Losing an animal you love...
By Linzelite
@Linzelite (58)
United States
June 6, 2007 10:00pm CST
Recently I lost the precious animal in my life - he was my bestfriend... my heart.
The guilt I feel on a constant basis is overwelming. The fact that I let him down as his owner/parent is heartbreaking.
I know many of you are like come on he is just a dog but he wasn't just a dog he was part of the family.
He never strayed from the house in the 3yrs I had him this was his first! one minute he was there the next he was gone, Flyers went out, the search began. Phone calls came in of him being spotted but no one could get him because he was a tiny chihuahua and they are scared animals to begin with. So we would get the call and rush to where he was spotted but to only have our hearts drop to him being gone because he would take off again. No one would be prepared in our family for the phone call we received at the end of the day. It came in at 8pm that there was a small animal laying on the side of the road hit by a car. I made my ex go get him as I couldn't even gather myself. The next day we buried part of my heart I held him for the last time not wanting to let go and said my goodbyes. I feel I let him down. What makes it so hard is knowing he died scared and just wanting to come home, and not knowing if he suffered and if he did was he crying out for me. Ugh it's so hard and it's been a month and I still find myself in tears and guit beyond belief.
Has anyone felt like this like you feel like your child past away? Or guilt etc...
2 people like this
8 responses
@twilight021 (2059)
• United States
7 Jun 07
I am so sorry to hear about your loss..and the pain that you are feeling. However I think that your feelings are quite natural. Just last week my mother had to put down our beloved family dog. She was a 6 year old golden retriever. She was diagnosed with a chronic kidney ailment and it all happened fast. We thankfully had time to say goodbye but that dosen't make things much easier.
Pets are so special becuase they offer your friendship without judgement, and companionship with unconditional love. Lossing them, especially in a traumatic way before their time is a horrible experience. It's unfortunate that the joy of having a pet can also come with such heartbreak.
@Linzelite (58)
• United States
7 Jun 07
Oh I am so sorry ugh it is so hard!! It is true the saying you don't realize what you have until it's gone. Yes I loved him everyday all day but nothing would prepare me for the heartache that came with it.
@twilight021 (2059)
• United States
8 Jun 07
You ar so right...nothing can prepare yuo for how sad it feels to loose such a good friend.
@neo_matrix (884)
• India
7 Jun 07
I really understand ur feeling . becoz they make us laugh and enjoy they really truely love us and are dependant on us .I have one experience after that i have stopped keeping pets becoz of my mistake i lost my friend my pet little birdy(parrot).it was not able fly well as it was a baby a just a flash of seconds when i had left my birdy a cat ate it and i looked helpless as i could do nothing to save it as i was too far away .It tough to forget thier innocent faces.
@Linzelite (58)
• United States
7 Jun 07
Thanks for your kind words. Yes it's heartbreaking with any pet - not only dogs. I have lost a cat to and it was gut wrenching!!
@TerryZ (22076)
• United States
7 Jun 07
Hi Linzelite its never easy when our pet leaves us to go up to heaven. But in time it will ease. I have found by getting another pet soon will help a great deal. You will never forget your pet and you will always have memories. But to fill the void you should get another pet to give some love to. Believe its the best thing I could have done.
@Linzelite (58)
• United States
7 Jun 07
We are looking into it. not only for us but for our other dog as well. I find myself very protective now of the other dog maybe to much - I just refuse to have anything happen again like that.
@Tsferrets (421)
• United States
7 Jun 07
I feel for you. Please don't beat yourself up over your pet. I too have chihauhau's that are very dear to me. And they sneak out the door every chance they get. You tried to love your pet and keep it safe. If you did that as best as you could then your not to blame. Poor baby. Its so hard burying our loved ones. Some of the hurt will ease. It helps to have a picture where you can see it and talk to it. Tammy
@Linzelite (58)
• United States
7 Jun 07
Thanks =) Their so small and the chance of surviving a car hitting them is so slim. It was my worst fear and it certaintly came true! As for a picture he is on my phone and he is my computer back ground so he is always with me.
@heidim80 (15)
• United States
7 Jun 07
I am so sorry for your loss. :`(
Yes I know how you feel and I think it's pretty normal when you love an animal for the loss to feel like any other loss. I lost my Yellow Lab, Pretty, in December and it still hurts a lot. It was awful and, like you, I feel it's my fault. She was much like your baby, she was almost 2 and never took off if I was outside with her. This time though, she went out the door and I didn't realize it. I left to go to my friends house thinking she was inside, she must have come to the door to come in and no one opened it for her, so she went looking for us. She was hit by a car right in front of our house. It was horrible. We buried her in our yard and planted pretty flowers for her this spring. I still miss her a lot everyday.
@Linzelite (58)
• United States
7 Jun 07
Oh thats horrible! I'm sorry for your loss as well. It's such a tough thing to go through, I don't wish it even on my worst enemy!
@suzieb (188)
• United States
7 Jun 07
Here's a great big HUG!
My heart goes out to you and your family.
I have a Husky, he's going to be 10 this year. He's getting older, and although he still has some spunk, I see him starting to slow down. When he was younger, he would get loose and run to the park,6 blocks away, and crossing a major street. Going after him, I always feared I'd find him lying in the middle of the street.
I've helped afew dogs get home when I see them, or someone looking for their dog. Sometimes I'd use my dog to lure them close to get a leash on them, but It's not easy.
@Linzelite (58)
• United States
7 Jun 07
It is the worst fear ever with an animal. And what makes it worse for me is that I have to drive by the spot where he was hit everyday! It's the worst feeling ever! Thanks for your kind words.
@sassybratky (872)
• United States
7 Jun 07
i am so so very sorry for your loss hun ~big tight hugs~ i have been where you are and it is going to take awhile for the hurt to stop if indeed it ever does..i still cry when i see a hedgehog or think of my dog meishee ..just know he was loved and well cared for ..and not to try and take anything away but maybe go rescue a puppy from the pound who needs a home badly and know you have helped saved a life..and give that puppy the best home as you have given before...thats what we ended up doing and Goth is my heart and soul would be lost without him with me
@howard96h (11640)
• New York, New York
8 Jun 07
I am so sorry what happened to your little Diago. He was so cute. I know how your feeling and I agree that your other dog does need another companion. It would be good to get another one. The love they give is unconditional and they never get tired of loving you. I wish you the best of luck with your new search.
