Grown up Children

By Gabs
@gabs8513 (48710)
United Kingdom
May 9, 2007 2:51pm CST
This Discussion has just been inspired by a Discussion a dear Friend did My Children are both grown up now they have left School, they Have a Job, one is 23 and the other 20. When they left School I cried. I cried because my Babies had grown up. They did not need me as much anymore as they used to. When my Son started working away I cried every Monday when I had to drop him of I hated not having one of my Kids at home. I knew though that I had to let go no matter what. Then it was time for my Girl to leave School, I cried again, there was my youngest Baby grown up. Ever since then every year on their Birthday my eyes fill with tears, because the memory is still so fresh in my mind when these little Miracles where born, and how happy they made me. When each child was born I made a promise to them The Promise was, I will always love them, protect them to the best of my ability, show them the right way to Life, to always be there for them (which I hope I was), to make sure that they become decent and loving Adults, to cherish them, appreciate them every Day of my Life and to lock them in my Heart forever I have done all that as best as I could, my Kids have always come first to me. I hope that I have kept these promises in their eyes to. No matter how old they are, they will always be my Babies and I will carry on guiding them as much as I can Now to the question to Mums or Dads whose children are grown up or nearly grown up How do you feel about them being grown up? Do you still see them as your Babies? Do you remember the Day you first held them, Specially on their Birthdays? I know I do and that Happy Memory will stay with me forever as they are my Miracle.
13 people like this
26 responses
@weemam (13377)
9 May 07
yes my friend I do , My sons are now 44,41 and 27 and yet I can still see so clear the day the three of them first went to school , I cried the day my eldest went to school , he told me he would be al right and just to go home , I cried more because I thought he didn't need me any more lol , the middle was the same but I expected it , My 3rd as you know has CP and we had to fight for him to go to mainstream school and we won and he and his friend were the first 2 pupils in Scotland with CP to go directly into mainstream school . it was an exceptional day as when he was born we were told he wouldn't live and if so he would be a vegetable and be lifted and layed all his life ; well to day he has his HND in computing and doing 2 university courses so yes my friend I still remember so clearly and you should be proud too of your beautiful children and all that you went through to have them , you are one brave lady and I am proud to call you my friend xx
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
9 May 07
I cried to when they started School when Mel eventually started I felt lost lol When I came home from Work there was no Kids to greet me till I picked them up from the Bus You know who it is down to that your youngest did so well don't you You and your Family and you have every right to be proud of that I really admire you as I can well imagine it was not easy but you all Did it including your Youngest So the same goes back to you You are a strong brave Family and you know I am so happy to have you as a Friend xxxx
3 people like this
@weemam (13377)
9 May 07
Thanks for that pal , we are like a mutual admiration society , luv ya xx
4 people like this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
9 May 07
Yes we are love you to xxx
3 people like this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
9 May 07
Awwwww Gabs you are a great mom but as you would say mum.LOL And they cherish you too. They will always be your babies. Thats so sweet. Yes you have 2 miracles no 3 miracles your Gissis mom too.LOL
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
9 May 07
Yes Terry I do have 3 Miracles actually I have 4 in a sense as my Sons Fiancee is a lovely Girl to and she says I am Mum no 2 lol
3 people like this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
9 May 07
Thats so nice for you Gabs. Are they getting married?
4 people like this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
9 May 07
Lol no not yet and I don't think it will be for a while
2 people like this
• United States
9 May 07
This is very hard for me, as my child is on her own, and we are not close. She hates me, and I don't know why. I have always been there for her, loved her, helped her, encouraged her and so forth. She is controling, and did not like that I remarried. I think that all mothers feel like you to a degree, as it is natural to always regard them that way. I think that you are very blessed.
4 people like this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
9 May 07
Margie I am so sorry to hear this I really am I can not imagine how much that hurts you I really can't We have had our Differences the Kids and me but it always gets sorted straight away as we hate falling out I hope your Daughter comes round and realizes that she only has one Mum and that Life is to short Hugs to you Sweet Lady
3 people like this
@dlkuku (1936)
• United States
9 May 07
My son moved out of state when he was barely out of high school in 2000, my older daughter graduated a year later, so I was hard hit. There is a seven year difference between my older daughter and my youngest daughter, so she is still at home. But when we moved here, she lived with her dad for a few months, and it was aweful! I think the most beautiful moments that took me back in time to when I held my babies the first time was when I held each of my grandchildren for the first time. I have trunk in my bedroom filled with all kinds of things from my kids, baby clothes, school work, girl scout stuff, scrap books, and pictures they drew. Several months after we moved here, I opened it, and as I went through the stuff, I couldn't help but cry from missing them all so much.
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
9 May 07
Awwwww Sweetie I am so sorry and I know it must hurt
1 person likes this
9 May 07
As I wipe a tear from my eye, I also have such wonderful memories of when my kids were little. I work with 3-5 year olds and I often think about when they were both this age. It does make me pine for the old days and makes me realise how quickly the years have gone. I have done some collages of photos of them in my toilet and I often sit there and look them over for ages, remembering when they were little. Sometimes I have a tear roll down my face, as I know those days can never come back. My daughter has left school now and is having great difficulty in finding a job as she dropped out of college. This, I find sad as she should of stuck it out to make better of her life, but telling a 17 yr old what is best for them is not what they want to hear unfortunately. I just hope she comes to her senses soon. As for my son, he is doing his SATs and will be finishing school in 2 yrs time. It does not seem possible, it feels like only yesterday I was taking them to their first day at nursery. I was in a sweet shop the other day and a mum was negotiating with her kids what sweets they could have. It brought back so many memories of when I used to do this with mine after school. Now I get, 'lend me a tenner, I need this or that'. Oh for the days when a milky bar was all they wanted!!LOL Thanks for this discussion Gabs, its great to get a chance to share our memories of our beautiful children, and yes they will be our babies till the day we leave this earth. +
3 people like this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
9 May 07
You are welcome Sweetie and yes it is good to relive it As for telling a 17 year old lol well don't we know that they know better I hope she finds a job soon though
3 people like this
@Augustta (1860)
• Poland
9 May 07
My daughter is still little but i guess i am same with you. I have a strong powerfull relation with her and some things is of normality with me and her and...i thing touch paranormal ...but i will not say here some people will thing i am crazy... I love her with all my power and i wish to be the best ...and i try to be the best...and i guess as long as she love me and call me "cool mom" i am ok... I cried when she was far for me and i took her after 2 weeks and i promiced me i will never let her go more than 2 weeks from me ..no matter what... Also when she go in first year at school i had to bit my tongue because i cried also thinking she is mine...my little miracle... Thank you for this post,you are so good in make us to be more good and more sensitive with your posts...congratulation,gabs! augusta
3 people like this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
9 May 07
Thank you Sweetie and keep that good relationship going believe me it is good My Kids and I have always been very close and still are
2 people like this
@Katlady2 (9920)
• United States
9 May 07
I've got a couple more years before my daughter is old enough to move out (she's 16). But just the thought of it makes me sad and ready to cry. My kids are my life, and I would do anything for them. I made the same promises you did, and I will keep them until the end. I have also told my children that no matter how old they are they will always be my babies. It's funny to watch my 14 year old son when I say that. He gets a cute little grin on his face, rolls his eyes, and says "Yeah, I know mom...when I'm 60 I'll still be your baby!" LOL
3 people like this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
9 May 07
Yes Kat I knew that you would be the same to It is awful for us when we see them grow and next thing we know they have a Family of their own lol Love and Hugs to you
2 people like this
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
9 May 07
YES! YES!! YE! did i say yes?? Lol I miss my little ones. My babies who used to use babies talk. Like wittle for little. and yeayo for yellow. it was just so cute. I miss giving them hugs and kisses. I miss seeing their faces light up on Christmas. I miss it all. Hopefully I can see it again when i have grandchildren. I cried when my older boys left. I cry when i think of times past. But i know i did my best to raise them and they are wonderful boys. Thanks for bringing me tears again gabs lol
3 people like this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
9 May 07
Well Snow that makes 2 of us lol as I had Tears to when I wrote it Like you my Children are my Pride and joy and have turned out decent People
2 people like this
@mummymo (23707)
9 May 07
Well angel gabs you know that my kids are not grown up yet - no matter what they think! I don't care what age hey get to they will always be my babies and I hope I do as good job as you have! xxx
3 people like this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
9 May 07
I am positive that you will there is no doubt on that at all as you are a lovely and caring and loving Person so I know you will no doubt about it Love you xxxx
2 people like this
@nannacroc (4049)
9 May 07
My girls will always be my babies, even though two of them have children of their own. I still do all I can to help and protect them and even my husband knows that if ever I have a choice between him and them, he has no chance.
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
9 May 07
Our Kids I think will always be our Babies no matter what And we do everything to protect them
2 people like this
@brendalee (6083)
• United States
9 May 07
I only have one son and he is 22 now. I often sit and think about the days of his childhood. I miss them terribly. I completely remember the day he was born and I even think about it at the exact time of birth. My son lived with me for awhile along with his girlfriend and their first son. I had a full house but I loved it. Then the day came and he wanted to move out and get a place of his own. I cried. I didn't want him to go but I knew it was time. But I always tell him that he can always come back home if he ever needs to and of course his girlfriend and their now two sons. I raised him on my own and I think I did a pretty darn good job.
3 people like this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
9 May 07
Brenda I have no doubt at all that you did a great Job I actually moved away further down South as I always wanted to live down South and also it is a lot better here for me with my Health But yes it is hard My Son, my Daughter and my Sons Fiancee live in the House up North
2 people like this
@Darkwing (21588)
9 May 07
Yes, Gabs, I still remember all those times but both my kids are really grown up and have families of their own. If ever they get into problems, they want to sort them out themselves, and they don't want me to help, in fact, they are quite independent. Fair enough... I want to help but have to step back and let them sort things for themselves. They have their pride and so do I let them go, and I let them make their own mark in life. I know they love me, and I know they'll do anything for me. In my eyes, I did a good job, and I know they'll always be there. Brightest Blessings, my dear friend. x
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
9 May 07
There is no doubt that you did a good Job Sweet A loving and caring Person like you Love and Hugs xxx
1 person likes this
• United States
9 May 07
Yes my kids are grown and gone and with children of their own. It sometimes makes me sad. But they are great kids and loving parents. I think we did pretty good at rasing them. They are loving and caring young adults. We had so much fun when they were little and each Birthday was special. My Son is 31 and My Daughter is 21. My Daughter has a 2 year old girl and it warms my heart to see and hear the things she does with her daughter. It reminds me of me. lol So I guess they do listen to all my Motherly advice. lol My Son is going to be a first time Daddy in Oct. I just cant wait to see how he does. lol I know he will do good though. I still call both my kids my "babies" they dont much like it but I still do it! I want to wish all the Mommys out there A Very Happy Mommys day! And to the Dads who are just like Mommys! Have a great day all Lilac54
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
9 May 07
Thank you Lilac for your lovely words
1 person likes this
@tess1960 (2386)
• United States
9 May 07
Mine are 31 and 25 now. My oldest and I went through a lot of hardship together and yet today we are close. My youngest was our little Angel. A gift so to speak, is how we thought of her. I can still remember how my oldest held her so gently and said "can we keep her?". Oh she cherished that little girl, until, "mom, will she ever stiop crying?" The day she went to kindergarten my oldest was just as fussy over her as I was. I had made them amtching book bags. They posed for a picture on the front porch, and I cried all morning. The school called to tell me my oldest would not leave her little sisters classroom. I had to go over and reassure her she would be safe. We lived across the street from the school at that time. When my okldest told me at age 14 "I hate you and I never want to see you again", well, harsh words from a troubled teen and I felt as if she had torn my heart out and kicked me in the gut at the same time. Thankfully, we got over those days. They do not stand out in my mind as much as the firsts, first smile, first kiss, first word and the first (and only so far) grandchild she placed into my arms. I think what I miss the most is my little angel, when she was about 6-10 or 11 years old. We were best friends then. She would do anything and everything with me. I was her companion, friend, confidant. They grow up so fast, I miss that little girl. Now you have me sitting in tears. Maybe I'll go call her now.
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
9 May 07
Tess I think all Teenage Girls go through that I hate you my Girl did but as you say that is a phase We know they don't mean it but it hurts Those things now actually make me smile as it was part of the growing up I am sorry Sweetie I didn't mean to give you tears but I know I had tears in my eyes as I wrote this because it is so hard to accept that those Days are gone but I am also happy and proud that my Babies are what they are
1 person likes this
@royal52gens (5380)
• United States
9 May 07
My oldest daughter is 27 and my son is 25. I often reflect on old memories of them when they were young children. I have lots of pictures also. It is actually quite nice when they come home for a visit or for dinner.
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
9 May 07
Hi there Royals Yes I bet it is nice I live 3 1/2 hours away from my Kids now but I go to stay with them for a few Days every 2 Months and they come to see me and it works out fine
1 person likes this
• United States
9 May 07
My son had this discussion not to long ago about the fact that he is a father, a husband and yes he is my son but no longer my baby. I grinned at him and mentioned to him that maybe to him he is no longer my baby and I looked up at him (since he is taller than me, I am 5 ft 4 in.) and commented to him that when he 99 years old he will still be my baby. I also told him that he will know what I mean when his kids get old enough to leave home and go out on their own. They are still your babies no matter how old they get. I grinned at him and made comment so live with it. He started laughing and told me once again I had the last word spoken. Moms rule! I also remember the day he was born. My husband had to miss his football game (poor baby) and he came into the delivery room with me. My husband said that he would recommend that all fathers do this because it shows just how much a women goes through to birth the child that both have concieved. I remember looking at my son and thinking what a wonderful gift that God has given to me and Tobie (my husband).
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
9 May 07
Lol yes they do look at us funny when we say that but to be honest I think they appreciate it because just with those words they know they are still loved and cared for like they where when they where little Mum is always there
1 person likes this
@villageanne (8554)
• United States
10 May 07
Gabs, You are going to make me cry! My daughters are raised, married and moved away. My oldest is 27 and my youngest is 25. I remember well the day each of them started school. In my mind, I can still them. They looked so beautiful and so tiny that I wanted to go with them to keep them safe. I remember the joy each day when they would arrive home from school. I remember the pride and sadness that I felt when they graduated from high school and that same pride and sadness when they got there major and then masters in college. Now my oldest is a mother of two and it is a nine hour drive to visit her. My youngest is married and it is a three hour drive to visit her. Needless to say, I dont see as much of them as I would like. I am very proud of my daughters and their accomplishments in life and yet I feel sad and I do miss them so much. Now you have done it......you have made me cry. Was that your plan all along?
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
10 May 07
Awwwwwwwwww Anne I am so sorry No it was not my Intention, actually I just thought it would be nice to share the Memories of our lovely Kids, I had tears in my eyes to when I wrote it Sweetie as it is all so fresh, the laughter, the Tears and the Happy voices I will just have to wait for the Grandchildren now lol so I can hold and cuddle a small bundle again
1 person likes this
• United States
10 May 07
I have grandchildren but they live nine hours away. Family should never be that far away!
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
10 May 07
No I agree with you they shouldn't Sweetie as you won't see them as often
1 person likes this
@disvachic (10120)
• United States
10 May 07
Mine are not grown yet only 12,11 and 9.I still remember when they were babies.All 3 had a head full of hair,big brown eyes and so pretty.I love with all my heart and will do anything for them.When they are grown I'll still see them as my babies to.Your children have a special mother and Im sure they appreciate you as much as you do them.
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
10 May 07
Sweetie it was you who inspired this Discussion with yours about Children graduating and thank for that as it was nice to relive it all again Big Hugs to you
1 person likes this
@disvachic (10120)
• United States
10 May 07
This is so kool.I have another friend who started a discussion about her son graduating and it was started the same time as mine.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
18 May 07
My daughter is still young, but I can relate to your feeling Gabs. Even now, she is four only, I do sometimes think of her growing up, having boyfriends,~lol getting married, ssiigghh..I don't know what I will do when my daughter won't be a baby anymore. She will always be my baby no matter what, even when the time comes she won't need me. And I will cherish all our memories especially now while she is still my baby. And I pray too that she'll grow up well, so I won't worry or feel sad too much, when the time comes she has her own life. (^^,)
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
19 May 07
Sweetie one thing I have to tell you is that you will always worry about her no matter what and it is worse when they are older
• India
12 May 07
You are very truly representing the same feeling for all the parents feel the same when the miracle came into my life too!! yes my daughter is also 22 and i feel the same as you are feeling only that I dont know how i will cope with the fact that she will be away from me to earn her living in a different place all by herself but she will always be my princess & my precious baby who i love unconditionally I wil carry on guiding her I always feel her necessity in my life she has taught me lots of things & sometimes my teacher too in many ways !!! i love her for the way she is
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
12 May 07
As long as you are guiding her she will always be close to your Heart no matter where they are Sweet they are with you my Children are and they live 3 1/2 hours away