You might be a maritimer IF :  | | | |  1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to
pass a tractor on the highway.
2."Vacation" means going to Moncton for the weekend.
3. You measure distance in hours.
4.You know several people who have hit a deer.
5. You often switchfrom "Heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
6. You use a down filled comforter in the summer.
7. Your Grandparents drive 100 kmthrough 13 feet of snow during raging blizzard without flinching.
8. You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.
9.You install security lights on both your house and garage and goand leave both unlocked.
10. You think of the major food groups as: Meat, Fish and Tim Hortons.
11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them.
12. There are seven empty cars running in the parking lot of the Canadian Tirestore at any given time.
13. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
14. Driving is better in thewinter because the potholes are filled with snow.
15. Your lingerie consists of tube socks and flannel pajamas. 16. You knowall 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter andConstruction.
17. It takes three hours to go to the store for one item, even when you're in a hurry because you have to stop and
talk to everybody in town.
And Finally: You know you live inthe Maritimes when...
18. You actually understand these jokes and
forward them to all your friends from the Maritimes.
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| 1.  hobohobo (520)
|
5 years ago
| |  A cowboy walks into a Saloon after he rode 150 miles on his horse in one day. He had a drink about two weeks ago, but he had himself a lady about two months ago.
He enters the saloon sits down and orders a whiskey. He sees that he is the only one in the bar except for the bartender. "Sorry, barkeep, tell me, you got any gals around here?", the cowboy asks "No sir, 'Round here is only you, me, and 'Ol George, there atta back," the barkeep replies as he shows in the direction of the toilet with his head.
"No," shouts the cowboy, "I ain't that kindda guy."
So the cowboy just sits and orders another whiskey. After he had about half a bottle he asks the barkeep the same question as earlier. He gets the same answer:
"No sir, Round here is only you, me, and 'Ol George, there atta back. Again the cowboy says, "No way I ain't that kindda guy." So he just drinks and drinks.
The more he drinks the hornier he gets. After he had about two bottles of whiskey he askes the barkeep the same question and gets the same answer. But he is so horny by now that he decides 'Ol George there atta back will have to do, but he doesn't want anybody to know that he did 'Ol George there atta back.
So he asks the barkeep: "If I do 'Ol George there atta back, who's gonna know about it?" The barkeep answers: "Well, sir It will be me, you, 'Ol George there atta back, and the four guys holding him down, 'cause he ain't that kindda guy either!"
| | | | | | | | | | Humor at Work Hire a professional speaker Kathleen Passanisi www.kathleenpassanisi.com | add comment | | | |
| | | | | | costume jewelry All costume jewelry jewelry, start at $1 100's of items closing now www.Bidz.com/costume_jewelry | add comment | | | |
| | | | | | Alberta Ski Vacations Experience World-Class Runs and Hotels From $258 per Person. remembertobreathe.com | add comment | | | |
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