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How to know you're a redneck.....  email this discussion to a friend?

myLot reputation of 99/100. Katlady2 (4477)   ranked 1 out of 533 in sharing jokes 5 years ago

This was sent to me this morning, and I couldn't resist posting it! (Not that I tried all that hard to resist. LOL)


Yes, the new one is out! Brand new edition of...

You know you're a redneck when....


1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think "The Nutcracker" is a vice on the work bench .
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-room's so clean ?
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it

22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on
the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non -working

26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of
improvements.
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

 

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matlgal (811) response was accepted on 6/5/2007.
denotes best response, click it to go to the best response.
tags:  gabs, humor, jokes, redneck, funny
 
1. myLot reputation of 99/100. matlgal (811)   5 years ago

LOL ROFL Kat- Those are so cute. I am still chuckling over the original ones. Jeff Foxworthy has made a whole bunch of MOney being our favorite Redneck! GOtta love him!. It's a household word now.

Thanks for sharing those I have to print them out and share with the girls!

Thanks'


myLot reputation of 99/100. Katlady2 (4477)   ranked 1 out of 533 in sharing jokes  5 years ago

Thanks. I love Jeff Foxworthy. He is absolutely hilarious.

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2. myLot reputation of 95/100. gabs8513 (23375)   5 years ago

Wow Kat, well none of them go for me yet so I guess I am safe then? Now if it would have had on there slipping on a stone Floor because you where stupid to walk on it with Socks then I would have worried lol.
Good one


myLot reputation of 99/100. Katlady2 (4477)   ranked 1 out of 533 in sharing jokes  5 years ago

ROFL! Gabs, I love your sense of humor! Thanks hon.

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3. myLot reputation of 89/100. mshogrider67 (513)   ranked 100 out of 533 in sharing jokes   5 years ago

Thanks so much for sharing, Where we live everyone is called a redneck asnd a lot of thm actually fit several of the ways LOL


myLot reputation of 99/100. Katlady2 (4477)   ranked 1 out of 533 in sharing jokes  5 years ago

LOL. The people around here might not call themselves rednecks, but if you go by that list, the shoes fit them quite well! Thanks.

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4. myLot reputation of 82/100. maddy37 (4288)   5 years ago

Q. How do you make a bandstand?

A. Take away their chairs!

Q. Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab?

A. The scientists were brainstorming!

Q. Why did Tony go out with a prune?

A. Because he couldn't find a date!


myLot reputation of 99/100. Katlady2 (4477)   ranked 1 out of 533 in sharing jokes  5 years ago

Where do you get all of those wonderful jokes? I just love them. Thanks again for the giggles.

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5. myLot reputation of 98/100. CatEyes (1897)   ranked 38 out of 533 in sharing jokes   5 years ago

Too cute. Too true. I know a couple who fit it to a tee.


myLot reputation of 99/100. Katlady2 (4477)   ranked 1 out of 533 in sharing jokes  5 years ago

Same here. LOL

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6. myLot reputation of 69/100. simran1430 (1587)   ranked 163 out of 533 in sharing jokes   5 years ago

An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" He answered, "No."

The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the last one, was "Why?" The applicant answered it anyway: "Never got caught."


myLot reputation of 99/100. Katlady2 (4477)   ranked 1 out of 533 in sharing jokes  5 years ago

Good one! Thanks.

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7. myLot reputation of 91/100. joanana (451)   ranked 4 out of 533 in sharing jokes   5 years ago

Um, a couple of those I do or some neighbors do. hehehe, maybe I shouldn't admit that! lol


myLot reputation of 99/100. Katlady2 (4477)   ranked 1 out of 533 in sharing jokes  5 years ago

Well at least you didn't specify which ones you do! LOL

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8. myLot reputation of 96/100. aprilgrl (3924)   ranked 123 out of 533 in sharing jokes   5 years ago

LOL..that's funny.


myLot reputation of 99/100. Katlady2 (4477)   ranked 1 out of 533 in sharing jokes  5 years ago

Glad you liked it. Thanks for the response.

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