How do you know when you are an Alcoholic?

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I've noticed one of my girlfriends uses alcohol as Prozac. I've known her for at least a dozen years, never seen her drunk. Her son died about 4 years ago and it seems that she is self-medicating with alcohol. Here's the twist - she's highly functional. She's an artist, she has her own house, she's single and takes care of her mom. She's very attractive but I know she can get really down about still being single - it's been 17 years since her divorce and she's 53 now. I've worked in rehab, I've seen people lose their health, their families, their jobs - everything. I realize that every one has a different "bottom" to hit, but she's not showing the typical symptoms. Maybe she has a higher tolerance level than the average woman her size and age. She admitted to me that she goes through at least 2 fifths of brandy every week. She starts with a shot of brandy or Bailey's in her morning coffee and goes on all day. She says it keeps her sane. How much is too much? And how do you intervene when, on the surface, everything is fine?