What's wrong with my Vacuum-Cleaner

Has this ever happened to you?
Today I wanted to get a " jump " on my spring -cleaning. So I pulled my Vacuum out of the closet, where I parked it yesterday. When I went to turn it on...it started Barfing out clouds of Dust! ( Aggh!!! ) So in my infinate wisdom I figured it needed a new Hepa-Filter. I went to the store and purchased an expensive Filter
( $27.00) ( Aggh!!!) I cleaned the Canister, prior to putting in My $27.00 Filter
and to my dismay...It continued spewing. ( Aggh!!) Naturally I figured there had to be a mechanical Failure some where ( I was just hoping that it didn't involve the Motor ) So I took the floor- Face Plate off, to unveil about 4-feet of hair Bound around the Belt-Drive. ( Fascinating....I don't remember running over that )
I was so proud of that...I put the Machine together, plugged it in and ....Voila...
More Spewing...At this point I'm starting to get a " tad " miffed. I completely disassembled the entire Unit ( Except that Motor ) and to my astonishment...there in the On - Board hose attachment....Was a clog about the size of a small woodland creature. ( aaack!!!) Needless to say the situation was remedied, and my Filter works wonderfully. Tell me your Vacuum-Cleaner Adventures.