story can be just a glimpse into your own future.

I dont think if someone abuses you, no matter what age, it ever leaves you completely. I was in an adult abusive relationship, and I still am affected by it. I am stronger, but it never really goes away.

The life was the struggle, when frightened of living was better died, when frightened of dying should not live that was the saying from my teacher when I the school in East Java Indonesia, you had the will that was very hard until could leave slowly your problem and that was really great, I the salute to you continued your struggle.

I totally agree with you. I think what happens to us in your youth and forward into our teens really affects our lives. My parents are both alcoholics..and I think that affected my life...a lot. I drank and did drugs...in my youth too. I stopped everything when I got pregnant and then onward when I was raising my son. I hate a nervous break-down at one point and have dealt with anxiety and panic ever since..and an also in therapy. It is a life-long process..but it is possible to change and not be like your parents.

I think these things as youngsters really affect us for good but we can definitely still be mentally functional and stable and by the way congrats on all you've achieved! you should be very proud of yourself and Im sure when you have kids one day you will be a wonderful father to them

You will probably carry this with you for the rest of you life

I still think about something bad (which was not so bad) from when I was 5 years old and it has stayed with me untill now (well now I am .. my age).

well you will probably carry this memories for the rest of your life but you will eventually learn to deal with them and learn not to pass these anxieties to your children (when you have your own one day)