A baby to save a marriage is a good idea???  

A baby is a bad idea for a marriage that is falling apart. All that would do is add to the stress of the relationship. I think that she should try to work on the marriage first, and if that works out, then try for a baby. I think that you did the right thing by telling her that it wasn't a good idea.

I don't think it is ever a good idea. Unless she is willing & ready to become a single parent. I would get counciling first if she wants to stay married with a baby. I think a bad marriage will over all be undermore stress with a baby. There is the off chance that a baby could bring them closer though I guess. I don't think i would be willing to take that risk though.

A baby is suppose to be a product of love. Hence, since their marriage is already falling apart, I don't think it what they are planning is the best way to resolve their marriage. It will probably just worsen things out. It might be able to help, but what if it won't? The baby is already there and would be affected with the situation.


So better not. Remember, it's always a wonderful feeling that you bear fruit with someone you really really love the most. :)

I don't understand why so many couples feel that having a child will make things better? Maybe it's because society shows them that having a baby makes people happy? That is hardly the reality (unless of course, you consider the giddiness one feels from all the lack of sleep in the first few months ;) ).

I have a friend who separated from her husband this past summer... and she too, considered the idea of having a baby to "make it better" before leaving. Thankfully, she was talked out of it.

Good for you for suggesting to your friend to NOT go the child route to save her marriage. That really will only complicate matters. There are so many couples that have children when things are great, and the child puts major stressors on their relationship, and even THEY have a hard time getting things back on course.

The birth of a child is both the most wonderful thing for a couple, and the most stressful thing. A child will test a marriage in ways not much else can. Does she really want to do this to save her marriage or does she just want a child? A child might pull them together, but probably not. The best idea is to deal with the issues first and then think about it.

What a horrible responsibility to put on a baby, to expect him or her to save a failing marriage. Pregnancy and actually bringing a chid into the family will ADD stress to the relationship, and a relationship that is already strained is going to get worse, not better, in my opinion. I would agree that the couple needs to get some counseling and solve their problems, if they can, before they even THINK about adding a child to the mix. Having a child will tie them to each other forever, whether the marriage survives or not....just something else for them to consider.

every couple wanted to have a kid of their own. i guess that is one of the reason why each of us want to get married. a child is needed to have what we call "family" and in a way it will help to take the marriage intact as it is the only connection the two people have and no other. if they think that the reason why their marriage is falling apart because they dont have a baby then i guess they should take that as a consideration. BUT your friend should think first that this is the reason and no other. coz having a baby is really a huge responsibility to both couple and it needs a constant planning and taken cared of. i just hope your friend will resolve her problem as i really felt sad to know that another broken marriage had happen.

I have found also years does in the situation of your friend and personally, the arrival of little Giuly resolved a lot of problems.A son is a common route...cause of pride...one experience that can help a couple to grow, to ripen and in may case,to find it self.
@Max@

to have a baby is a not such a good idea because after having the baby these problems will increase and if the relation breaks up then she will have to bring up the abby without its father. tell ur friend to try her best to have a with him and understand what is in his mind and what is disturbing him if she can solve the issue by that way then its much easier rather than breakign apart

It depends on why the marriage falls apart. If the relationship falls apart because both parties are drifting apart because of boring marriage life and differing interest, a child is the catalyst. Both parties have something in common and will work towards caring for the baby. The relationship might improve too.

However, if a child is decided just to "keep" the partner when getting out is the obvious choice, I would say it is not a wise choice.