Neighbors borrowing
By worldwise1
@worldwise1 (14885)
United States
May 13, 2007 5:17pm CST
A young couple who moved into my building about a year ago became sort of friendly toward me. We were not on a visiting back and forth basis, just would stop and chat sometimes. Recently the youn woman knocked on my door and asked to borrow a food item. As I was just getting ready to walk out the door, I gave her all that I had and told her she could take out as much as she needed and return the rest to me the next day. The upshot of the whole thing is that a couple of weeks later I was cooking and needed this item returned. I saw her and asked for it, and she said she was about to go to the store and would buy me some. It has been a couple of months now and they have avoided me like the plague. Was I wrong to ask her to return what she had borrowed?
15 people like this
30 responses
@unusualsuspect (2602)
• United States
13 May 07
You were in the right to ask, since it had been a while. Just consider yourself lucky that you only got taken advantage of once. With that kind of person, if you hadn't asked to be repaid, they probably would have tried to keep borrowing from you. Asking told her that you're not a sucker, so she probably isn't interested in knowing you any more.
@balthazar_196 (566)
•
13 May 07
No you wernt wrong they are in the wrong for borrowing and not returning, i would just keep mentioning it, if they run you just shout at them and knock on their door regularly asking for the item they will soon get so peeved that they will give it to you i hope! But still they are verymuch in the wrong and you should put your foot down!!! G'luck :)
5 people like this
@deebomb (15304)
• United States
13 May 07
Your young neighbor was in the wrong to not return the item as soon as she was finished with it. I think that they are now embarrassed and that is why they are avoiding you. They keep forgetting to get some to give back to and now don’t know what to do. No it was not wrong of you to ask for it back.
4 people like this
@wifeofharvey (1156)
• United States
14 May 07
we have had neighbors borrow things and not return them. If you can afford to just let this food item go, then please do so, but never lend anything to this couple again.
We have found the best way for us to handle borrowing with neighbors is to tell them the first time, that if we have to come looking for the item in return there will never be another loan given.
Harsh maybe but it does save a lot of problems.
@PurpleParker (81)
• United States
14 May 07
I don't think you were wrong asking for the item back..it is actually yours!
Good thing it was just a food item that was borrowed instead of money..or something you really need back!
2 people like this
@chertsy (3798)
• United States
14 May 07
I think I wouldn't let them borrow anything again. That's just simply rude on there part. I would also tell the other neighbors about what happened so they wouldn't be cursed by them. Luckily they borrowed a food item and nothing that would have set you back in a lot of money. Down the road when they ask to borrow something or need something, make sure they can hear that your home, and just don't answer the door. Or answer the door and say yea I have that but I just don't feel like lending it out today. Catch me on a day when I care and shut the door. Or you can say, I'm sorry but I only let people borrow stuff that actually returns it and shut the door.
2 people like this
@jeweledbluerose (3061)
• United States
14 May 07
You weren't wrong to have her return the unused portion after all that is what was agreed upon, but in those situation where someone has asked me for a food item I will only give them what they need. So in the future it won't be necessary to worry about getting back the unused portion.
@crazynurse (7482)
• United States
14 May 07
Dictionary definition of borrow (thanks Dictionary.com!) "To take or obtain with the promise to return the same or an equivalent." If that is the definition of 'borrow,' than no, you were not incorrect to ask for a return! Besides, it is also good MANNERS to return what one borrows. I have a feeling that they 'are avoiding you like the plague' due to embarrassment!
1 person likes this
@winky73 (1404)
• United States
14 May 07
I would not say it was wrong to ask for it....but really how importend was this particualr item to you?You may have put her on the spot just a bit by asking for a replacement.My neighbours have borrowed things from me before....but as long it's just food or even smokes....I don't expect to get it back and everything els they have used of mine...I always get it back and never have to ask for it.
If you really want the item back.....go to her and ask if you can borrow some from her since you gave her the last of what you had.
If you are worried about not getting things returned....then next time just say you don't have any.This way you don't have that problem.
1 person likes this
@Modestah (11179)
• United States
14 May 07
oh dear, the poor thing must be unable to purchase the replacement due to finances or perhaps a controlling man in her life? and she is too embarrased so she avoids you rather than having to explain.
No, you are not wrong for having asked. I think it is perfectly acceptable that you asked, especially considering the nature and terms of the loan to begin with.
maybe you can ask her if there is anything you can do for her (besides lending something) maybe she is stuck in a difficult situation that she can not find her way out of.
1 person likes this
@gardengrrl (1445)
• United States
14 May 07
They're just rude! It's one thing to not return a cup of sugar (for example), but quite another to keep the rest of the 5 pound sack! I like what wifeofharvey said, about being clear when you lend something. I think that you could say that in an honest, non-offensive way. I'm not sure that I would persist in bugging them to return it, if it wasn't something very expensive. It's their loss, because old-fashioned good neighbors are very rare in our selfish society today!
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23706)
•
14 May 07
No I don't think you were wrong and I would say that maybe they had just forgotten, if they had not avoided you since! I have made it my own thing that I do not lend anything that I cannot live without as too often people borrow things that they do not return! I am really bad for forgetting about things but if I were reminded I would return or replace them straight away!
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
14 May 07
No you were not wrong, it depends on how the neighborhood is buildt. Here people borrow stuff from eachother all the time, cup of milk or suger and so on. Never give it back, however when they need something they will borrow it..
These people obviously know that they are doing wrong though since they are avoiding you...
1 person likes this
@texasclassygal (5305)
• United States
14 May 07
No, you were not wrong to ask for it back, obviously your neighbor is a taker and not a giver and hopefully you learned your lesson when she asks to borrow again, which she probably will, in time.
1 person likes this
@onabreak2 (1161)
• United States
14 May 07
Well at least now they probably wont ask to borrow anything more from you. Be happy it wasnt money and rack it up as a cheap leasson learned.
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
14 May 07
If you had asked for it to be returned once they were done with it then they should of returned it to you. My neighbor usually asks for chicken peices when she can't be bothered getting it herself at the store or asking her husband to drive and go and get one for them. She pays for the chicken peices but that means one less food item in the fridge and it also means when I need chicken peices I have to go out and buy more :( Sometimes I think I am just TOO NICE LOL
1 person likes this
@stormygrl (761)
• United States
14 May 07
Did you get the item she was going to buy to replace it at the store that day ? I probably wouldn't have asked for it back but I guess if i was in the middle of cooking and needed it ( a spice) I would have just run out and got more. I had a neighbor who would borrow full boxes of macaroni and never return or replace anything. Luckily they sold and moved. I would just say hi and smile and let it go, she's probably embarrassed about it.
1 person likes this
@morefashion (54)
• China
14 May 07
I think she didn't understand what you said "return the rest to
me next day".She thought you ask her to return what she had borrowed,but she didn't want to return all things she had borrowed.
1 person likes this
