How about my future?

Practice! Practice! Practice! Speak, and write in English frequently. Make friends with people who speak English. Find pen pals who speak English to communicate with. There websites that help you to learn English online. Here are a few websites that might help: http://www.eslcafe.com/ http://www.manythings.org/ http://www.eslpartyland.com/ http://www.eslflow.com/

Well when I feel like a blew a job interview, I go back to the words my mother keeps telling me, "if you force it to happen, it won't happen the way you want it to." This is not the job for you. Just remember that the right job will come up and you will be grateful that the other job came through. I will give you an example. There were two positions that I applied for, one was an emergency room clerk working 6p to 6a and an administrative assistant job at a bank. Well I wanted them so bad, but I didn't get them. Instead, I got a job at two hotels in the same company making more than I would at the bank and hospital. I work nights 11p to 7a so I don't have to deal with the public so much and I am alone. I love the job and am not as upset about not getting the other jobs. So don't worry about blowing the interview. I always believe that something better will always come along.

I would say keep practicing until your English is perfect. It's normal to be discouraged and maybe you should give yourself a break before applying to the next job and practice. Or, you may want to find a job that pays well that you can already do. You can also see if this hotel has other jobs that you can do and while you're doing them, you can practice your English and work your way up. That way, you can get to know both the other employees and their customers. Don't give up. I know life seems hard, but everything always seems to work out in the end.