ashishlijhara

@ashishlijhara (584)

India • Age 38

Joined myLot 20 years ago

YOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

www.blogofjavacrazy.blogspot.com

Discussions (84)

ashishlijhara's Discussions

There was a place crash in Poland

ashishlijhara @ashishlijhara (584) • India 25 Apr 07

A small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Poland. Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the...

What was the problem before?

ashishlijhara @ashishlijhara (584) • India 25 Apr 07

Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The...

What just happened here?

ashishlijhara @ashishlijhara (584) • India 25 Apr 07

A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down. The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy. So he yells to the soldiers in back to throw things...

Those raccoons are not luggage

ashishlijhara @ashishlijhara (584) • India 25 Apr 07

As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane. When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. "Do you...

An engineer and a programmer

ashishlijhara @ashishlijhara (584) • India 25 Apr 07

A programmer and an engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from Los Angeles to New York The programmer leans over to the engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The engineer just wants to...

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1 person

Gta Vice City Stories

ashishlijhara @ashishlijhara (584) • India 21 Apr 07

Gta Vice city stories is out now,on psp,ps2,and copmter! I had been waiting for geting my hands on a new gta title and that it is here i cant wait to get my hands on it i'll go today itself and purchase the title....Will give a...

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1 person

Rowing Your Boat

ashishlijhara @ashishlijhara (584) • India 21 Apr 07

Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat. The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad...

Are You Really Sure?

ashishlijhara @ashishlijhara (584) • India 21 Apr 07

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" In a hushed voice, the guy next to him him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something." Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is...

Upset is unhealthy

ashishlijhara @ashishlijhara (584) • India 21 Apr 07

The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly." On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the tranquilizers...

Low self-esteem

ashishlijhara @ashishlijhara (584) • India 21 Apr 07

A guy had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist. He went there, lay on the couch, spilled his guts then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make him feel...

Trouble sleeping

ashishlijhara @ashishlijhara (584) • India 21 Apr 07

The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. "What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked. "Well, I, uh," she stammered."I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac." "I see," he said. "I can help you, but I must...

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1 person

I often feel guilty

ashishlijhara @ashishlijhara (584) • India 21 Apr 07

Sheri, the pert and pretty nurse took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where she worked. "Doctor, you must help me," she pleaded. "It's gotten so that every time I date one of the young doctors here, I end...

You must check this out

ashishlijhara @ashishlijhara (584) • India 30 Mar 07

I have started a new blog here is the link: http://blogofjavacrazy.blogspot.com though it is a java blog but i have features on my side bar that are really cool and awesome to use like finetune widget that allows you to play...

1 response

Name That Virus(contd.)

ashishlijhara @ashishlijhara (584) • India 23 Mar 07

The MIKE TYSON virus: quits after two bytes. The OPRAH WINFREY virus: your 300 MB hard drive shrinks to 100 MB, then slowly expands to restabilize around 200 MB. The JACK KEVORKIAN virus: deletes all old files. The PROZAC...

Name That Virus

ashishlijhara @ashishlijhara (584) • India 23 Mar 07

The AL GORE virus: causes your computer to just keep counting. The CLINTON virus:gives you a 7-inch hard drive with NO memory. The BOB DOLE (AKA: VIAGRA) virus: makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy. The LEWINSKY...

1 response

Blonde Joke

ashishlijhara @ashishlijhara (584) • India 23 Mar 07

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you...

2 responses

Joke

ashishlijhara @ashishlijhara (584) • India 23 Mar 07

A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied,"I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off."The...

Joke

ashishlijhara @ashishlijhara (584) • India 23 Mar 07

A blonde and a brunette are driving down the highway in a convertible. The brunette knows that she's speeding so she asks the blonde if there's a cop behind them. The blonde looks behind her and sees a cop and tells the brunette....

1 response

Joke

ashishlijhara @ashishlijhara (584) • India 23 Mar 07

A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway. As the officer peered through the driver's window, he was astounded to find that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting. The trooper cranked down his window...

Employee evaluations.

ashishlijhara @ashishlijhara (584) • India 4 Mar 07

Quotes taken from actual employee evaluations: 1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig." 2. "I would not allow this employee to breed." 3. "This associate is really not so much...