homosexual friend

@missak (3311)
Spain
April 22, 2007 8:59am CST
When you have a friend that you think is homosexual but you're not totally sure, how can you ask him/her without disturbing him/her, whether the answer is positive or negative? Should you wait until he/she tells you? What if he/she is that kind of homosexual that hide that for being more accepted, but you want to tell him/her that you will accept him/her as is?
5 people like this
10 responses
• United States
23 Apr 07
Is this a close friend or a new friend? If it is a close friend I would ask them who would be their perfect mate.If they don't use any pronouns describing their perfect mate, they may be gay.If it is a new friend I wouldn't ask until i knew them better.Would it make a difference if they were gay? It shouldn't.
2 people like this
@missak (3311)
• Spain
24 Apr 07
WOOOW That's a nice crazy trick, the "perfect mate". I'll definitly use it, I think, thanks a lot!!!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
24 Apr 07
I think it would be better if he will be the one to tell me of what his feelings within.It is because,it doesn't mean that he act or his voice sounds like a girl he can be consider as a homesexual? definetly NOT!. Now a days we always committed wrong perceptions againts to the people whom we beleive that they are like of what we think of. I just want to clear that there are some guys who have a girlish voices, walk like a girl but, has the Heart of a real man. Coz we give perceptions to others through the way they walk, talk and others, right! that can be consider as a homosexual act. For me in oder not to hurt my friends feelings I better wait the right time he will say he is like that,as long he doesn't step somebody that cause a cost to others. I will always be his friend. Real friend must accept the weakness of the circle of friends whatever who he may be or whatever he/she possesses. We must accept and understand the strongest and weakest part of one another in order to build a strong mutual friendship.
2 people like this
@hcromer (2711)
• United States
23 Apr 07
If you think that one of your friends is homosexual, you shouldn't ask them straight out because you will probably hurt their feelings no matter what their answer is. If one of my friends told me that they were homosexual then I would accept them as they are.
2 people like this
• United States
23 Apr 07
Mmm interesante.. MUY interesante.. Lets see.. the main thing i guess is knowing that with either answer you wont freak out or your perspective of the person wont change.. including not being homophobic.. I guess if its a very close friend there is no wrong in asking straight, always making sure to let the other person know that is not a bad thing if he or she is gay.. is not something that is going to change ur friendship or will make you think less of that person. If its not a close friend i guess the subject is off-limits cause u dont want to intrude into someones personal life unless you have green light.. that would be just not ethic nor right...
2 people like this
• United States
22 Apr 07
if you are a true friend you will leave it to your friend just let him/her know you care for them regardless they will inform you when and if they get ready!
@mrbranan (1012)
• United States
22 Apr 07
I feel like if they are your friend you know. I have friends that are homosexual and I love them. I have never asked them if that was the case or not I have just always knew and it was no big deal.
2 people like this
@lilaclady (28236)
• Australia
22 Apr 07
I think you should just treat them like you treat any friend until such time maybe they want to tell you, if they want you to know I am sure they will tell you, it really depends on how close you are with them, but I would wait til they at least start talking about the subject if and when they do....
• India
27 Apr 07
Yeah I do know a friend of mine is attracted to this theory of Gay people because he is always fascinatd by this topic but I dont have substantial proof to nail him LOL.But if i do i'll want him to know that he is a much precious friend and it dont matter if he's gay unless he starts hitting on me.
1 person likes this
@FrancyDafne (2048)
• Italy
27 Apr 07
First, is it so important to know if your friend is homosexual? Second, if you are so curious about it, ok, I think there is nothing bad, you can ask, no problem.... if he/she is a friend of yours, you surely know him/her and so you know the way of asking him/her if he/she is homosexual. If he/she doesn't want to face this subject he/she will tell you. I don't think this is a problem. Or not?
• Janesville, Wisconsin
26 Apr 07
I would wait until they bring it up if you are this nervous about it. However, if you are really close friends, and do not take a homophobic attitude... Then asking should be no problem... - DNatureofDTrain