Dowry still prevelant in India.

As you can see, the dowry system was something originally honorable in intention and provided for the independent wealth of the bride in a time when she was unlikely to work outside of the home. Like many customs and traditions, time can alter their original meaning and purpose. While the dowry system is still in place, it has become more of a "bride-price" system. The parents of a baby girl must come up with a respectable dowry (the term respectable is arbitrary, respectable dowry can be anything from $50 worth of material goods to $50,000 or more worth of material goods depending on the family's standing in society). If a good dowry is not made, the girl is unlikely to have a "good" match. This again, is mostly arbitrary. A good match for a very poor family might be marriage of their daughter into a slightly better financed family or a good match for a middle income family might be finding a husband that is a doctor or engineer. As you have probably guessed, there are very few brides who actually retain their dowry after marriage. In the most honorable of families the bride is allowed to keep certain items for her own use such as the bed and cooking pots she is suppose to bring with her and some of the jewelry. She is also allowed control over how the rest of the dowry is kept, spent etc. This situation is a very modern one and in place in very educated households.

Thats sad to hear that your friend has to break the engagement, but i am glad that she did. You are right, someone who can't show understanding in the begining can not be expected to act wise later in the life. So betternot to get into a relation whose base itself is weak. If the in-law are showing such an attitude in the very begining, one can only expect the things to worsen from there. I think your friend made the correct decision. As for the dowary, you might be surprised to know that indian mentality sees it as more of a cult than liability. I was shocked to hear the kind of spendings that people do on their family marriages. Sadly, it has become a fashion, a show off extravagenza or a status symbol for people. I knew a case where one of my friend refused to take any dowary but surpringly, her in laws insisted him to take the dowary saying 'please accept it or else , people will say that we didnt gave anything to our daughter !' ... Sigh... such mentality... The issue is quite complex and has many facets to it. Very hard to look it in a single dimention. Sad but true ... I am sure your friend will find a much better partner. Take Care :)

yes dowry is still present in india nowadays, as a friend of mine told me that. your friend is right of getting -off that marriage, as the foundation of it is money,and money is all they think about. for me, i do no want to have inlaws that are greedy, pardon my words, but that is what i feel. goodluck and happy days here in mylot...

yes unfortunately dowry is still prevelant in india. god knows when would people stop selling their sons and daughters? its such a shamefull act! people pay in lakhs and crores to get a good match. the people who take as well as who gives dowry are equally bad! we should not encourage it.

I agree that your friend did the right thing. I don't like the idea that families decide who marries with who at 12 or 14 years old, not letting the own people to decide by themselves....the dowry institution is a good catalyst for this because since it means so much money in a poor country like india, families look for a husband or wife for their kids depending on the money they can make with the dowry. From a moral point of view i consider it a shame, even though I respect those who think differentwise.

if INDIA develops should the attitudes be high. remember one thing at present we are thinking development in terms of greed to conqour our senses by earning money. USA Despite its economical power, killing millions of innocents in the name of war against a few thousands of millitants. Anyhow, it was great to take a step back from the marriage.