Removing Friends

@worldwise1 (14887)
United States
June 8, 2007 9:50am CST
I can't help but comment on the fact that I am seeing over and over on MyLot people who are wanting to delete friends from their lists. Is this how it's supposed to work, if I disagree with a discussion that a friend started, I'm toast? That is not friendship in any stretch of the imagination. I would never remove a friend from my list just because they happened to disagree with me sometimes.
10 people like this
18 responses
@teison2 (5923)
• Norway
8 Jun 07
I have never deleted a friend because we do not agree. I think it is very interesting to hear what people have to say when they do not agree with me. That is how I get new input and can grow. i have deleted a few friends that has not been active for a long long time. I would also consider deleting someone if I thought they were obscene or extremely rude. I would not for disagreeing.
3 people like this
@worldwise1 (14887)
• United States
8 Jun 07
Right on, tesion. I agree with you. I try to turn everything into a learning experience. I voice my opinion and listen to others. I don't get angry with anyone unless they are saying hateful, negative things. That would be my only reason for deleting a friend.
2 people like this
@winky73 (1396)
• United States
8 Jun 07
Wow...I didn't realize that people were deleting friends because they didn't agree with something.That is just stupid if you ask me.I value the opinion and answers my friends give me....no matter if they agree with me or not.It's sad that some people look at friendship in such a way.I mean sure you have to have somewhat of a connection with someone to be friends.....but that doesn't mean they can't have a mind of their own. Don't worry....I won't delete you if you happen to disagree....actually I think that makes for a good discussion and sometimes I can even learn something by looking at your point of view.
2 people like this
@worldwise1 (14887)
• United States
8 Jun 07
Thank you very much, winky. That is what it is all about. We are all here to voice our opinions. Everyone is not always going to agree. Life would be so dull if that were true.
2 people like this
@pallidyne (858)
• United States
8 Jun 07
But how did they get on your list in the first place? I've got several friend requests from folks that just liked one of my responses to one of their discussions! I'm still feeling my way around, but to me 'friends' here on mylot just look like bookmarks of folks you might want to see what they have posted. I see no other benefit nor rhyme to their useage.
2 people like this
@worldwise1 (14887)
• United States
8 Jun 07
I mainly choose friends because I like their discussions or responses. They sound like someone I would like to know. I understand what you are saying, but I really have not had many friends reach out to me either.
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12168)
• Sweden
8 Jun 07
i see your point worlwise and you have a good thought on it. i, for being here for 10 months just removed like 3 people on my friends' list. not because they disagreed with my thoughts but because they have stayed inactive here in myLot for many many months already. it was difficult to remove them since they might come back after sometime... who knows, right? so, i decided to stop deleting inactive members for hope that they will return. it's not right to delete people from your friends' list just because they won't go with your idea. that's why this is a discussion site because we discuss things here... and NOT agree on everything. i hope myLottians will understand this... anne
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Jun 07
yes, i agree with you that never will all of us agree on everything. even at home, there are points of disagreements, when in fact, we have grown up under and within the same environment. hor much more for us here. we have been brought up in different countries under different cultures, traditions and creed. it is only our unified interest in participating in discussions that have brought us all under the umbrella of mylot.
@pelo26 (1553)
• Philippines
8 Jun 07
It's a free world and we are entitled to our own opinion whether we agree or not. I personally don't want to delete friends I previously approved but sometimes I do have second thoughts on doing so but only those who have been inactive for months. Cheers!
@maryannemax (12168)
• Sweden
8 Jun 07
yup. there are lots who had been inactive for months and i try to delete some of them. but i've seen some of them coming back again! and so, i am having two thoughts of whether to keep them or delete them since some of them do come back after months of being inactive... anne
@Sir_bobby88 (8241)
• Singapore
9 Jun 07
Same with me , i will never remove a single friend in mylot unless they try to harm me in anyway yea ... Well isn't that a friend should be ?
@disvachic (10120)
• United States
9 Jun 07
I would never do that either only because they disgagree or started a topic that i dont like.Everybody has their own opinion and thoughts.I feel thats real petty to do that.If i dont like a subject then i will go to the next.
• United States
9 Jun 07
No I don't remove people for disagreeing with me or because I disagree with them. I have only removed people for two reasons so far 1- they only post referrals or they spam me with referral links 2- they have been inactive for a few months To the best of my recollection I have never removed anyone from my list for any other reason.
@twils2 (1812)
• United States
9 Jun 07
I agree with you, friends are never going to agree on everything. The only friends I have deleted are ones that have been inactive for over a month. If there not coming back theres no reason to keep them on my list. I just hope they're okay and if they do come back, maybe I'll be there friend again. Take care, Terry
@Marie2473 (8517)
• Sweden
9 Jun 07
i would not remove someone for disagreeing with me. We are all different and we are all intitled to our opinions. I have removed friends, but that is for other reasons. Like spamming and if they have not signed in for months.
• Philippines
9 Jun 07
i never used to delete friends from my list only until recently. i have encountered a discussion about cleaning the friends list of inactive ones. i found it to be rational and so i did go to mine and got rid of those whom i have not come across with for months already. it is not wise to keep those people in our friends list anymore if they have already left mylot for whatever reasons or, if we have no longer been having exchanges in discussions with them. as for deleting those who do not share the same ideas with me, no i have never done that at all. it is okay to encounter dissenting ideas. i have also posted some of mine. since this is a forum, we can never expect people to give us words that we only want to hear. everyone has the tendency to say things by the way that they feel about it.
• United States
9 Jun 07
I have only had to delete 5 friends since I started on myLot. 2 were spammers, 1 left myLot and 2 after digging deeper into their discussions I found them so rude to fellow myLotters that it was stressful to read their comments. I've had pretty good luck so far and I enjoy new friends and new opinions, it keeps me on my toes but I wouldn't delete someone strictly because I had an opposing argument or opinion. That's just being petty.
@lillake (1633)
• United States
8 Jun 07
Friendships wane and wax, just like in real life. Only its easier to move asside those you do not agree with online.
@pyewacket (44032)
• United States
8 Jun 07
The only peop;e I'll delete from my list are those who haven't been here in awhile...it's sad too, cause I'll look at their profile page and it will say last logged in two months ago..and I can't help wonder what happened to them
@cynddvs (2949)
• United States
8 Jun 07
I never remove friends just because they disagree with me over a topic. I have gone through and started cleaning my friends list. The friends I've been deleting are either users who haven't logged on in a long time or friends who have added me for no reason and never respond to my discussions and they never post discussions that I am interested in responding to. I've been trying to just keep friends that have similar interests as me so my email doesn't get flooded with discussions that I have no interest in.
@Shaun72 (15965)
• Palatka, Florida
8 Jun 07
mE either. I have only removed people that keep posting spam in there articles all the time other then that I keep my friends.
@mummymo (23707)
8 Jun 07
That is so true worldwise! Surely one of the great things about friendship is that you get to know other peoples opinions and share yours - not that you have to agree with everyone! I have made friends on this community with people who have totally different opinions to me, who have enjoyed sharing each others opinion and gotten to know each other a bit better - on the other hand I have also been called a fool for expressing my opinion! I am with you - just cos you don't agree with everything your friend thinks doesn't mean you can't be friends! xxx
@applsofgld (2506)
• United States
8 Jun 07
I only remove a friend if they spam me or start posting distasteful discussions. Not just because they disagree with anything I said. You really don't want anyone on your friends list who is going to bring your ratings down, I have heard of that happening before. I have only deleted maybe two people in my time on here, one was for spamming me immediately after I accepted them as a friend.