If you caught your partner cheating

@winterose (39887)
Canada
May 25, 2007 4:09pm CST
If you caught your partner cheating with another woman or man, would you divorce or leave him/her? Would you forgive? Under what circumstances would you forgive? I know if I found my partner cheating it would devastate me. I may or may not forgive him depending on how sincere he was in his explanation to me. Like if he begged me to give him another chance and vowed he would never do it again. But the law would be layed down on what he could or couldn't do from then on. And he would know if he did it again there would not be another chance. Now that is if he had a one night stand, but if it was a different slur of women, or an ongoing affair with just one woman, I would leave him. He could have her or them but he couldn't have me too. please answer the question fully for best response.
6 people like this
33 responses
• Philippines
25 May 07
I caught my ex cheating on me and the most interesting part was, the girl used to be our classmate for 3 years during my college days.We used to be the talk of the town that time.My friends really got angry with the girl because she used to be low profiled and quiet.Anyways, we both have our own family and I know my hubby won't cheat on me or else I'll return him to his mother and never see her daughter!Kidding aside, I'll only give him 2 chances and when he do it again, that's the end of our relationship.
3 people like this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
25 May 07
Well I was the stupid one I am afraid I only caught him once but it was going on a lot I ignored it to scared to say anything as I was a very frightened Person. 6 years ago I had enough but there was a lot of other things to 21 years I was the fool
3 people like this
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
25 May 07
i don't know what i will do as i never been in that situation before... but i think i will leave him as i can't stand the feelings of being cheated... but when the time comes, i might be able to forgive him as i love him so much and i always remember God's love to me to forgive my sins... so i really don't know... but of course i can only give him one more chance... i think everybody deserves a chance... we all make mistakes and we want to be forgiven...
3 people like this
@lalav1 (1052)
• United States
25 May 07
If I heard about it and it was a one night stand I would be really ticked off and probably want to make my partner agree to go to counseling before I could ever trust him or forgive and feel assued it wouldn't happen again. If I knew it was ongoing, I would tell him not to let the door hit him on the way out of my house. If I actually caught them in the act, I don't think I could deal with that. Hearing about something and seeing it is quite two different things to me.
• United States
25 May 07
I don't think that my husband has ever cheated on me. We have talked about what we would do if either of us ever did and we both kind of agree that we probably would not divorce. It would not devastate me. We would get through it somehow. We are all only human and as humans we do falter at times, and no, I have never cheated on my husband. We are both very forgiving people.
3 people like this
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
25 May 07
Hello,winterose,I would leave if my partner cheated me,I would not give him any chance if he got another woman outside, I thought it would not be wise to forgive him as if he got caught once,he would have cheat you again and again,the trust had been lost. In fact,I had experience it before,my ex-boyfriend had an affair with another woman and i left him after i knew that even he begged me to give him one more chance.
@jewel76 (2305)
• Canada
29 May 07
I'd be devastated and then furious for not seeing the signs. I'd probably leave him, no matter how heartbroken it'd make me, because once a cheater, always a cheater. Maybe, if it did happen to me, i'd act differently, but until it does, which i hope it never does, that's what i think i'd do.
2 people like this
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
26 May 07
If I caught my partner cheating on me, I would definitely divorce him. I have been cheated on way too many times in the past and took the guys back only for them to do it to me again. There is no reason for someone to cheat on someone else. Leave the person first and then go do your thing. My belief any more is once a cheater always a cheater and they will do it again if they have the chance. I have been through that many times in the past.
@healer (1779)
• India
25 May 07
unfaithful - a scene from the movie unfaithful
Am still unmarried and i don't have experience but at the moment i cannot forgive him if he cheats on me. I have a boy friend and i am very faithful to him, we are talking about getting married soon but if i meet such situations after or before we get married i cannot bear to be together for even a single minute. I saw a lot of families into such situations but they cannot divorce and i guess that might be for the sake of kids. There are certain situations like we haven't slept for days as he is busy with his work or on official trip, i won't mind if he sleeps with some hookers keeping the fact that he should not let me hear it.
3 people like this
@liranlgo (5752)
• Israel
26 May 07
winter i can tell you only one thing: i would throw him out of the house as fast as i can. I would not want to hear from him or see him again. People do know my values, and they do know that this would be the result if they cheat on me. There are no excuses here.
• United States
29 May 07
I don't think it's a forgivable offense; your partner begging you to understand or take him back would be nothing but a reflex response to having been caught in the act. My man would be out the door and his belongings would be all over the front yard for him to pick up at his convenience. There is no acceptable excuse for cheating on your spouse or significant other.
2 people like this
@okwusman1 (2247)
• Abuja, Nigeria
26 May 07
i will not take it likely with her. i will stop eating her food for the time being untill i file a divorce. i cannot cope with infidelity no matter how she appologized.
• Philippines
26 May 07
If i caught my husband doing this, i will make sure the girl will be given the beating of her life! joke.. honestly i cant think of what i can do. imagine giving all your love to your partner and he will cheat you in return. a good wife doesnt deserve it. i will leave him, file a case to him and the other woman. it will be rough for my children (of ever) but i dont want to live with a man who is unfaithful.... i just hope this never happens
@Gorgeous24 (1091)
• United States
25 May 07
I have never been in the positon of my boyfriend cheating on me BUT I can say that if I ever found out my man was cheating on me I would say Ima leave him for good BUT I couldnt be 100% sure of that. The reason I say I couldnt be 100% sure is because YOU NEVER KNOW UNTIL YOUR IN THAT POSITION. I could say a million times I would leave him but when it comes down to it..I dont know what I would do. Everyone has their own opinions on this issue but no one can judge anyones choice until they had it happen to them.
3 people like this
@DavidReedy (2378)
• United States
26 May 07
I would forgive if she... made a mistake.. You know, we got into a fight, she was hurting, had a drink, some smooth talker comes along... Something like that, is forgiveable, because humans aren't perfect. Now, an affair is a completely different thing...The repeated act, completely denotes intention and a lack of consideration for me on an ongoing basis... there's a really big difference to me, between a mistake... and an affair.
@JcHitomi (100)
• Nepal
26 May 07
Based of my experienced, most of boyfriends is been cheating on me, I realized when I caught them having another gurl, they will just ask forgiveness from me and swear not to do it again but promises are made to be broken, they keep doing that again so I just get tired of forgiving their mistakes. I give my whole trust to a relationship and with that problem ex. "having an affair" is just so difficult for me thats why when I heard, suspect if shes cheating on me, I confront him right and if I feel that he is been lying, no matter how I loved that person so much I cant hold on the relationship without total commitment and sincerity. I dont know but for me finding another gurl is just a one way that the guy loses his interests/ love/like on you.
2 people like this
@Calais (10893)
• Australia
26 May 07
I couldnt say right then and there that its over. I would have to know the reasons why. And a very good explaination. It would take a very long time for me to forgive because I hold major grudges and just cant let go.
2 people like this
• United States
26 May 07
If I will caught my husband cheating, off with his head...lol. Kidding aside, I will be out of the door with my children in tow. I am not a very forgiving person when it comes to that because I told my husband from the very start that if he doesn't want me anymore, let me know because I won't feel bad. But cheating behind my back, he shouldn't do because he wouldn't want to know what kind of woman I am if am scorned. He knew I got the sixth sense too so I told him I will know everything..=) Frankly speaking, I have no qualms to say that I know my husband won't cheat on me because he knows I will return him to his mother and second, our family is his only social life. I am not saying am not encouraging him to go out with his friends but he just like to be at home after work. If he is working, he will be calling me on his phone, etc. He told me that he got enough of that kind of life when he was on his 20's and he had enough of that. If he cheats he knows he will have nobody because his family told him to find another family if he would make me cry. Sweet inlaws huh? lol
2 people like this
@easyzheng (666)
• China
26 May 07
If such thing happened, I would not give him any more chance if I were sure that he/she did have affair with another person. No matter whether it's only a night affair or a long-term relationship, I could not persuade myself to forgive him/her as what he/she did had already hurted my feeling and destroy my love to him/her. Whatever explanation he/she gave could not remedy the pain he/she gave me. The only thing I could do was to forever leave him/her.
2 people like this
@desty_1 (26)
• United States
26 May 07
I'm pretty easy going, but in all seriousness, I would totally try to beat the hell out of the guy. I say try, because I really don't think I could do anything at all, I would be in shock. It would go beyond hurt. Heck, I'm kinda at a loss as to what to write beyond this. The concept is totally alien to me.
2 people like this