Do you ever find you have selected hearing?

I have realised that I do have selective hearing.Its like I shut down everything else, I will be in my own world, busy thinking about what to do next or tomorrow's program. The moment I assume what the person is saying or mean, i will not listen anymore. I am actually struggling with it, I don't like it at all because now it affects my communication with my children and family. They always tell me that I forget things but the truth is I don't forget, unconsciously i choose not to listen. I think it was caused by the fact that I grew up being shouted at, so the only way to protect being hurt was just not listen. Right now I can watch a movie with a loud background noise and not even hear a thing. If someone talks to me and continues talking and talking, without giving me time to talk or air my views, they will be talking to themselves. For conference or meetings - if I do not write down then I will only remember half of it. I will start to think about how should I answer them, or I know the answer, you must do this..... All this is in my brain yet the person is still talking. I don't even know how to deal with this now???????? I want to be a good communicator but my mind is so occupied that it just cannot listen anymore without thinking.