How do you rest after you have a baby?

United States
April 25, 2007 8:21am CST
I also have a 4 year old and most of the time it is just me and my son. Here soon we will have a new addition, and I was wondering how you get to rest with them outnumbering you. Especially in the early days when you need to rest to recover. No, I will not have any help after the weekend of being in the hospital. The old man will go back on the road and my mom will not stay with me to help. She doesn't even want to stay to look after her grandson while I'm in the hospital. So for all you single moms with no one to help, how do you rest? My son is good for the most part, and I currently nap throughout the day with him around, but I am afraid that my instincts will be dulled somewhat and I'll sleep too heavily at any given stretch. Right now, its just a light nap, where I hear what he is doing and know where he is. How do you do it?
4 people like this
15 responses
• United States
25 Apr 07
I just read breifly the other commints and I was suprized at how many said get help. You carry the baby in one hand and do what you have to do with the other. sometimes when you hubby is home take your 4yr old and go to MCdonalds It will be good for both of you You will be so happy that he is old enough to thing for himself. Like walk! LOL enjoy
• United States
25 Apr 07
yeah, normally people don't have too much help availible, because other people have their own lives. And I don't want to mess that up. I just want to know how to cope with this so that the upheaval isn't quite as big.
• United States
25 Apr 07
It's all good. you can do it. Don't forget your vitiams. and coffee
• United States
25 Apr 07
yeah, I'm hoping so!
@pumpkinjam (7566)
• United Kingdom
26 Apr 07
My oldest son was 5 when my baby was born. He actually helped out a bit where he could but obviously still needed attention himself. I will usually go to bed early. I'll put the baby to bed then spend some time with my other son and go to bed when he does rather than napping through the day so that I can get on with houseork and things during the day when the baby spends an hour watching tv or something. My partner has an irregular work pattern so I often don't know whenther he will be here or not and when he is here he doesn't really help out so I am basically on my own all the time anyway. Do you remember what you did when you had your first child?
• United Kingdom
27 Apr 07
I know it is a lot harder with 2. My oldest was the perfect baby. he just ate and slept and then he was already at school when baby2 was born. As long as you make sure your older child still gets loads of attention you should be ok!
• United States
27 Apr 07
Oh of course he will get lots of attention. I know at times I'll be stretched thin, but he's my little man and I would never NOT give him attention. Right now the attention he gets is mostly negative though. He has his 4 year old ways and they tend to get on my nerves easier right now. I hate it, but try to balance it with as much love as I can.
• United States
25 Apr 07
This Is the most important thing Do this above all else do this. Buy gifts for your 4yr old large or small dose not matter. wrap it up as a gift. Put one in you case that you are taking to the hospital. When the 4yr old comes to see you at the hospital give him the gift From the Baby. Any other gifts wrapped and from the baby he gets when you get home. You would not believe how much the 4yr old will help you with the baby. It works Just do it.
• United States
25 Apr 07
I always did love bribery. lol. I use it frequently when I want my son to eat his dinner. Otherwise he would only eat peanut butter and waffles.
• United States
25 Apr 07
you got it
• United States
25 Apr 07
Okay I am a nurse and I have 3 children grown now. An Idea that I have told new mothers in the hospital before they go home. when you get home, you will be tired. don't try to do everything. take care of yourself and kids. when you get tired exspecally when others are around. including you husband. go put on a gown or PJ's this triggers in their mind that you are tired. I know its simple but it works. as for your 4year old I set a time of day with a snack for them to watch cartoon's and I took a couch nap. To this day I get sleepy around 3:00. lol
• United States
25 Apr 07
yeah, maybe the couch will have to be the spot, because I know I won't be comfy there. lol. So no deep sleeping. I think, if I get too tired that may not be the case though.
• United States
25 Apr 07
thats so funny that is why rested there, and they were right infront of me. I also had a step son. so at the time my daughter's got here I had two son's age 6, when the first girl was born. then when the second daughter was born, my son's were 8,9. and my daughter was 3, and a newborn. Yea I loved those cartoon naps.
@Michele21 (3094)
• United States
25 Apr 07
I am afraid to tell you think but I don't think you will get much rest!! Without anyone there to help you it will definitely be hard!! I would suggest taking a nap with your baby when he/she sleeps, set your son up with something to do, the TV or whatever =) So you can stay sane you will have to sleep with the baby!! I really feel for you because I had my hubby here and it was still hard. There were many times I would fall asleep sitting up on the couch holding my son while I was feeding him. Luckily he would sleep a little bit too =) Good luck!!!
• United States
25 Apr 07
Michele21 is right, you won't get a lot of rest. Coffee will probably become your friend LOL I would consider getting some new videos and/or toys for your 4-year-old. Don't get them out until you have one of those times when baby is napping and your older child wants to play. Then you can hand over the new things and rest while he plays with his new stuff. He'll be happy to have the new toys and perhaps less apt to make you play with him. Also, do try to find some help. Maybe a neighbor or friend might be willing to come help for an hour or two here and there, when you could rest. Best of luck to you"!
• United States
25 Apr 07
That's what I'm saying though. I'll be afraid to sleep because I might sleep too deeply. And if he hears the baby cry before me, he WILL try to take care of it. That is just his way. I don't think it is a good idea. I just may not be able to have a nap is all. Early bedtimes for everyone. lol.
• India
25 Apr 07
It is good to rest in the hospital for atleast two weeks after u have a baby as there will be doctors and nurses who takes ares of you.so please stay in hospital for rest after you have a baby.thanks.
@Michele21 (3094)
• United States
25 Apr 07
Two weeks?? Here in the States you get to stay in the hospital for two days...that is it unless you have a c-section or some other complications. I wish I could have a "mini-vacation" for two-weeks in the hospital. Having someone being me breakfast, lunch and dinner, watching TV all day...it would be great!!
• United States
25 Apr 07
lol! I have to say, two weeks would be too much for me. I don't like the two or three days we get here in the states! They never let you rest (not in the hospital I have to go to!) and its just less peaceful than at home.
• United States
26 Apr 07
We didn't live near my parents, and my husband had to go back to work when I came home from the hospital, so I was left without any help. We also had custody of his 5 year old, which was in Kindergarten for part of the day. I don't think I have caught up on sleep yet and it is 7 years later now. LOL I used to try to nap when the baby would fall asleep. But it was usually short lived.
• United States
26 Apr 07
Yeah, thats what I'm afraid of. I have school to look forward to though, so at least a couple days a week, I should be able to get a few hours of peace in a row!
@msjigga (866)
• United States
26 Apr 07
I can relate I have a 5 yr old and I just had a baby 9 months ago. Rest is rare... because my 5yr old is demanding more attention now that I have another child. Good Luck!!!
• United States
26 Apr 07
Yeah, mine has already started that! He always has to be on my lap right now and just wants to be up my bum all the time. I dunno about this. lol! And thanks, I have a feeling I'm going to need all the luck I can get!
@aj2006 (1536)
• Philippines
26 Apr 07
.... sacrifice is the key to your situation now, it's like hard and painful labor,but afterwards all is well and the baby is out of your tummy and when you laid your eyes on that baby, the stress just disappeared in a blink. ..... I am a mom as well,at this point of time, those little rest that we might have is still helpful, later on, we will realize that little naps will soon be better sleep. just have faith in the Lord!
• United States
26 Apr 07
Well of course. I know there are mothers out there in the world that don't bother to sacrifice for their kids, but I'm not one of those. That is why I have only bought 2 outfits in 4 years! It's why I give the last bit of milk to my son, even as I need it now for the baby. Its why I gave up college.... My life has been full of sacrifices, but I can't sacrifice too much on sleep or I might pass out at a critical moment. And that would be far worse than trying to figure out how to get enough rest to stay functional.
@cicerone (95)
• India
26 Apr 07
Congat's !!!Becoming a mother is something Gr8.You can just have a cool life teach you kids moral stories, design thier life,take care of them....This is what you can do at this time...
• United States
26 Apr 07
Ok, you are either a man or someone without children. lol. First off, kids have a hard time learning morals, no matter the age. Especially in todays world. Second, you try to design a childs life, they will hate you forever. They have to design their own lives. And you have to pray that you gave them everything they need to know to make the design stable and infallible. As for taking care of them.... of course, a mothers work is never done!
@ellanick (191)
• Philippines
26 Apr 07
im afraid that you cannot get the rest that you want as of the moment coz of your son and new baby. my suggestion is try to take a nap when they are sleeping,but before sleeping try to take away all the things that might hurt your kid and lock the door so he cannot get out if in case you sleep heavily.
@mansha (6301)
• India
25 Apr 07
I just don't know where to start, more than you I am feeling scared for you as I had tough time with my daughter with lack of sleep and cysts and so many other problems. I am wondering how on earth re you going to manage all alone. I wish there was no need of boundaries and p[assports and stuff and I could come and take care of you. Why can your mother not stay when you need her the most. I don't have a mother but with my first born she was there and it was so easy to raise a child with her around. I missed her this time a lot. Onlything I can sugest is get talking to your four year old and train him to wake you up if baby cries. I ahd done this wih my son but he was six then. I made him help me a lot. He used to fetch nappies and watch the baby if I am taking bath. I had told him not to try and lift the baby all by himself, and let me help him. we used to talk at great lengths how much life would change for him and me with new baby around. may be you should try this with yoru four year old too.
• United States
26 Apr 07
I'll manage. I'll have to, as so many single moms do. I'm not single, but might as well be with as much as he is home. lol. The life of a truck driver is a lonely one for all involved. My mother is one that just has to be in her own space. She needs her internet (which she has here), cable tv (which is NOT here) and her video games (which we are also low on). And of course her own bed. Which I don't blame her there. We have beds, but only mine is as comfortable as hers is. And you know who will be in that one.
@snow2007 (170)
• Canada
25 Apr 07
I think you should just take it easy stay home relax and Take care of your baby.
• United States
26 Apr 07
HAHAHAHA! Uhm, I have to care for more than the baby. There are two kids. Did you read my post?
• United States
25 Apr 07
Well with a four year old i'd put him to bed early, and try to get the baby to sleep too. I think that it would be good to instate nap time for the four year old, or just a quiet time when you can nap in the same room he's playing in. Or you could get someone maybe a family member to come over and watch them for a couple of hours so you could get a nap in. You can aslo get your husband to aid in this by getting up with the baby while you are healing, my husband did this for me and it was great.
• United States
25 Apr 07
My husband will be on the road driving a truck so we can pay some bills, as I stated in my original post. There will be no help, but then that is normal pretty much. I was just hoping for better tips on how to handle this situation. Guess there are none.
@sunshine4 (8706)
• United States
25 Apr 07
Why don't you look into hiring a sitter for your 4 yr old for a couple of weeks while you are getting use to the baby and getting him/her on a schedule. If finances make this impossible, continue to nap when your 4 yr old naps. New borns usually sleep all day anyways, so if you can catch a nap you need to since you will probably be up at night with the baby. Also, do you have any other relatives that would be willing to help? What about church friends?
• United States
25 Apr 07
I cannot afford a sitter and as I stated in my original post, there is no one to help me when I get out of the hospital, its that simple. I'm not joking in any way. As for the 4 year old, he does not nap anymore. Well, rarely. Only after playing at the park ALL day. Literally all day, but I will not feel like taking all of us to the park for the whole day, everyday, its not practical.