Do people change once you get to know them?

Do people change ? - friends forever
@Augustta (1860)
Poland
April 27, 2007 9:29am CST
Of course my friends change through the course of years. So have i however, that has not efected the streinght of our friendship. On the contrary. Through the good and bad times, we have grown together. However, that only applies to true friendship... ...well, some people i meet, completely changed their attitudes from when i first meet them once you get to know them. At first, they were pretty cool...but when get to know them, they just got plain annoying... and they start bothering you too much... Do you agree with that? Do you know anyone that acts the same? Do people change once you get to know them?
18 people like this
53 responses
@unishwetabh (1032)
• India
27 Apr 07
I feel that its not about whether we meet people or not. Time is a kind of tool that can change everything. Even we....we all change in a span of time. People at first look do look good enough to be made friends, but only time shows us the worth of friendship. Never judge a book by its cover.......the same way dont go for the looks but for the quality. Although everything changes with time but be sure that the change is positive.
3 people like this
@ESKARENA1 (18299)
27 Apr 07
I think as we get to know someone we find there is more depth to them. It is argued by some psychologists that we all have three different personalities that we display in different situations. We have on stage personalities, for when we have an audience with people we dont know but want to impress. Front stage personalities are the ones we show when we are at work. This is our professionalism, the type of thing a teacher uses in class or, indeed an actor on stage. The third personality type we all use of course is the off stage personality. This is the side of us we only show to those we are intimate with. I truely believe we all play these roles and, as a consequence, we may see a change in personality as we get to know someone. The closer we get to someone, the more we see the different personalities that individual employs blessed be
2 people like this
@Augustta (1860)
• Poland
27 Apr 07
Very competent response...is like you are doctor...psihologist... Well,thank you for information... augusta
2 people like this
@ESKARENA1 (18299)
28 Apr 07
i must declare professional interest at this point my friend, i do work as a psychologist/teacher in a prison in the uk blessed be
1 person likes this
@ESKARENA1 (18299)
7 May 07
wow, thankyou for the best response, it is always appreciated blessed be
@bluewings (3857)
27 Apr 07
There are many that do change with time.Perhaps it's due to their personal experiences that their attitude towards life and their friends change.I have been blessed with strong bonds of friendship.So,even if I move away from my friends or can't meet with each other for years ,not much changes between us.The true friends are there when you need them the most.However,there are people who are warm to know at an impersonal level ,but at a more personal level they tend to lose that mask and behave differently.It's possible that they don't want strangers and acquaintances to see their sufferings because they dislike being sympathesized.
2 people like this
@Augustta (1860)
• Poland
27 Apr 07
Now i am jealous because you have such a great friends!!..
1 person likes this
@bluewings (3857)
27 Apr 07
Nah,they too disappear when they can't solve the crisis.It's not exactly friends .It's a friend ,but he needs to spend time with his girlfriend :-P
@Augustta (1860)
• Poland
27 Apr 07
ha ha ha!! let me guess his zodiacal sign...pisce or cancer? augusta
1 person likes this
@liranlgo (5748)
• Israel
27 Apr 07
The longer you know a person the more they change. It also depends on what age you start knowing them, because there are certain ages that a person goes through a lot of changes in his life. I do think that you can compare this issue to a love issue. By that i mean, first you have a crush on someone, than you start to know him or her and start to love him, you grow with him, and at some stage of life you realize that each of you have grown to different directions, then you decide if you are comfortable with that or want to separate and find someone more suitable. I do know that i always is attracted to a person for special things in him or her, and only then when we spend time together i really start knowing my friend, and he also lets me know his weak sides, that i did not see when i just met him. When we discover the weak sides, we do see see the person as a different person, you can say that he was changed in our own eyes. Friendship is a relationship like any other relationship, when each change and are going through a lot of changes. I never had a situation were a good friend annoyed or bothered me so much, maybe it was because i set him back on his place, telling him, that if has a problem he can talk about it instead of acting like a fool, I guess they did understand what i told them. LOl. I do not have a lot of patience for idiotic reactions, and my friends know that. ;)
@Augustta (1860)
• Poland
27 Apr 07
well done! thank you for the reply... augusta
2 people like this
@liranlgo (5748)
• Israel
27 Apr 07
You are welcome. Glad you enjoyed:))
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
27 Apr 07
i think most people are just nice and good at the start. but once you get them more, their true colors just show up. i knew some people who are like that. they pretend someone they are not. but i met people who are nice and true from the very start. but such people are hard to find. once you find them, never let these true friends just get off your life. you might not be able to find another one like them again. happy myLotting augusta!
2 people like this
@Augustta (1860)
• Poland
27 Apr 07
well,in real life i meet more friends like you said first...those which show their color later.. thank you for the reply,sweety! augusta
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
27 Apr 07
yup. for sure! you will. and there are many more to come our way. scary, right? but it's reality. but i know we aren't like those pretenders. hehe.
2 people like this
@barnkinney (1343)
• Philippines
27 Apr 07
sometime it's a matter of first impression. you think you already know someone and or it's how you thought they really are where in fact it's different. maybe they didn't really change, you just didn't see it there in the first place. yes, true friendship would pass the test of change.
2 people like this
• China
28 Apr 07
It is always happening ,when u got to know a man,you will find out his shortcomings.
@kamran12 (5555)
• Pakistan
30 Apr 07
I think this change is of two types Augustta! one is positive and the other is negative just like you mentioned. Positive change comes with good friends, who are sincere, honest and trust worthy. through time they get to know you more and you know them more so, a positive, cooperative, helping and understanding relationship builds up. On the other hand there is a negative change with some people when you get close to them. It's because whenever people meet with someone for the first time, they try to present their best face to others. but when once we know them, this artificial face goes away and real face appears, which is not as good as it looked before. These people cause harm to meaning of friendship and are a reason of disappoint. I don't have much friends, but the ones i have are real friends, always there to stand by me through every thick and thin. I believe that they would even give their lives to save mine, should such a case appear. But almost all of them never had a positive view of me at first sight. they thought of me as a strange person, silent and reserved but then the same people are the ones who love me as a great friend and i have the same feeling about them. Similarly there are people who appeared very nice but became a headache afterwards.
2 people like this
• Nigeria
29 Apr 07
I would want to tie this down to you in general. People around us change not of their own vocation but due to changes they might have noticed within us. Some might become hostile and not-too-nice cause you aint reciprocating the kind of emotions that they seems to have on you, they also change when they see you as someone that might be better off than them or maybe they see you as a potential rival for a particular post or office job. For others the change might be positive, probably they value your friendship and have learnt one or two things from you. Change like they say is inevitable so you cannot be blamed for changes in other people even if its hostile, aggressive or nice.
2 people like this
• Philippines
28 Apr 07
I think these things really happen. MOst people change when you get to know them. At first they are polite but as time passes by and gets to know you, they usually change.If they change for the better i would gladly accept them as my friend. But if they change for the worst, they are friends not for keeps. Agree? Goodluck!
2 people like this
• India
28 Apr 07
YESSSSSS ... i can be taken for example.. not in cases of tru freinships but the general aquaintances... like we meet new ppl.. here we think about how to behave infront of a new person and we try to impress them .. but once we really get to knpow them n we feel that there is no need to actually try so hard to pretend the way we did b4 , we change .. we change in the way we talk we meet , we behave any where .. we mite be less interested after the first few meets ..
@touchnshine (2821)
• India
28 Apr 07
People don't change but we will see their real face after we know them fully. When u meet someone for the first time .. obviously he will be nice to you and you will never come to know about his other nature but as time slips you will come to know more and more about that person and will actually know their real nature.
2 people like this
@denden (803)
• Philippines
28 Apr 07
I dont think so that people change once i get to know them because it has something to do with first impression.because when u see the person the traits that imprint in your mind is your first impression.First impression would be not true or true.I have an experience of that the first impression of my friend to me is that i am very silent and naughty and it was all a first impression so as they get to know me more they know that i am nice and a good friend.
• Bulgaria
28 Apr 07
Oh,definetely!Every time I get to know someone knew and I make an impression of them soon after it turns out that their totaly different people and everything I though they were was not quitetrue.Few arethose who are real and want to make real friends and never want to pretend fake.
• Philippines
28 Apr 07
yep, i've met several people who are like that. there are people who you think is really sweet but once you get to spend time with them, you found out that that person is the total opposite. then, sometimes you know this person as selfcentered only to find out that you she's quite nice and you like her. sometimes, the person change from being worse to good or vice versa and sometimes it's you who change and see that person from different point of view.
2 people like this
@ajaleelp (131)
• India
28 Apr 07
People do change when you get to know them.This can be of two reasons: 1)The extend to which you understand them changes.You might begin to understand their true nature.This will usually happen as you get closer to them.So in truth,they are not changing at all but you feel so because your realization about them changes. 2)Another possibility is that the persons attitude towards you changes as your relation goes on.For example the person might think that it is time to be informal with you since you are already close enough.They might start sharing more of themselves.Hence you wil feel a change in them. Well,at the core everyperson has a nature of his/her own which hardly changes.But we feel a change at times due to the above reasons.
• United States
28 Apr 07
Well I think as we grow it is possible to change. I watched it happen to those I went to high school once we graduated. Its harsh but once you get to know a person you might not like them. I dont even open up to people too much unless I know they will except me for me.
2 people like this
@Jennifer21 (2476)
• United States
28 Apr 07
Absolutelly, people change with time, as the grow and mature. I know I have changed within the past 3 years. Some people change for the better and some people change for the bad.
@healwell (1268)
• Ahmedabad, India
28 Apr 07
Change is a natural phinomina in life! In human relationship also few changes are occurring. And it is true that after knowing the person people finally decide to go ahead! If they like to go for a long friendship they will otherwise gradually it will come to an end! At the same time if you are sensitive you will feel bad! But dont get that juust try to understand the reality! If you like the person then make it clear! Rest of the things will be ok then!
@sweetlady10 (3617)
• United States
28 Apr 07
I totally agree with you. People do change with time. I think we all change with time in some way. But that is the part of life. What I don't like is when people show you their hiden behavier once you come close to each other. Lots of people are their who is a diferent person when you first meet them and differnt person when you actually know them. I have lots of experience of this kind. I hate this.
2 people like this
@gemini1960 (1162)
• Philippines
28 Apr 07
Its not that they change but maybe at first they are only faking themselves to be able to have new friends and when started to be comfortable with each others then they forgot how to hold or how to behave properly due to closeness and thinking it is alright then.