attitude

Canada
June 4, 2007 12:34pm CST
Hi, Ihave a 15 year old and she is imposible to live with. I dont understand why she has such an attitude. Does any body relate to what Im going through, any input would be greatly appreciated.
5 people like this
16 responses
• Philippines
6 Jun 07
oh yes, the agony of living with teens. my eldest is just 8 so im not in that stage yet. but i was once hard to live with. peer pressure played a major part. i dont get along quite well with my mom that time. it was like evrything was not allowed. parents dont really fit into the worlds of teenage life. i just wish my mom was a little more understanding before. so, be more understanding.
2 people like this
• Canada
8 Jun 07
Goodmorning..I will do my best to listen and to be understanding ,but it's hard......Tankyou........M.T
1 person likes this
• Philippines
5 Jun 07
Maybe your lacking something that's why you can't handle your child. Action speaks louder than words. That is my advice to you. My mother gives her best to be a model for us to imitate and It's really effective. Just be the best mom for your child.
2 people like this
• Canada
5 Jun 07
Goodmorning, This is not a question about being able to handle a child, I don't beleave in what I think you are tring to say. I do my best to be a good role model and teach her every thing I can. Thankyou......M.T (dad)
2 people like this
@whywiki (6070)
• Canada
4 Jun 07
I was the worst daughter anyone could have had when I was a teenager. I treated my mom horribly. I had no respect for anyone. I never listened to her and would yell and carry on like the total b*tch that I was. Through all the awful years and tears my mom still loved me and let me know. She passed away before I had a chance to tell her how terribly sorry I was. I hope your daughter is just going through a phase like I was and I hope that she sees how wrong she is before it is too late.
• Canada
5 Jun 07
Hi Goodmorning, I am very sorry to here about your mom, We asure munchkin every day that we love her and she can come to us for anything, I mean to talk or just listen and we do. Sometimes it is very hard for me ,being dad I jump to fast and have to be the hero and that makes things worse.I got sick 7 yrs ago and was not to make it,but I did (thank GOD) so I am on all kinds of pills from morphine to depression pills so I think that affects my judgment. I know that this is a phase but I have seen to many young girls with so much potenshal end up with kids and no ambition and I don't want that for munchkin........Thankyou Very much M.T
2 people like this
@Flight84 (3050)
• United States
5 Jun 07
My mom is having a fit with my 14 year old sister. Her grades have dropped at school and she has a horrible boyfriend. She talks about running away and killing herself all the time. The thing is that she has a good life. She has everything she needs and more. My mom always gives her support, as well as myself and my grandparents. I swear I don't know what is with kids today. I have heard several stories about kids around your daughter's age giving parents a hard time. Does she have anything she is interested in to get her involved with? Give her space when she needs it and a shoulder and an ear when she needs that too...because eventually she will. She knows you love her no matter what and I think that is why kids push their parents so much. Good luck with her!
1 person likes this
• Canada
8 Jun 07
I do my best to provide her with everything she needs and more, she is in need of nothing(that im aware of) we are always here for her for support in every way and we let her no that we are. I have recently found out some imformation about her x b-friend, he was very controlling and put her down alot so her confidence is gone, before him she was , well she could of took on the world and laugh about it just a vission of happiness........Thankyou ........M.T
@Flight84 (3050)
• United States
8 Jun 07
I don't know what is is about girls that age falling for guys that are trouble. My sister is going through the same thing. Luckily, her boyfriend is going to a different school next year. Good luck again with your daughter.:)
• Kottayam, India
4 Jun 07
Keep her under your watchful eyes,tell her without discipline nobody will thrive on this planet, also check with her friends how she behave also you may take some counseling too.
1 person likes this
• Canada
5 Jun 07
Good morning, Beleave me she is watched like a hawk and is never to far out of sight. I have been told that she is the perfect child from other parents, but if you remember as a child, we are always better behaved somewhere else. I have regular Dr apptments an for health reasons so I also talk to him. What kind of counseling do you suggest, I have mainly been a single father since she was eight months, all though we have a very good friend that is like a mom, except when it comes to diseplen, munchkin will not listen and friend has to tell her she is getting dad to get results. Thankyou M.T
1 person likes this
• Kottayam, India
5 Jun 07
I have no words to thank you for taking care of my advise, I will pray for her good behavior.Let the Lord work in her heart so that everything will workout for good
• Philippines
7 Jun 07
i dun have kids but i have a 16 y.o. sister and an 18 y.o. brother. tho they're easier to relate to now, they were almost impossible to deal with before. i think it's because they wanted to be independent and make their own decisions. most of the time we know that it will not be good for them but i guess it really is better that they make the decisions themselves and let them answer the consequences of their actions. in the end, it is them who will deal with life. as an older sister, i just try to be in the background and be there for them when they go home from their battles.
• Canada
8 Jun 07
Goodmorning..I understand that she wants her independance and wanta to make her own decisions,Xample: say I let her go on a car date,they go for dinner then to the drive-in, things happen 6 weeks later guess what....now think that was you....Thankyou.......M.T
@sodapop (977)
• United States
7 Jun 07
I have a 16 year old. They think they know it all. It's all just a test to see what she can get away with. I just keep telling myself that I am her mom, not her friend. She needs a mom who will look out for her, that's my job. I keep telling myself she loves me, but right now she probably doesn't like me. It's true that she will grow out of it. And once she grows up and starts a family of her own, she will realize everything you did for her. For now, just put your foot down and let her words go in one ear and out the other so it doesn't hurt you.
1 person likes this
• Canada
8 Jun 07
Goodmorning..It's not hard to put my foot down my problem is keeping it down,being daddies little girl it;s very hard..Thankyou.......M.T
@tredale (1313)
• Australia
6 Jun 07
Alas you are not alone, teenages are horrid and the ones that arent I think the parents maybe just blind. They are know it alls with huge egos. They do grow out of it everyone says but when who knows. It like living with a KGB agent. I know how much grief I put my parents through and feel sometimes it just karma then other times I think I could never have been this bad.
1 person likes this
• Canada
8 Jun 07
Goodmorning........ I feel you hit the nail on the head here. Please when you become a parent an have a family of your own, PLEASE remember this chat and believe me it's harder on this side of the fence..Thankyou.....M.T
@liyan97 (2128)
• Northern Mariana Islands
6 Jun 07
Well I believe it's just part of growing up! She is at the point where, everyone one is wrong & no one should have a say in her little world. I think that if you are patient and open twords her, she will feel alot more comfortable with you. The key is to get her to trust in you and believe that although she may have faults, you aren't going to get on her case about little thing she does. We have all made mistakes, and we all know what it's like to have a parent worry about us so much, that even if we anted to go to the for suport, the issue of "am I going to get in trouble" is what makes us run away from the thought. Atleast thats how I saw things at the age of fifteen......I hope this helps you, even if just a little bit....Good Luck
1 person likes this
• Canada
8 Jun 07
Goodmorning.....Thankyou very much the little things we forget and it is nice to be reminded..Thanks again.......M.T
@aj2006 (1536)
• Philippines
6 Jun 07
I remember myself as a teenager back then,, though I am not the rebellious type..I can firgure out that I feel like I am in the crossroads that time... gee,Just try to communicate with her, I know that the stage she's into right now is the most crucial one, guide her in a subtle way.. talk to her.. and I know that she will open up.. Be a friend.. that's what they need from you..
1 person likes this
• Canada
8 Jun 07
Goodmorning..I can't remember being that bad as a teenager either,but, if Mom was sitting here with me she would probabley disagree. Iwill do my best but it is hard sometimes...Thankyou........M.T
• Philippines
5 Jun 07
Sorry, I misunderstood your message, Dad. I'll just tell you my mother's experience. When I was a kid (6-8 yrs. old), I always make my mother cry because I refuse to go to school and many other things. Before school, my mom would comb my hair but I will scold at her because I don't want someone to touch it and when I don't feel like going I'll lock myself in the bathroom and hide. When I'm watching tv, I hate it when somebody change the channel. My brother did that to me and guess what, I threw a plate at his head. Good thing, he's a good dodger. Now, when I talked about it with my brothers they would tell me that I'm a real monster back then. So, why did I change? Actually, I don't know myself. But my mom told me that she always pray that I will have a change of heart and now I could say that I'm the opposite of my childhood.
1 person likes this
• Canada
8 Jun 07
Goodmorning..........I am very glad that you had a change of heart, and there is nothing as powerful as the power of prayer Thankyou again........M.T
@AmbiePam (51157)
• United States
5 Jun 07
I'm sure you've already thought of counseling. Was she totally resistant to that? My parents put me in counseling when I was 15 and it was the best thing to ever happen to me. At the time we didn't know, but I had bipolar. I do great now and am thankful for my parents. When I was a teenager I just didn't know what to do with myself. However, if she is violent, think of your own safety please. It can't be easy to be a parent, and I'm sorry you are going through such a hard time.
• Canada
8 Jun 07
Goodmorning....yes I have already spoke to my Droctor about this,we are going to wait until schools out. There is just so much going on with x-ams and school so we think that we should not put any more on her plate right now.......... Thankyou ....MT
1 person likes this
@mean_queen (1713)
• Malaysia
4 Jun 07
I don't have a kid, but I do have a 14 year old sister. She's also got a terrible attitude. Everything we do seems to irritate her. Sometimes I pity her cause I used to be a brat when I was a teenager too. But at that time, I had my other siblings to talk to or to fight with. As for my 14 yr old sister, she's kinda like the baby of the family. Before her is my other 24 year old sister. So she practically doesn't have anyone she can relate to in the family. She thinks we're horrible! LOL. Well, I went through the same phase but I got over it. I'm sure my sis will too and so will your daughter. =D All the best~!
• Canada
5 Jun 07
Good morning.......Thankyou for your sinsarity, munchkin is a single child with no siblings, honestly I never thought of it that way Thankyou sincerely..........M.T
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
7 Jun 07
I have a 15 year old daughter also and she also impossible to live with. She has one heck of an attitude too. She thinks everything should be given to her on a silver platter and she should have everything without doing anything for it. I make her do some chores to earn what she wants. she likes to backtalk to me all of the time, but when i ask her why she does that, she has no answer for it. I think it is just children these days have no respect for themselves or their parents.
• Canada
8 Jun 07
Goodmorning...Hi it's like are girls are twins in each others minds,it sounds like we are going through the same stage. I don't think it is a lack of respect for us as parentsits more like they are scared to grow up and this is how they lash out at the world. We should stay in touch and be friends.Thankyou.......M.T
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
8 Jun 07
Good morning to you also. My daughter is very disrespectful to me as a parnet. She backtalks me and has no respect for anything I do for her. She always wants things and never wants to do anything for it. She acts out and expects me to buy her things. She gives me an attitude when she don't get her way every time. I ask her why she treats me that way and she says she don't know why. I also ask her what can i do to just get along as her mother, but all she can say is let me do what I want to. I said no that won't work. I told her as long as she lives in my home, she will respect me. I told her I have no problem with her doing things if she would just treat me and her step-dad better. I will be your friend mtfixit. We can talk any time. Thanks.
8 Jun 07
It's more than like that awkward stage most teenagers go through. Try getting closer with her. You've probably have tried and it's hard but you keep punishing she'll give in and drop it a bit but sometimes It's more of gimmick to cope with the world. Goodluck and welcome to mylot.com ~Joey
• Canada
9 Jun 07
Hi I will do my best but it is very hard sometimes.Thankyou and I have recieved a ton of help, I just wish I found mylot sooner it's great...Mark
@tinamwhite (3255)
• United States
7 Jun 07
Mtfixit.....first of all, please let me take this opportunity to welcome you to myLot.....it is a great community with input from all over the world....I hope that you enjoy the time that you spend here and make many friends along the way.... In my opinion, your daughter is at a difficult age...it is a time of many changes both physically and emotionally....she is trying to gain some independence....but do not worry....she still needs her daddy....we girls always do.....she is probably alitlle uncomfortable trying to discuss some of the things in her life with a man right now...even her daddy....especially her daddy....do you understand what I mean??? It is unfortunate that she does not feel comfortable enough with your lady friend to confide in her.... She is probably experiencing some peer pressure at school as well....her attitude may be a fear of the things to come that she is uncertain of how to handle...I would think that it would be especially hard to discuss with your father some of the female things she is going through...that is not said to take anything away from you...just naming the obvious...LOL Showing her love, respecting her space within limits, and being supportive are the things that she needs most right now..... I have great respect for single parents....but single fathers who are actively involved are a great personal passion of mine....I will always be here to help, if I can, just ask... Have a great day....I hope I helped somewhat.... I am requesting an addition to my friends list so that I can keep up with you... I hope that you accept....
• Canada
8 Jun 07
Goodmorning..I totally understand, I have read overr your advice many times and I thankyou from the bottom of my heart. I value your words and I would be glad to be your friend...Thankyou.........M.T