separation anxiety

@stacyv81 (5904)
United States
May 24, 2007 10:26am CST
my daughter is 8 months and has severe separation anxiety, with me, I cant even walk out of a room out of her eyesight without her crying. I have tried to get people to watch her because I think she needs to be separated from me to get over it, but no one can deal with her nonstop crying when I am not with her. What do I do?
3 responses
@lillake (1633)
• United States
24 May 07
Forcing her seperation will only make things worse. At 8 months old she won't "get over it" but instead only feel clingier to you for fear that you will leave again. This is a perfectly common phase for all children, and one that will pass soon enough. Staying by her side will ease her fears and help her to be more secure that mommy will always be there. Once she is assured that you will not leave her then she will be more at ease to spending time apart. Please do not force her seperation, her intense crying means that she still very much needs you. She is at a delicate stage where she is begining to understand herself as a seperate being and being to grasp object perminance. As she grows she will be better able to understand these new deas and will be more than happy to go on her own. Please do not force her to grasp concepts that she is not ready for.
@HighReed1 (1126)
• United States
25 May 07
Just a thought... Have you tried leaving the room (to do whatever), letting her cry 'til you are done and then going back in? That way she can see you will always come back. It might help ease the seperation a little. My oldest had the same problem. We wanted a little 'adult time' and grandma wanted to spend time with him. We dropped him off, gave him hugs and kisses and left. Grandma got him to stop crying and he was fine after that.
• United States
25 May 07
Separation anxiety is normal at this age, and more separation won't help her get over it. It may actually make her more insecure. If you support her through it, she will become more secure that you'll return and less afraid of separation in a few months. When my kids go through this phase, I try not to leave them unless it's necessary. If it is, I leave them with someone they know well, leave a comfort object with them, and try to be patient with the tears. It does get better, I promise.