Do Schools Expect Too Much From Their Students?  

This is exactly my point -- it becomes "blame the student" instead of "fix the system."

I assume you mean these classes (chorus/drama and academic alike) are trying to "prepare" her for college by burying her in work that's nearly impossible to complete on time. It's nonsense -- of course college classes excuse you from work. College is such a different environment than high school, this notion of "preparation" is just silly.

Let's talk about your suggestion for a moment -- cutting a few things back. By the time a student actually learns what these extracurricular activities involve, it's far too late in the semester to just "quit" without having a serious impact on the student's GPA.

This stuff *isn't* affecting her grades right now. She *does* all the work and she does all the assignments.

She's also *dead* once she gets home and has *zero* free time for anything at all. Did you somehow miss the "13 hours per day at school" bit? Do you honestly think that's acceptable?

You've also used a "slippery slope" logical fallacy that illustrates my other point perfectly: if a teacher made an exception for one chorus student, every student would naturally try out for chorus/drama to get out of doing the work. Wrong.

First, there's very limited space in each of the chorus and drama clubs. A handful of students make it; a pile of them do not. Second, it's not as if this is some "new-fangled" thing -- the school has had these programs for years and you'd think the participants in the program and in the school system would have adjusted things by now to avoid the kind of burnout they're pushing these kids into.

Finally, no one's asking for "excuse" from doing work. I'm suggesting that perhaps the students who (in doing exactly what their *school* suggests/recommends for them) get snagged for up to *thirty hours a week* outside of class by these programs get *something* in return for it.

How about another day or two to get homework finished without an automatic fail? How about a bit of cash from working so much on the play, to turn it into what you think's already happening: right now this is an opportunity for her to see what it's like to be a bloody slave whilst in school. Remember, she's not making a dime here, and if any accolades are bestowed for the performance coming up, she doesn't win them -- the school does.

This particular situation doesn't happen *anywhere* else in our world. College is an entirely different ballgame -- you don't (generally) attend the same class every single day; it's every other day (M-W-F, or T-Th, etc.). Attendance is rarely (if ever) taken, so at worst if you need time off to finish something up, you can skip a class mid-week (where nothing important is scheduled) with no real harm done. You can simply ask the next time you're in class to find out what you missed and catch up as needed.

Your comment that this is more a problem with the drama/chorus club rings true (I'll rant about that in a minute :), but something still bugs me about the other teachers. No, they don't *have* to "excuse" things, but it's within their power to do so. It's not just a matter of expecting work to be turned in on time like the rest of the students; as I illustrated above, one instructor went out of her way to push *extra* work on the students in chorus when they came to turn in the homework they were expected to do.

I can sense exactly two kinds of thinking in these instructors: the first is "well, that precious little girl thinks she's so special for being in chorus and drama? I'll show her." You can imagine the size of the baseball bat I'd need to explain reality to that kind of mind. The second is "just because you actually fell for the nonsense the school (my employer) pushed on you when you first enrolled doesn't mean I'm required to do anything to help you through it."

The lesson we're teaching these kids with this kind of mentality is "don't ever do more than the bare minimum to get through, because there's no real payoff for it."

Is this "building character" in my friend? Certainly. It's also building a massive resentment of some of the things she enjoys, and she's losing a lot of respect for all the people involved in this system.

It just bothers me that the response of *everyone* involved, no matter what her complaint is (or whether it's legitimate or not) is just "tough." She rarely complains (note, in fact, I'm complaining about this crap much more than she is -- she's too busy doing homework or trying to sleep in her few free moments each day to complain) about this stuff, but on the rare occasion she does, nobody really listens. What's that teaching her? "Shut up and do as you're told?"

Great message for our schools to be teaching.

The last thing you said I want to comment on is "[we just] had to prepare ahead of time." How exactly does one do that when one shows up Monday to the regular chorus class and hears "oh, by the way, tomorrow night you all have to be at such-and-such church for a last-minute show?"

As adults, yes, we have to deal with "unfair" things, but we also have more resources to at least *try* to fight them. We can change jobs more easily than a student can change schools or classes. We can use different a different business/provider if the one we're used to screws something up. We have our own cars and can get ourselves where we need to go.

What the hell can a high schooler actually do when people constantly pour on work, with no reward, with no avenue to redress concerns? She's dependent on her father for transportation. She doesn't work (at a job that, y'know, actually *pays* wages) because she doesn't have time. She's one of the best students at the school.

Her reward for that? She'll have a (very slightly) better chance at getting into college (where another brand of excessive work/expectation arrives). In the meantime, people in charge at her school (whether consciously or not) pour on the work, refuse to give even an inch, etc., either because they're jealous of her or because they possess some misguided notion that pushing her harder and harder all the time relentlessly will somehow make her a better person.

It still doesn't seem right to me.

For the record, when I was in high school (I attacked the problem very differently -- I participated in *nothing* there, attended only for two years, used a state program to force that scumbag organization to pay for my first year at Colorado State University, and jumped straight to college at 15), students in extracurricular activities *were* occasionally excused for missing classes or forgiven for turning in homework late. Yes, the other students thought it sucked, and *we* were all told "tough."

These kids in these programs are making the school look good, bringing in awards and funding for their work. They deserve more than late nights up doing homework and endless stress for their efforts.