Big sisters with little sisters? UNITE!
By Bee1955
@Bee1955 (3882)
United States
March 29, 2007 2:49am CST
My sister was the middle child and always suffered from the "middle child syndrome". She was jealous of the last sibling because she feels cheated when according to her, too much attention has always been given to him, then she's jealous of the first for always getting or doing new things first and she gets the hand me downs or cant come along. Fighting, backbiting, nit picking, stealing, tattling, brown nosing, name calling, false accusations -- she's done them all ... up until her too-early death from heart disease at age 45, 2 years after our parents. My brother and I always believed all that angst just killed her.
My brother and I went along and suffered with most of her whims, but until our parents died in the 1980s, we had no peace from her jealousies! Now we loved her very much, but you couldnt do anything for her without a scene developing - even at Chrismas and on her birthday!
This lasted all her life. She alienated herself from her nieces and nephews who always wanted to see her and love her, she hardly visited us unless our parents planned to and she came along with them.
He had 3 kids, I had one and was a lready a grandmother, and she didnt (as if we had control over that!), I paid for and finished college on my own, she dropped out of college while my parents paid for everything, I got promotions and awards, she supposedly was slighted for her ideas. Throughout her life she was miserable everytime our parents gave her some news about either of us. We were thankful we lived in different states!
Bless their souls, our parents tried hard to make her happy (and us), but the childhood trama she developed never left her. Later my mother lamented she should have taken her to therapy when she was young, but thought she would 'grow out of it'(a school counselor strongly recommended therapy, but my mother refused, thinking the new, suspicious position of "school psychologist" in the 1960s was just trying to get money out of my parents. I wished my sister did get some outside help on her own. Even when she finished her LPN degree at age 38, at her party in a restaurant that my brother and I sponsored and paid for, she stood up in front of 50 friends and relatives and announced how nice it was for her to finally be appreciated in our family. My parents suffered in silence, my brother was extremely angry but was kept in line by my foot on top of his hard, and I was mortified. You could have heard the crickets from outside the door! Then some band music started and changed the mood.
If you have a middle child or younger sister and s/he is acting too jealous, too possessive, and too clingy to there parents. Doesnt like changes in her life and of her siblings, cries and whines everytime something good happens to her other sibs and spoils the attention given them ... then its time for them to go into some type of therapy no matter how young they start it. Encourage them if they are older and try hard to convince them how much they are loved.
They just dont 'grow out of it'. It'll hopefully save everyone's nerves (and hearts) later.
1 person likes this
2 responses
@acquaria (719)
• Italy
30 Mar 07
In some parts of your discussion i've seen my 2 little sisters.Now they both have adavantegs because i've fight with my parents when I was a teenager to have more liberty.so now for a lot of things they have the street esplanande but however they lament.As you i've paid by myself mys tudies,my holidays,my clothes while my sisters until now ask to my mother moneyes...
1 person likes this
@MGjhaud (23228)
• Philippines
29 Mar 07
i only have one sister and we always communicate each other though she's away fro me now. before i used to live with her downtown because my parents house is far from the city so i transfered to her house. she's very supportive and cool. she rocks. =) there's no gap in between because we know how to deal with each other's weaknesses. we love each other's much.;)
1 person likes this



