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How would you handle a racist parent if you were having a mixed child?  email this discussion to a friend?

myLot reputation of 89/100. everybodylovesleah (161)   ranked 1,179 out of 9,015 in parenting 6 years ago

This is the dilemma my friend is in. She is white, her guy is black. She is actually in labor TODAY!!!! When she called her mom from the hospital this morning, her mom spoke her out for waking her up. She is very angry her daughter is having a mixed child. She is at the point she barely wants to speak to her mom because her mother has said some very hurtful things. For example, when she first found out she was expecting, her mother told her she hopes she will lose the baby. I told her that her mother will come around but this is putting a serious rift in their relationship.

What would you do in this situation?

 

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tags:  baby, friends
 
1. myLot reputation of 97/100. Sissygrl (5760)   ranked 15 out of 9,015 in parenting   6 years ago

I would leave my mom alone and go to others for support like the guys parents for the time being. after the baby is born be sure to send the racist mom pictures of the baby. HOW CAN YOU DENY any baby? little own your blood? maybe once she sees her grandbaby she will apoligize and realize that skin color doesn't matter at all. all that matters is that the love for that her daughter and that baby is unconditional. And she might even regret not being there for her daughter when she needed her.


myLot reputation of 89/100. everybodylovesleah (161)   ranked 1,179 out of 9,015 in parenting  6 years ago

This remind me, her mom was pissed because she wasn't invited to the baby shower, but her guys family was all invited and came. She said it was epcifically because she thought her mom would say something stupid and offesnsive. She probably saved her mom from getting herself in a bad situation with her guys family.


myLot reputation of 89/100. everybodylovesleah (161)   ranked 1,179 out of 9,015 in parenting  6 years ago

I meant specifically...I really should use the preview comment feature.


myLot reputation of 97/100. Sissygrl (5760)   ranked 15 out of 9,015 in parenting  6 years ago

yea one woman dissin an entire family Right in front of them wouldn't have gone over too well i'm guessing. that was probably a really good idea not to invite her.

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2. myLot reputation of 98/100. embattledsparkle (943)   ranked 1,697 out of 9,015 in parenting   6 years ago

Wow... That is really tough. I have 3 mixed children, though I'm no longer with my ex. No one in my family said any racist comments to me. On my dad's side of the family, I'm sure they made some behind my back because most of them are white trash, and since they're related to me, I can say that freely. I don't have a relationship with that side though. The most I've heard from them lately was "Do they even have the same dad?" Which yes they do, but they didn't even come to me to ask me that, my Mom heard it and was the one who answered it. Anyway, getting off track.

I know that she probably wants her Mom with her but if her Mom is saying stuff like that, I think she should not bother calling her Mom right now. If the guys family is nice and accepts the situation, then try to get help from them, emotional or otherwise. Your friend will have a full plate with raising a newborn and doesn't need the extra stress of her mother saying crap like that. Now hopefully her Mom will realize she's being over the top and accept her daughter, her daughters choices, and her new grandchild as they are.

It's a hard situation overall... our family should love us, regardless of what choices they make. Plus if her Mom is being a racist parents, who knows if she'd ever say anything to the child about them being mixed later on? It could turn out being that your friend and the child will be better off without the Mom...though it would be painful.

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3. myLot reputation of 98/100. maximax8 (17670)   ranked 463 out of 9,015 in parenting   9 months ago

These racist sentences are horrible and I feel very sorry for your friend. I think that mixed race skin looks beautiful. I hope that your friend's labor went well and she has a delightful child now. I wonder how your friend's mom is now to her daughter and her grandchild.

One of my friends is a white man and next month he will be marrying a black lady. She is a lovely lady and so I think he is a lucky man to have her. If they have children they will be mixed race and that is fine. They live in London which is a multicultural city. I know the family members are okay about them being together.

If I was in that situation I would hope my mom would come round to the idea of the mixed race baby.

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