Etiquette?  

Thank you for your response, your children sound lovely. What actually surprises me most about young women grumbling when I hold a door open, is that whenever I pass through a door, and sense someone behind me, I hold the door, often unaware what their age or sexuality is, until they come into sight. My mother taught me that, and , to be frank, I think bugger the 'girl with a chip on her shoulder', I'm going to keep holding doors open, whether they thank me or not. I should say, that in my experience, most people aclnowledge my act with a smile, nod or thank you, it is a minority that act badly.
Congratulations on raising polite children, and I agree, good manners do not signify weakness, often it can take great strength to bite ones tongue, and behave decently. Thanks, once again, for your input, and good manners.

i wouldnt worry about someone else's insecurities. Your mom taught you right, have respect and manners, and go through with them. It bothers me when people dont do the niceties they know they can do. In case you havent heard it in a while, Thank you.

Thank you, too, for a lovely and supportive response. What amazes me most, is people seem to forget that politness costs nothing, just a little consideration.

I'm afraid that a misunderstanding of feminism by some young ladies today, has led to a resentment of anything that they perceive as patronising.
I shall continue to do what my Mum taught me, though, because she was right.
Thank you for response, it was greatly appreciated. All the best.

I think that there are also quite a few people in society who are highly suspicious of anyone who behaves well towards them without having any apparent reason. These people tend to have become very angry at the world, and had their perception of life worped by bad experiences. These people (classic example - Jade's mother on Big Brother) have their heckles up permanently, and don't understand common courtesy, as it's not a part of their world. They interpret it with suspicion and hostility, like the monkey-hangers of Hartlepool). I get the feeling that it's either feminism as you say, or that the people you encountered were like those I've just described. Either way, it's their problem, not yours.

Thanks for the input, though I do feel I ought to explain to the bulk of people using myLot that Hartlepool residents don't hang monkeys anymore. I would hate the poor town to be invaded by animal rights activists!
As I recall (and, to be fair Rochdale play Hartlepool at football, so the 'monkey-hangers' chant is never far from my thoughts), the residents of Hartlepool were confused during the Napoleonic Wars (circa 1810), by the arrival of a strange, gabbling monkey on board a ship, and taking the 'better safe than sorry' approach to national security, hung the monkey as a French spy! Who says Britain has no culture.
Thanks for the comment.

Sorry about that, it simply didn't load! For interest, it was a lovely colourful picture of 'Beat' Takeshi (aka Takeshi Kitano), a tremendous Japanese actor/director/painter/tv show host, and some friends, shooting up a hostelry with hand guns, and the suggestive by-line, 'Mr Kitano and his friends take poor service, very badly'. Sorry for its disappearance, circumstances beyond my control!

I have to say that as regards your question, I think it's disgusting that good manners (which are after all, all about consideration, and being sensitive to people's needs) are seen as something out of date, or even offensive by some people. Being considerate and nice is never something which should be thrown in your face. Please don't let the nastiness of a few (probably miserable if that's their attitude) people change your outlook or your manners. They had no reason to take offence, and were probably just being objectionable. There's no pleasing people like that, but that really is their problem, not yours. Keep up the good manners - I do, and I find people often seem surprised when I'm polite and hold a door open. I think the dearth of consideration and good manners comes from a lack of respect (for others and themselves) which a lot of people seem to suffer from. Perhaps your good manners will rub off on them - here's hoping!

I think you could well be right about the lack of good manners in society, and be sure, I shalln't allow the behaviour of others to drag me down to their level. Thanks for the comments, and the support.

I agree, I prefer to show respect from the off, and only change when it is beyond a doubt that the recipient wouldn't know good manners, if they bit them on the bum. I think everyone deserves respect, and should show it in return. I agree that this is something that parents should instil in their children, though society today, does leave some parents with little quality time to make such an impact on their kids. Thank you for your insight.

I don't know about a rant, what I read was an eloquent, intelligent and very well-argued series of points. I, really, don't know where to start in responding.
I think that with the UK, the rot set in during the 80s, when consumerism and greed were highly praised by the media, and seen as something to be attained, whereas I was repulsed. The Hippies may have smelt of Patchouli, never done a hard days work, and spawned a plague of guitar wielding troubadours on the world, but they were very polite! And, I spent my late teen years dressed like something from Louis court, at Versailles (a lovely, if gauche on the interior, building, that is well worth a visit for anyone passing north of Paris), and feel I should have much preferred to be there, than in Victorian England. Though, I believe European etiquette may have its roots in the chivalric code of conduct, so plagues and warring, but all done ever so politely!
Thank you for urging at least the use of basic good manners, which I support wholeheartedly. Good luck, and thanks for a magnificent response.

Thank you for the kind words! I enjoy participating in interesting discussions like this one. Keep 'em up!

I forgot to add to my first post that a lot of young people (at least here in the US) cast off etiquette because they do not understand what it means. They think etiquette is just knowing which fork to use and how to address the butler. They don't realize it deals with social interactions. Also, popular culture tends to favor those who are outrageous and obscene.

The world has always had its rebels; from the Marquis de Sade, to Johnny Rotten, yet has managed to survive, though I must agree, todays cultural icons don't seem to know what they're rebelling against, so it just becomes a mess for everyone.
Thanks for the further insight (I thanked someone for their 'inciteful' comments earlier today, proving even English teachers aren't beyond distraction - glad I got it right this time!).

And to polite gentlemen like yourself. Thank you for your response.

Thanks, I'll pause and think of those two phrases next time someone is impolite to me, or in front of me. Thanks.

I have to say that I believe 'political correctness' is simply a veil used by bigotted people to hide behind. If you have to recognise whether a person is male/female, black/white, disabled/not disabled in order to accord them the politically correct phraseology, then you are treating them differently already. I believe you should just treat everyone alike. I agree without exception that courtesy is a great approach to life, not just for others, but for yourself, too, and I will not be brought down to the level of rude people, by their rudeness.
My special lady has far more to worry about than my manners, and is a wonderfully tolerant woman (and she has to be, to have tolerated me for 7 years!), and despite myself, she does appreciate me.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, on this subject.

Thanks for your explanation of "po-co". I never understood it to well. Your statement makes sense and I agree.

Not at all, it is always a pleasure to share knowledge, opinion and experience with one another, that is how we grow.

Thank you, and it is very nice to hear someone compare good manners and etiquette with the phrase 'classy', and not in the crusty meaning of the word, but as a genuine compliment. I admire your view, and am very glad to hear you've found yourself a classy man, who knows how to treat you properly. My respect to both of you. Thanks.

So, whatever happened to people saying "excuse me" when they are passing in front of you? I say it all the time and I just get strange looks. When I move out of a person's way, and they don't say thank you, I still say you're welcome. I was brought up to respect others, to be polite. Don't talk with your mouth full, call people older than me by mr or mrs. I watched how my father treated my mother, always opening the door for her, pulling out her chair for her, offering his arm if she needed assistance. You never heard a cuss word in our house. We were polite then and we still are. People call me a prude or old fashioned because I expect them to be as polite as I am. I was raised to have manners and I appreciate that, I respect them for showing me the correct way to behave around others.

I don't believe that your behaviour is prudish, and, to me, old fashioned does not equal out-of-date, after all we discovered the wheel 4,000 years ago, and it's still as useful today as it has ever been! I agree that making room for someone to pass by is also a common courtesy, and good etiquette and manners cover a wide range of behaviour, but the common thread is simply the consideration of others, and fitting your behaviour to the situation. Thank you for responding, and for showing decency and respect to others.

You owe me no apology, those women are not a poor reflection on ladies, just on themselves. May I thank you for re-acquainting me with a phrase my Mother used to use, 'heck in a handbasket', it is a beautifully characterful and colourful phrase, and made me smile fondly.
I hope that many of the youths who seem to be all bad manners and rebellion will mellow with age. When I was young, I was grumpy at times, and wanted to reject a lot of the things around me. I think many of them use this form of bravado to hide their real feelings, it can be a very confusing age, where you just want to follow your friends example, and not stand out.
I think chivalry shall never die out completely, it has so much good within it, that new generations will always re-discover it. Thank you very much for taking the time to reassure me that there are still people with decency at their heart, and I wish you all the best.