Have you forgived or haven’t forgived anyone in your life? Why?
@totalearnings (1603)
India
April 29, 2007 9:23am CST
To err is human. I presume we all do mistakes and also see others doing mistakes. Even I do mistakes sometimes not serious or intentionally though and I want to be forgiven as I feel we learn much from the experiences and subsequent changes. And as long as the other person is sincere and remorseful, then I forgive pretty easily coz for the most part, i think I am very forgiving.
However, on the other hand, some things in life are also inexcusable and unforgivable. I am not saying that being revengeful or bitter about things is ever a good thing. But i don't think that you have to forgive to avoid either of those mental states. Some people are just not willing to be forgiven because they maintain their stand that they were right to do something to someone else that made that person feel bad. Others claim to have forgiven someone, and yet bring up the same matter every chance they get. Do you think by not forgiving we tend to carry negative feeling towards one who has harmed you?
What does forgiveness mean to you? Do you have a forgiving nature? Have you forgived or haven’t forgived anyone in your life? Why?
4 people like this
16 responses
@deepti15 (1190)
• India
30 Apr 07
I am a tough person. To forgive or forget something done against me or unapproved by me is tough for me. I am not relentless, but I am not an easy person in that manner.
I do not hurt others and expect the same from them...am I wrong in doing that?
But yes life becomes heavy if I keep accumulating and carrying all the grudges or injustice that others have done to me. Also even I have done so many mistakes, knowingly or unknowingly towards other people, with that thought in mind, I try to calm myslef and forgive any wrong done. Although, it is very very difficult for me.
@trinidadvelasco (11401)
• Philippines
1 May 07
it is true that we have to forgive those persons who have wronged us, if they deserve to be forgiven, whether we like it or not. once we find out that the error was committed without meaning to, we have to forgive the person. once we find out that he is truly for what he did, we have to forgive this one, too. it is really a case to case basis. for one who has broken our window, he gets forgiven, after he had replaced it.
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
29 Apr 07
I don't think there's anything revengeful in my nature. Sure, I've been hurt and betrayed a lot in the past but I always forgave them in the end. But, I need time to heal first. To think about the situation and the person involved. I always believe in karma. If you hurt somebody, eventually, someone will hurt you too. Life is too short for us to dwell on something that happened already.
1 person likes this
@nilzerous1 (2434)
• India
30 Apr 07
Personally, I am pretty aware of the fact that I am not yet a perfect person, so, I am bound to make mistakes. What I believe is that, when I commit a mistake, I expect everyone affected to forgive me. So, when someone else makes a mistake, I have no option left but to forgive that person. At least it is better to forgive and forget than to remember every nitty-gritty affair involving people whom you know. I forgive a lot and not only that I forget all my bitter experience as well. This has kept me moving till date.
@trinidadvelasco (11401)
• Philippines
1 May 07
totalearnings, we can only forgive those who ask to be forgiven. for those people who are so hardheaded as to insist that they had not done anything wrong at all, despite having been told of the errors he had committed, what is there to forgive? there are some wrong doings which we can forgive only after some restitutions have been done. to be forgiving is really a matter of circumstances and consequences, too.
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
1 May 07
Friends ever commented that I am actually soft-hearted though I appear tough. So I guess I am one forgiving person and I forgive easily though at times I would get angry if I recall the incident. However, I do find it hard to forgive a person if the person is obviously in the wrong and still tries to defend himself.
@totalearnings (1603)
• India
30 Apr 07
i appreciate your forgiving nature Axoloti. in my opinion it is possible to release the pain of an act, however if you still do not forgive the person then you still have some emotional problem with them and this problem will still keep on eating you over time. This is still an emotional pain, and only by truly forgiving you will be able to release this pain too.
@lissaj (532)
• United States
30 Apr 07
It isn't easy to always forgive, but I try. I don't think it is healthy to hold something in for a long time. Even the worst things, you have to deal with and move on with your life. There are a lot of things that I have forgiven, but not forgotten. But I am not the kind of person that will throw it in someones face all the time. You work through your feelings, deal with the problems and move on. It might take awhile in some cases, but it can be done.
@anjalisk2005 (1492)
• India
30 Apr 07
even i am very forgiving..if it comes with a pro[pr explanation ofcoarse...
@SexyMhei (152)
• Philippines
30 Apr 07
I am a person who easily forgive, but sometimes I am hard on myself. There were times that it was easier for me to forgive others but can't bring to forgive myself for my past mistakes, serious or not. It took me a long time to learn that I need to forgive myself first before I can truly forgive others or expect others to forgive me.
You're right, all of us tend to make mistake, so we should really learn to forgive others no matter how hurtful it is. It is not easy but it is definitely not impossible. Besides, when we don't forgive, we carry the bad feelings, and who knows if the person who hurts us is affected by our anger or not, although sometimes, when we withheld our forgiveness for others we also withheld blessings not only for them but four ourselves also. Forgiving is cleansing to the soul, it gives you freedom to truly live your life happily. I have learned how to forgive myself, and I have been forgiven so many times, that I know extending forgiveness towards others should be a part of our principle. We don't have the right to withheld forgiveness towards others.
@anjoks (2080)
• Philippines
30 Apr 07
I don't think i'll be able to forgive my dad whom i hate so much right now. Sure i'll forgive him but he must make the effort first to apologize cause he has done something that made me so disrespectful to him now. . Well,i'm a nice, jolly good person. I give and give, got a lot of patience but don't push me too hard and i'll be like a bomb. You know what em sayin?! My problem's just my father, no other else. Don't have enemies, have good relationships with my friends,families and relatives. Just my f**ing father whom i caught red-handed sleeping with another woman a couple of years ago. Thats it! Bye.
@prettylady9143 (238)
• Philippines
30 Apr 07
yeah there are people that did bad things to me but ive already forgiven them because for me..i easily forgive and forget because i know everything happen for a reason. even if they dont say sorry, ive already forgiven them and the forget what they did to me. because i want to live life full of happiness and in light. no anger, no bitterness, no hatred in my heart. no enemies at all. i want to live peacefully. and i believe in karma also and i let fate decides on whats good for them but i dont pray that something bad happens to them ...no i dont wish for that. as a matter of fact, i always pray that one day they will open their eyes realizing that they have done something wrong and that God will make them see things good. you know its great to live peacefully. takecare.
@bettyrose20 (997)
• Philippines
30 Apr 07
i am a person who have a soft heart. As long as the one who hurts me will be the one to ask forgiveness (if he/she was the first) ill forgive her/him. I had forgave someone in my life, my hatred for her couldnt be measured but my father (when he was ailing) asked me to forgave her. And i did, and i felt so light, so renewed. It was so nice to know that you dont hold grudge against a person anymore.
@imalone (63)
• Philippines
30 Apr 07
Currently, i have a friend that I haven't forgive yet, because of his attitude and on what he had done to me. it's really painful. I treated him a trusted and true friend. I'm ignoring him right now..
but in the past, i have many people that i already forgiven.
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
29 Apr 07
I have been hurt many many times,and people have been mean to me at times,but i always forgive.Sometimes It takes a while to get over the hurt of it all but i just do not see any benefit from holding a grudge.All it does is hurt you it don't hurt the one that has done it as much as it hurts you.I have found if i just forgive and continue having the friendship you soon forget the pain and it all goes away..Most of the time the person that hurt you did really intend to do the damage.
@munhozmib (3837)
• Sao Paulo, Brazil
30 Apr 07
I always forgive people if they find their own mistakes. But some people just make mistakes and think they are right. Anyway, if they know they are wrong, and ask for sorry, of course I'll excuse them. Everyone is marked with the skill of making mistakes, it's common. So that's why I forgive others.
And when I find my own mistakes, I ask for people's sorry. Sometimes they don't forgive me, sometimes they do.
