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A dog's pet peeves...  email this discussion to a friend?

myLot reputation of 87/100. EdwardF (411) 6 years ago

1) Blaming your farts on me. Not funny...not funny at all.
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2) Yelling at me for barking. For God's sake, I'm a dog!
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3) Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check things out. Just whose walk is this anyway?
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4) Any tricks that involves food on my nose. Stop it.
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5) Yelling at me for rubbing my bum on the carpet. Why did you buy carpet?
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6) Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered the firm hand shake yet.
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7) How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we all know the truth, you're just jealous.
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8) Dog sweaters...HELLO! Haven't you noticed fur?
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9) When you pick up poop in the yard. Do you realize how far this puts us behind?
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10) Taking me to the vet for "the big snip," then acting surprised when we freak out when we go back.
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11) The ole fake, fetch and throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

 

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sweetrala (1247) response was accepted on 1/22/2007.
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tags:  dog, joke
 
1. myLot reputation of 96/100. sweetrala (1247)   6 years ago

Thsi is funny!LOL...Thanks for letting me know what my dogs really think of me.

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2. myLot reputation of 89/100. hockeygal4ever (5360)   6 years ago

Somehow I think these are true! LOL

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3. myLot reputation of 89/100. amazing_Grace (324)   6 years ago

This is hilarious! What a great joke. Thanks for posting it. It really made my day.

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4. myLot reputation of 77/100. huanghaozi (1312)   5 years ago

Terminal Irish Man


An Irishman named Murphy went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Murphy in the eye and said, "I've got some bad news for you...you have the cancer and it can't be cured. I'd give you two weeks to a month." Murphy, shocked and saddened by the news, but of solid character, managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor's office into the waiting room.

There he saw his son who had been waiting. Murphy said, "Son, we Irish celebrate when things are good and celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't so well. I have cancer and I've been given a short time to live. Let's head for the pub and have a few pints."

After three or four pints the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more beers. They were eventually approached by some of Murphy's old friends who asked what the two were celebrating. Murphy told them that the Irish celebrate the good and the bad...He went on to tell them that they were drinking to his impending end. He told his friends "I've only got a few weeks to live as I have been diagnosed with AIDS." The friends gave Murphy their condolences and they had a couple more beers.

After his friends left, Murphy's son leaned over and whispered his confusion, "Dad I thought you said that you were dying from cancer? You just told your friends that you were dying from AIDS?" Murphy said, "I am dying from cancer son, I just don't want any of them sleeping with your mother."

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