Why are they calling me?

Tweet

Just a couple of days ago I made the mistake of posting a resume on Monster.com. Now I'm getting calls from the University of Phoenix and philately magazines. Not that I have anything against philately (it's stamp collecting). And this past Friday, I received a call from NY Life. My family was very vague when they relayed the message to me left on the phone (it's their message thing), so as far as I know they might be offering me a job. Now I did some research (a quick Google search) and apparently NY Life is a life insurance company. I have no clue what life insurance is exactly, but I cannot figure out what on earth they think I could possibly do for them at an entry-level position when all I'm qualified to do is cashier and push carts. Of course, my family doesn't care. See, I'm the lazy child of the family, who's in college, doesn't know what to do with his life, cause his psychosocial development was stunted by those around him when he grew up, the same old story that we hear again and again that nobody wants to actually solve. All my family wants is for me to get a job because we live in Connecticut, a state with a bunch of Anglicized Native American place names and taxes that make sure to keep Bill Gates far away. I got fired from the first job I ever had after working there over a year, so how on earth am I going to look to any potential employers? To be honest, I'm not a Type A go-get-em optimist personality, which means I'm the other half that doesn't get hired by big tie-wearing businessmen. And frankly, I was heavily influenced by the generation that views corporations as soulless. I need money. But I'm too scared to get a job. And these people are not going to hire me if I'm not perfect. But just what on earth could they possibly expect me to do for them? What qualifications do they somehow think I have? Did they somehow misread my resume and think I'm capable of functioning in real life society? Should I call these people back, and risk being humiliated and reduced to a child again, or should I risk getting thrown out of my house and home by my uncaring, utilitarian family?