I've lost myself !!!  

You've made a good first & second step by admitting there is a problem, and doing something about it. If you are not bold enough to make a move on your own, get yourself to a professional counselor. This man is a danger not only to you, but to your children as well. Get out before it is too late.

I know exactly how you feel. I am also an independent woman that is used to doing things on her own. I was in a relationship for 5years with a guy that I thought was a saving grace. It started off wonderfully but ended up badly. He was overly controlling and very manipulative. The reason it took me so long to leave was that I had become complacent with the relationship and did not want to be alone. Sometimes we just have to take a chance and do what is best for us. You'll be so much better without him. You are still the same independent woman that you used to be and you deserve better.

My first marriage was difficult and even this one had a pissy mode..but whatI do when he gets pissy is just stsay away and when he calms down I go to him.I never argue back and he loves me too much because with I being calm..His pissy mode is getting less and less and less..We do talk about it though and HE WANTS to improve ..this is important. Do you talk about this with your beloved? Have you sat down with him and told him that you cannot go on like this? Tell him you don't want to leave and you want to make this work but you both have to work out a formula to decrease his pissy mode. Talk to him with kindness that you want to respect him and not fear him. Love = respect not fear..See if this helps..I know every individual case is different I really hope you can both work things out. I will pray for you..Try talking with himbefore deciding to leave..maybe there still is a chance to save this..

i am so sorry to hear this, you must to have currage, and accept that you really have a big proble,,...first, never, but never a man can beat a woman, clear?never, and woman must don t stay with a man who beat she..i was married few years ago, and i am divorce now, but not for this reasons, like beating...for others, but i think with alll my power that nowbady can t beat other person, man or woman,who make this, is not man , is not hman....but i think you are from America, right?and tehre are a lot of peoples who can help you, is a big country, with big oportunity...with low for family protection...try, and my advice, is don t stay with him , this is not life, is hell

oh honey i am so sorry to hear this. but you are a strong woman. don't forget who you are. you can do anything you want to do. and you must not live in fear! fear is kills more people then any thing else in the whole world. fear will keep you where you are, fear will not allow you to move on. You are better then you are allowing yourself to be treated. You are a strong, powerful, loving, whole, perfect, grateful person. know that, feel that, see that, and get out.

Oh hon I have lived this life and i know how difficult is it to get out under from.Your right it seems everything that was you is gone.but it isn;t hon its there under the hurt and resentment..do you want your children to see there mom has a broken down woman being spoken to in a manner you would never want them treated of course not..I know the task of leaving seems impossible.I once went to a womens help center and they told me a woman in a similar situation to yours and once mine take 4 years from the day she decides she must leave to leaving..i thought sure lady your crazy but turns out she was right by me anyway..i'm not saying there are not women or men that have left sooner.for me i went and sought out self help groups and with friends that i met there got stronger found way that i knew i was going to be OK when i left..finally i was strong enough to leave.it is amazing to be how many times i was scared to leave because of money and it just seemed to work itself out and i know one thing being a little poor for a little while was so worth my self respect..I'm not sure this small note of empathy will help at all just know you have someone that has been there and survived and is here should you ever need to talk...trust in yourself that strong woman is still there!!!
Cheryl

I also have the puzzle, but I am not yet married. when I was myself i feel so free, I can paint, I can write something i like, I can travel my favourite place. but when I have a gf, everything changed. I felt caged. I doubt whether I will so forever.

To hell with him. Leave him and leave him now. If you tolerate verbal abuse pretty soon you will find yourself tolerating physical abuse. Whatever happens after you leave him is unknown but it's better to face the unknown than to spend the rest of your life suffering from the well-known.

There is no reason in this world why anyone has to put up with that. You are a valuable person and you have a wonderful purpose on this earth. If that wasn't true then God would have never made you. You have wonderful children who need their mother to be upbeat and positive and to show them how to live their lives. If you continue to stay in a relationship that makes you feel this way then what are you teaching your children? You are worth all the gold in the world to that special someone, you need to find them and don't stay with someone who treats you like crap.

you should find yourslef by your own hands