I lectured my friend about her newborn......

United States
May 29, 2007 6:12pm CST
I think my friend is mad at me because I kinda lectured her about taking him into the emergency room when she got sick. I can see if you are by yourself and there is no one else available to take care of him, but she had his godmother come to the hospital to be at her bedside instead of taking her newborn home with her so that he would not get an infection from being in the hospital. He was already sick because mom takes him out a lot instead of being assertive enough to tell her mom (who is using her and the baby as an alibi to get out of the house to be with the other man)that she will not take her baby out. I haven't spoken to her for 2 days and I think because I got upset at the fact that she took him to the hospital with her and he had someone that could keep him. I personally would not allow a child or infant sit in an emergency room if they are not the ones that are sick. Eventhough you may thing hospitals are clean, that doesn't mean that the staff is clean. Plus. what about the other people in the waiting area? The worst infection to get are the ones you get in the hospital and I learned this while going to school. Do any of you agree with me for getting upset or am I just overreacting?
8 responses
@Cassy1976 (796)
• Australia
30 May 07
I have to ask do you have any children? some people dont like to leave their children behind no matter where they go and if someone criticized me about what I do with my daughter I would not speak to them either, I dont mean to be rude but this is not your child it is hers and she has the right to make any decisions she likes for this child without you questioning her and lecturing her.
• Australia
30 May 07
See that would be the hard thing for me (if I was her) because even though you are a friend I would have still felt that you were attacking my parenting style and telling me how to raise my child, I am not trying to be horrible to you in any way so please dont get me wrong, but just giving my opinion on how I would have felt if someone did this to me
@wasim989 (2302)
• India
30 May 07
I think you just overreacted instead of lecturing you should have said the same thing in a different tone.
• United States
30 May 07
I wasn't really fussing at her, I was just really telling her that she shuldn't have allowed him to stay and the godmother was there to take care of him. I always speak to her in a way that she would listen to me and not just ignore me.
@beaniegdi (1966)
29 May 07
I think I would be more concered that the baby is already sick due to being used as an alibi for the grandmother who is apparently using the baby rather than thinking of the childs welfare. They sound like they are neglecting the babies welfare so I think this is the least of the childs worries. Maybe you are focusing on this as a way of trying to let your friend know that she is out of line and that her childs welfare should be paramount.
• United States
29 May 07
Trust me I have already talked to her about that but the problem with that is that her mother threatens her by saying she would kick her and that baby out. They stay in a rural area and I would take her in but I have a one bedroom apt with my husband and my 2 year old. I am more concerned that he is sick but I put her mom at fault for him being sick in the first place.
@evelynlyp (788)
• Japan
30 May 07
You are right she should have left the baby with the godmother. There are so much germs at the hospital. A lot of sick people go there. She should confront her mom her selfishness. I read that you said the mom threathened to kick her and the baby out if the mom doesn't have her way. Well she should threathen her mom that if her mom doesn't listen to her then she will threaten to tell. Then guess who will be in deep deep trouble? I am sure after the dad finds out that his wife is a cheater, he will take his daugther's side. Also I am sure that the godmother wouldn't mind putting up with her and her baby if she was kicked out. She can find some place else to stay meanwhile.
• United States
30 May 07
My mom does the same thing to her friend..LOL
@rapolu_cs (1184)
• India
30 May 07
I think what you have done is right with your friend and you were correct and i agree with your opinion.
@Foxxee (3653)
• United States
30 May 07
I don't think you are overreacting. You are trying to give her good advice. It's not your fault she didn't take to the advice. Sometimes parents just don't take the advice they need, even if they know it was good advice. It could be because they feel embarassed over the whole thing. Whatever the case is, you did your part and she shouldn't be upset with you over it. You did the right thing. And I agree with you, a lot of people think that hospitals are clean and safe, but it's actually not all that clean. I know when I had an open womb from my csection, I had a bad infections, they told me it might be best to go home and heal due to germs in the hospital. They got me a home nurse. Anyway, I get that you were trying to help. :) I hope your friend comes around and gets over this and starts maybe taking your advice.
@tonixxx (358)
30 May 07
I can understand your concerns, but she is a new mother and may be anxious about leaving baby, also i'm afraid as much as it pains me to say she will do as she pleases anyway. She is the baby's mum and she has baby's best interests at heart i am sure that she would not purposfully put the little one in any danger, but you have to take a back seat and allow her to find her feet and parent her child. Advice can be accepted or declined but this has tto be the receivers chioce, Perhaps next time you have an issue you sshould discuss it with her so that she can explain her thinking rather then lecturing. Sorry, but on the plus side you are obviously a good friend and care a great deal for both mother and child.