I feel so sad and so upset because of my dad :c
By marababe
@marababe (2503)
Philippines
May 7, 2007 8:18am CST
This is quite personal. Very personal actually. But I'm really sad today and I need to get this off my chest before I explode.
OK, I think most of you guys know that I love my parents to bits and I respond to discussions with mostly "my dad" included in it. I do love my dad and I think he's great.
But what gets me so upset about him is that he has this other girl. My mom and I knew about it for a while now except for my brother. We knew about it but we haven't seen them together. About 2 weeks ago, my mom and I caught them together. My mom got so mad that she actually threw everything she gets her hands on. Instead of being angry to my dad, I talked to both them. They were OK after that.
So, here's the sad part for me. My mom and I are at the mall when suddenly she received a text message from the girl. The girl was saying mean things to my mom so we hurried over to my dad's office but instead of defending us and saying comforting things to us, he yelled. He actually shouted at me telling me not to the text the girl anymore. I mean duh, I didn't send any message to the girl and she was the one who first send me message to my mom. It's really upsetting for me.
I think I've been too understanding for him just to yell at me like that in front of the driver and one of his staff.
I'm so so so sad I feel like crawling up to bed and never to speak again.
3 people like this
15 responses
@lucky_witch (2707)
• Philippines
7 May 07
I understand your point... and I dont know how to make you feel better... Its not an easy situation... ANd I think right now according to your story... guess your father is beginning to be hook up with that girl...
I guess you should talk to your father and ask him if he's really willing to destroy your family because of that girl... Talk to him as a loving daughter...and if still nothing happens then you should talk to your mother and brother of what sdhould be done...
Right now calm yourself and pray...
2 people like this
@marababe (2503)
• Philippines
7 May 07
He's really beginning to be hooked up with that girl. I don't want to talk to him about it yet. He acts normal every time we're together. My brother doesn't know about it. He doesn't know about the girl, the messages my mom received, he doesn't know about the other girl. If he finds out, he'll surely get mad with our dad. He's like that.
@rsa101 (37969)
• Philippines
7 May 07
If you really is concerned about your mom and dad you should talk to your dad the soonest possible time. I have the feeling that your father was caught off guard by the situation that is why he reacted that way to you. I guess it your father will realized that soon after all the tensions are gone and he's ready to faced you and your mom. Be civil about the situation and I think everything will be resolved.
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (37969)
• Philippines
10 May 07
Ok you really did caught him up unaware so I expect that kind of reaction. He'll come to his senses and hopefully he would not side with the mistress. Hope you could still forgive your father and your father would be enlightened soon what he has done with his family.
1 person likes this
@healwell (1268)
• Ahmedabad, India
8 May 07
Actually you dealt with your dad like a little girl, not as a mature person!
What you have said and I got that first you both show them togather and you have talked with both, mom and dad and everytthing was ok then. You showed at that time a maturity but after getting message and reaching at dad's office you just lost such a mature touch!
I am not defending your dad at all. He is not doing good and I am agree that he should maintain the family relation with more care and love. But when you know that he already has the relation and it is now reflecting from other side too then maturity and understanding counts to do positive work regarding the relationship.
I know you are hurt and your dad has not behaved properly but you both should not say anything about the happening when a driver and staff member was there. and you also got reply in the same way!
Well tackle family matter at family level and try to be more intense regarding relationship and use open mindedness and care but not allow any kind of injustice too!
@onecutehoneybear (938)
• United States
7 May 07
I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this and deal with this. Its something no daughter should have to deal with.
I would suggest that you talk to your dad and mom about marriage counseling. Its the best thing they could do for each other. The counselor can help your mom threw her anger and help your dad through his issues of infidelity. Then they can make the choice if they want to stay together or not.
1 person likes this
@Gemmygirl1 (2867)
• Australia
8 May 07
I cant believe you guys are allowing this behaviour of your dad's to go on, i'd have kicked my husbad out if anything like this happened.
How dare he cheat in the first place & how dare he have a go at you like that at all.
Why is your mother allowing him to do this to her?
I think your Mum needs to do something about this & not let your Dad think that what he's doing acceptable. It sounds as though your Mum might have a low self esteem which is why she could be allowing it to continue.
By now i'd have packed up all of my partners things & had them sitting on the front porch for him to collect when he got home from work.
I wish you guys well but i think your Mum needs to find a bit of courage & she needs to discuss things with your Father, if that doesn't work, then he really needs to go. No-one who does something like that deserves any respect from anyone it's rude, cruel & disgusting.
1 person likes this
@marababe (2503)
• Philippines
8 May 07
My mom's like a martyr. I don't know. She always tell me that my dad still knows his responsibilities to us and in fairness, I can see it. I don't have anything to say regarding him as a father, he's a responsible dad. But right after he shouted at me, I'm already planning to run away for a while. And oh, my mom and I talked to him about it already right after we caught them together weeks ago. And the girl just sent my mom a message yesterday.
1 person likes this
@little_angel (2458)
• Australia
8 May 07
Sorry to hear that marababe
You should more patient with your dad, and if a husband had another girl must be something happen in his heart or mind so he decide to do that.
You must talk to him very carefully about this.
And told your mom to love him more, maybe he need something that he can't get in home or in his family.
Don't forget to pray for him, so he can back to his own family
Don't trust the girl or any other girl, they try to separate your parent and your family, ignore her, she must be crazy or sick because she like man with family. She just want his money or something.
Good luck dear. God bless you
@marababe (2503)
• Philippines
8 May 07
Money is definitely number one on that girl's list. She's been bragging about it to my mom in the messages she sent. I cannnot tell my mom to love him more because she does. She's the one taking care of him, preparing his meals, taking him to the doctor for checkups, EVERYTHING. And I mean EVERYTHING. That girl does nothing except ask for money. That's all she can do anyways cos it's still my mom who attends to my dad's needs. Thank you little_angel!
1 person likes this
@maevic (819)
• Bahrain
8 May 07
grrrr...i feel so angry after reading your story. It's so unfair on your side. Your family don't deserve that. Anyways, I have a brother too and he have another girl (the girl is so your, almost half his age) and I don't know what food she gave to my brother that my brother sacrificed his perfect family lifa for her, though personally i know that there's some problems between him and his wife...The family now is so messed up and I feel angry to my brother. BUt I'm still hoping one day, he will wake up in this nightmare that he did and realize what he has done is so wrong. I also hope your father would do that. Only advice i can give you is to be patient and pray for your father. Eventhough u know what he is doing, still show some respect. In those way, he will realize that the girl is not worth it to be exchanged to his loving family.
Give me updates on you ok? add me as a friend.
@subha12 (18441)
• India
8 May 07
its very sad. But what to do. u have to take prompt action. Try talk to your dad if u really wants to be by your mom's side.If u get no perfect answer then keep away from him as long as he does not come around himself and try to give suport to your mom.
@Graymsqtech (496)
• United States
10 May 07
What your mom is teaching you and your siblings that it is okay for the man to be a fool and that it is okay to cheat and hurt your family. What your dad is doing hurts all of you not just her. It is teaching you to accept a husband who is unfaithful and that the only thing is to keep the family together no matter how horrible it becomes. I think it also teaches you to lose respect for yourself and accept less than you should in life. I think the whole thing is out of whack and the only one acting adult is you. I would tell the whole bunch to straighten up or you will leave them and not put up with their shenanigans.
@marababe (2503)
• Philippines
10 May 07
Hi graymsqtech! Thank you for your opinion that the only one acting as an adult is me. But in fairness to my mom, she is not really "teaching" me and my brother that it is OK for a husband to cheat and hurt his family. It's just that she is trying to find the right time and moment to actually tell my brother (he has no idea about this whole thing yet). I believe I am mature enough to know how to feel and how to act about this. Thank you again! =)
@loveflower (29)
• Indonesia
8 May 07
Be patients marababe, I think many man in the world do it cheating.
@jobenmakapangyarihan (546)
• Philippines
8 May 07
don't be upset for what have happen...... try listening to some music it could really relief the pain in your hearth....don,t be sad... try talking to your boyfriend...
@amgine (225)
• Philippines
8 May 07
aawww that's sad. i hope ur dad realizes what he did and apologize to you and your mom. you and your mom certainly do not deserve to be treated that way, not by your dad, more so by his other woman.
@darshanhi (10)
• Australia
8 May 07
hey marababe m really sorry about hearing the story. the only thing which i would like to tell you or advise you is that we should take some things in life as they come by us. you have tried couple of times to explain your dad. but one thing is to be remembered that a person whenever is wrong, he never tends to accept the mistake but in turn would defend himself. i can understand the position you are in but would like to tell you that you being so mature and understanding should take it liking that life goes on with all these problems and if there are no problems there is no life!!!!!! the only thing which can be done is that marababe you can once again talk to your dad explain him the family life you had since years make him realise that what would he do if your would be husband does the same thing with you??? would he be able to bear the drastic change in your life?? explain him that it is still not too late and he can change the circumstances by letting the gurl go off from his life just taking into consideration about ur situation if same thing happened with you and ur would be husband??? i pray to god that he gets to know his mistake and realise this thing
@rythm2rain (34)
• India
8 May 07
just talk to ur dad in a mature way nd let him understand that u will not take any crap when it comes to ur mom.let ur mom nd dad sit nd decide wat they want to do.it's not easy to continue with a cheating husband who is repeating it nd defending it even after getting caught.it's high time ur mom takes a stern decision nd i hope u'll stand by ur mom.if ur bro is younger to u it's better u dont reveal much to him but at the same time don't keep him in the dark until he learns abt all this frm outsiders.
