How do you remain a true friend to someone with a chronic illness?

actually he's not only my friend..he's my boyfriend.. currently undergoing chemotheraphy.. but the problem is his family hiding him from me..or he's the one hiding... our communications stop when he started his chemo and when his family found out that we have such communications..his family change his contact number.. what will i do if i want to be with my man although he's ill but they are hiding him from me?

ANYWAY WELCOME TO MYLOT

well i have both situations going on for me right now..myself i am disabled andhave degenerative disc disease,arthristis..and a very bad back..and i have a best friend that just went threw brain surgery for a huge tumor they found in her head..and she has been fighting to live and heal ...so we understand each other..and we have the bets friendship anyone could have and we are constantly there for each other for empathy,sympathy,and encouragement threw what we have been going thrrew,,

At this point in their life your friend really needs you, but they also need you to understand that yes they are tired alot more often and no they won't be able to do things they used to do. A true friend is the one that will come over and wash your hair after you've laid in bed for two days. When my brother and father went through cemo we were there to clean up and help around the house. Friends would send cards to let them know they were thinking of them. Sometimes when you're sick you don't want people around you, but you do want to know that they care.

I am disabled with Multiple Sclerosis. My sisster is my best friend. She is always letting me know that she is there for me through thick and thin. Whether it be an email or a phone call, she lets me know with just a few words. It doesn't matter what the words are, just so they are consistant. It keeps me going.

Be there for your friends when they need you. Let them know that you are available to them when they need support, and apart from that just carry on as normal.

I have had a few friends with chronic illness over the years, and I've found that the best way to maintain the friendship is to simply be their friend. I make allowances in soem ways - obviously we do things that are easy for them to do, we take care not to do really exhusting things, but generally I just treat them like any other friend.

However, they know that if they want to they can contact me for the 'illness stuff' as one of my friends calls it.

I lost one of my friends to cancer this last week - the main change that we noticed in our friendship as his illness worsened was that when we went for a beer we went to a bar closer to his home than mine.:-)

Just be there for them - that's all that you need to do. Just be their friend - don't treat them like they're made of glass.

When I was 16, my best friend was diagnosed with Cancer. It was in her spine and it finally took her life when she was just 21. I would always visit her 3 or 4 times a week in the hospital and take her chocolate custard as theis was all she could eat with the treatment she was having. Sadly she shut all of her friends out which really upset me. I would always ring her parents and they would keep me up to date. Her parents would always tell me thats its nothing that I had ever done wrong, it was just the fact that she was like this with everyone. Everyone including her parents thought that she was doing ok. I was so shocked when her Dad rang me and told me that she had passed away. It still hurts so much that I never got the chance to see her for 4 months before she passed and especially that I never got to say goodbye. I still think of her most days and will always miss our good times.

I am disabled also, with degenerative disc disease, degenerative joint disease, respiratory insufficency.. sometimes I require my oxygen. Supposed to have it on at night, but don't always. Since I have been unable to work and get around like I used to, I no longer have the same friends that I used to. I still have a few friends that I see once in a great while, but mostly I am all by myself. My friends call on me if they need me to babysit or something, but not just to be there for no reason.

I've had knew replacement surgeries, I am better, but still have a lot of pain, so I cannot hold out for long. I think I would like my friends to value me as much as when I could get up and do more. It is their falling away that I notice most... and I just seem to disappear.

I'm accustomed to that now, and it doesn't bother me. I have my family and I'm not alone. It was really rough when I was living alone and I had no one to ever see me. I could go months and no one would come to my home, and I lived right under one of my friends in her basement, and next door to another friend.. and I just notice the difference sometimes.

I pay them visits. We can have good talk about the past and the adventures we have had. I bring some food items which we can cook while conversing. When it is time for her to have her rest, I do some light massages from the head down to the feet. Then I say my goodbyes. If she asks me to come back on a date which could be the birthday of a loved one, I try my best to be around.

actually that situation has neither arrived to me nor to my friends so i am just not knowing how to deal with that situation and we just don't now what to do

I have friends with problems and I also have chronic illness so I know how this is. As someone who has chronic pain and problems it can be very frustrating to make plans and then find out you just can't do them, you wake up in a lot of pain or what have you. I know for myself it can be very depressing to try and do something and then find out nope not able to. Let alone if you also let someone else down because of it.

I would suggest just keeping things simple. If you want to do something together make it simple. Something you know they can do. For example visiting at their house and maybe watching a movie or going to a restaurant for coffee. It's little things that make people feel special. The fact that you are willing to stay friends, to make adjustments, to be understanding and supportive means more to them then you might realize.