Will far-distanced relationship work?

Malaysia
May 29, 2007 12:49am CST
hm.. now i'm having a serious relationship with someone but he went to korea to pursue his study.. and im now in malaysia..so i would like to ask you guys, do u believe in far-distanced relationship? have u ever faced this thing?? how do we ensure that our relationship will last? will this work? i really2 in love with that guy and i need ur opinions.... THANKS =)
25 responses
@maean_19 (4660)
• Philippines
29 May 07
Of course it will work depending on how u make the relationship work. My boyfriend is currently working in Saudi Arabia right now and I was left here in the Philippines. We talk everyday over the phone and email each other everyday.
• Malaysia
29 May 07
really? wow... i'm so impressed with ur word "everyday".... working in saudi arabia really will give u high pay so thats why he has no problem to call u everyday.. hehe
• Philippines
29 May 07
it really pays when you get to talk with each other 'everyday'. i've done that. it was expensive, yes, but the price is worth it... even more. you can talk through ym, it is cheaper and you can even see each other if you have a webcam. there are ways for lovers to communicate... there's a will, there's a way :)
• Philippines
29 May 07
the relationship will be based on how you will take care of it. yes, i have been in a long-distanced relationship and it worked for me. my then bf is now my husband. even after we got married, we were still separated by distance and the relationship even grew stronger and now that we are finally together, nothing can measure our happiness. first, make sure that ou have a constant communication. don't let distance a problem. you can talk with each other through the internet or through phone. tell each other what you feel, always be open. then trust... don't believe in what others might say. listen to your partner. and have faith that in the end, the two of you will be together.
• Malaysia
29 May 07
i really admire how u can actually take care of ur relationship until u both got married.. i think i'll do what u said.. HAVE TRUST.. u know what, i always listen from others.. i mean, whenever he couldnt afford to call me, my friends would say that he has already forgotten me and all such things.. but in fact, he's actually very busy with all his assignments.. hm.... thanks a lot for your useful advice =)
• Philippines
29 May 07
you expect a lot of those 'words' from people around you. don't worry becuase you yourself can feel if your partner is doing something else. it is best to be honest with each other :)
• India
29 May 07
it will depend on both of you, how far you want to continue your relation..... I feel that mostly such relation dont last for long..
• Malaysia
29 May 07
yup.. but i still hope that we'll last.. 2 of my bros ever faced the same thing too. they went study to japan and when they got back in malaysia, they got maried straight away with their gfs.. hee
• India
30 May 07
if it will last,,then well & good........ ..........good luck to you
• China
29 May 07
And the first of all,are u sure that boy is loving u just like you do?If you are loving each other,I think the distance is not a big problem!May be you should talk to him,knowing he thoughts and make your decision,that will be better I think~!
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
29 May 07
true. if it's really true love, distance won't matter. it will test you but your love for each other will win over the issue of distance. open communication is always important for a long lasting communication.
@toe_ster (771)
• United States
29 May 07
The best way I can say it is through a quote or saying I have heard. "Long distance relationships are like wind to a fire. It puts out the small ones but inflames the large ones. It can and does work for some. If the feelings are mutual and both are willing to put in the effort to make it work. If not then it wasn;t meant to be.
• Malaysia
29 May 07
hm.. yea... i guess that's right... and we have to take it this way too : if he's fated for me, then nothing could ever change the fact....
@mybizla (136)
• Malaysia
23 Jul 07
you need to be cool, are you still there?
• United States
29 May 07
Hello, I really belive if you are both serious about being with each other then you both can make it work. talking and writing to each other are the key thing to make things work. being aprt is very hard i will tell you that but if u are strong and stay strong for each other things will work out in the end Trisha
@joyskie23 (174)
• Philippines
29 May 07
Well with the power and the magic of love, if the two of you really meant to be even how far your distance is you will still be together in the end.It happened to me, i met my one great love when i was in 4th year high school.We promised not to leave each other and always be together until the time come that he has to go to US for his mom petitioned him and will stay there for good.My whole world fell down as if darkness comes my way and felt so alone and lonely thinking that this is our end and i would never see him again.We lost our communication but after 10 years he came back.And he came back for me...
@tonixxx (358)
29 May 07
I believe that you should concentrate on the times you have together and not worry about the times you are apart. Having such alot of time away from each other may stop the relationship going stale and stop either of you from taking the other for granted. You will be able to appreciate the time you have together and will therefore enjoy it more. So long as you share a bond and have the basics for a relationship, love, trust and respect for each other, you will have no problems.
29 May 07
I think it depends how long you've been with the person and how strong it's been while you were with eachother. If you've not been together for very long it makes sense if one or both of you lose interest after a long period of seperation. It's natural that this might happen. I've had 2 long-distance relationships, both of which did not work out, and everyone I've known who has had a long distance relationship has been unsuccessful at keeping it going for more than 1 or 2 years of being apart. And the pain of being away from someone you love is a big factor - is it worth it? is it affecting your work or your relationship with family and friends in a negative way? I think it's best to break it off before things get bad at all, and when the other half returns you can see if it's still the same as it always was or if you've both moved on. Sorry that's a very pesimistic response but it's my opinion at the moment. I do believe they can work if you've been together a long time and the realtionship is very strong and you can deal with being apart for that long. I hope it works out for you - it must be really difficult! Good luck to you both!
@vampoet (825)
• Singapore
29 May 07
My friend has had 2 boyfriends and they were both long distance relationship. To me, I need the personal touch, the physical contact, someone I can do lunch with at least once a week (if not everyday) so long-distance is out of the question for me. Again it depends. Is this someone you already knew before he/she moved off or did you start a relationship online? Therez just something creepy about having a relationship with a nickname and a display photo on msn etc...:p
• Philippines
29 May 07
it depends upon the lovers. if they really lover each other they can stand the distance between them. but if they cant resist the temptations, their relationship might be broken.
• United States
29 May 07
I understand your apprehension. I too have faced the same situation...my gf at the time was 8000 miles away. We kept our relationship up for 2 years before we finally united and now we are incredibly happy and she is now my wife and has been for almost 2 years. It does work! I know many many people in our situation that are now happily married. Hang in there! I won't say good luck because you won't need luck...you have something much more powerful. You have love!
@unuzzz (1274)
• Indonesia
29 May 07
hi tesllian.. hmm, i'm gonna say it won't work but it still depends on both of you, loyalty is the main part i think most of my friends who had a long-distance relationship experienced a bad relationship and always ended broke up one of them told me last sunday on the church, LOL this friend is a girl, her boy friend studied abroad in canada they commit a relationship and separated for almost 3 years and she broke up with her boy friend, because her boy friend has cheated her an unknown girl suddenly call my friend and claimed to be her boy-friend's girl friend my friend asked about this to her boy-friend and he admitted it, the relationship had been for at least 2 years my friend looked shocked and very angry i'm sure you are familiar with such story it's the most common thing to happen in long-distance relationships i also don't know what suggestion should i give to you since any suggestions seemed very cliche, just try to be loyal and honest to each other it'll keep you both together.. ^^ cheers
@Marie2473 (8517)
• Sweden
29 May 07
this is very individual. it did not work for me. After a bit over 3 years we were forced to go long distans and after a while we just broke up. I guess our love was not as strong as we though and there are temptations everywhere. I do know some that has worked it out though, so if u feel that he is right for you, definately try =)
@jolly223 (73)
• United States
29 May 07
It will take alot of dedication and work to make a relationship like this work.
@webbuff (926)
• Philippines
29 May 07
Yes ofcourse there is chance in anything. Yes, ive also faced that scenario and got successful with it. Long distance relationship required a lot of work and a lot of trust.. i mean a way lot of trust. We lasted ours 5 years and we still love each other.. constant communication is the key and also your goal as a partner. Goals can be like.. thats why we are far apart is to earn more money for our future... or trying to complete your dreams for both of you.. not for personal gain only. Yes.. its really hard.. so hard that you cant will have a lot of sleepless nights but hey we can do it.. believe in the relationship.. the relationship believe on you.
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
29 May 07
i won't speak about others but i will speak only about my relaitonship with my boyfriend. i met my boyfriend online and we started a relationship more than a year ago. and yup. it works for us. and our love for each other is growing stronger every day of our lives. i already got my visa and i will already be with my boyfriend sometime by june or july. i am from the philippines and he's from sweden. i think it all depends on the couples if they are really willing to make the relationship work. love is there whether the love is long distance or not.
@priya_ot (72)
29 May 07
hi!!! i feel mostly far distanced are very challenging form of relationships..unless and untill both of you are commited its pretty difficult to make them work
• Philippines
29 May 07
i believe that such relationships can work. even if it won't last, both of you can still exert effort to make it worth your while. :)