My son is so reckless! It worries me to death! His latest "TOY" is this 4

my son on his 4 wheeler - billy on his 4 wheeler
United States
June 13, 2007 10:20am CST
wheeler. While I was visiting him last week he took me for a ride on it. He keeps it at my mom's house because he lives in a condo and has no where to keep or ride it there. So me being the trusting soul I am asked him to give me a ride on it. My mom lives in a neighborhood in the country so it's like a block but not a city block. So he drives it on the road there (on occasion) He can't do it often because someone will call the cops. But to give someone a quick ride it's usually around the block instead of in the woods there. Any way the speed limit is like 15 MPH so I hopped on the back and he took off like a bat out of he77! I think he must of gone at least 45 MPH and the block is only like a tenth of a mile from corner to corner. I screamed the whole way! I thought for sure we were going to crash! He skidded around the corners and my screaming was louder than the engine! We almost did crash right into my step dad's car when he finally flew us into the driveway. When I got off I was so shaken. My knees shook for about fifteen minutes. My question is does anyone know what makes a person so reckless? And what can I do to convince him that one day he most likely will hurt himself or someone else? I love my son dearly and do not want to see him get hurt. This is just one example of his recklessness. Other ways of his could fill a book. :(
5 people like this
17 responses
@aamoore (61)
• United States
13 Jun 07
First of all I must say that fun is fun, but if it includes my mother and my mother is saying slow down or is screaming that would make me slow down as it wuold be devastating if my mother had a heart attack or I crashed and my mother was hurt. there is little that you can do at times when you have a grown amn stuck in his ways. Only when somehting occurs that would hurt him, for example, hurting someone else and he is taking to court or he himself being in a wreck, because of his recklessness. Sometimes a person had to learn the hard way. My mother used to say who cannot hear will feel. You have a great day and you may need to sit and talk with you son and let him know that you did not appreciate what was done.
4 people like this
• United States
13 Jun 07
I like that saying that your nmother use to say what you can not hear you will feel. I never heard that before and it sent chills through me when i read it. Thanks for responding. I have tried talking to him he is just so hard headed but I think he gets that from me.
3 people like this
@bruxedo (773)
• France
13 Jun 07
That is the reason why I always told my kids that I would never give them a motobike (or a 4 wheeler). I'm so afraid that they ride too fast with nothing to protect their bodies.
@RobinJ (2501)
• Canada
13 Jun 07
I think you have answered your own question as you said toy, And I believe that is how he sees it as a TOY, it is not, it is a machine that can do harm to him and or others, and I think you might try to bring this idea to is thinking. Toys are for fun and games, this is a mode of transportation and he needs to be brought back to earth, or he will continue to play with his "toy". Good luck with this one.
3 people like this
@sedel1027 (17851)
• United States
13 Jun 07
At least he is on a 4-wheeler he bought and is old enough that it looks like he can take care of himself. I don't think you can convince him to slow down. He will have to learn that lesson on his own. Sounds like danger is in his blood. My BIL is 16. About 2 years ago he built his own go-cart of sorts that uses an old lawnmower engine, a bicycle frame and random other parts becaus ehe was tired of no one being home to bring him places. He put it together with his step-father. The thing doesn't go very fast - maybe 30MPH - but when you are low on the ground in a residental area, it is definately not safe. Did I mention that he doesn't wear a helmet? He use to ride that thing everywhere. Didn't bother anyone that it was unsafe. Thankfully, he now has a drivers license and a truck to get around in. Thank god he isn't my kid, that go-cart would have never been built.
3 people like this
• United States
13 Jun 07
I reread your discussion and could not find a reference to his age. A lot of time when kids are young into their early twenty's and sometimes even into later twenty's their way of thinking is that they can handle it. They aren't going to get hurt. A person that is young never thinks in terms of getting hurt or even worse. They are invincible in their own mind. I would sit down and talk to him not to get on his case but to have him understand that you were truly scared for him. Do it in a constructive way and maybe he will try to do better as far as not being so reckless.
3 people like this
@aamoore (61)
• United States
13 Jun 07
First of all I must say that fun is fun, but if it includes my mother or anyone and they are saying slow down or is screaming that would make me slow down as it would be devastating if my anyone was hurt. There is little that you can do at times when you have a grown man stuck in his ways. Only when somehting occurs that would hurt him, for example, hurting someone else and he is taking to court or he himself being in a wreck, because of his recklessness. Sometimes a person has to learn the hard way. My mother used to say who cannot hear will feel. You may need to sit and talk with you son and let him know that you did not appreciate what was done. Have a great day!
3 people like this
@Calais (10899)
• Australia
13 Jun 07
I dont know how old he is, but give a powerful machine to child that dosnt know how to ride it properly, they think that they are invisible. Unfortuntely if they dont listen there is only one way that they can find out how dangerous they can be. Believe me I know.
2 people like this
• United States
13 Jun 07
He's 22 and it wasn't given to him he worked and paid for it himself. I see you avatar is a 4 wheeler so I think you do know what you are talking about. I pray that he remains safe on that thing. Thanks for responding!
1 person likes this
@Calais (10899)
• Australia
14 Jun 07
I hope that he just dosnt be silly on it, its a new toy. But riding on the road, if its tar, is quite silly, it takes a split second for the tyres to grab and the bike to flick him. Im really sorry I do not want to scare you but I have seen this situation so many times. Im telling you this because maybe somehow you can talk to him and he might listen.
2 people like this
• United States
14 Jun 07
Thank you for that valuable in formation. i will tell him this when I talk to him.
1 person likes this
14 Jun 07
I think you need to emphasise how dangerous this is to him. Myself, I think I would be tempted to take it away. I'm not sure I would have given him it in the first place. Kids have no real sense of danger and live for the thrill of things. Does his mother know about it? From the way you wrote it suggests you are seperted... Perhaps the two of you could sit him down together and explain there is a time and place. Maybe there is a club nearby you could take him to... go carts or something.
2 people like this
• United States
14 Jun 07
LOL I didn't give it to him he bought it himself he is 22 years old and I AM his mother.
1 person likes this
@UDDERONES (888)
• United States
14 Jun 07
I know exactly what you mean. We have some friends who have some other friends who come over to their house. They own a 4 wheeler a sport/race one. He reeves that thing up and pops wheelies, etc and zooms off all the time. My dog doesn't like it as it is really loud and went chasing him one day and he almost ran over her. I keep telling everyone, one day he will get hurt. But he doesn't listen. I guess it will just have to happen to him before he will realize. I think he is just being a child and immature is why he does it. To show off. 4 wheelers can be very dangerous. I know of several people hurt badly and one even killed on a 4 wheeler. (sorry I am not comforting you on this) but I am just stating the facts. I hope your son will listen to you. Maybe sit him down and explain why you are nervous about the way he is driving. Maybe he will listen. I don't know.
2 people like this
• United States
14 Jun 07
One of his friends was killed on a three wheeler a couple years ago. Even with him knowing this he still acts like you say popping wheelies and zooming around. I just don't understand why he has no concept of the danger behind these machines.
1 person likes this
@byfaithonly (10716)
• United States
14 Jun 07
No way would I be a trusting soul where my sons were concerned with one of those things - they feel anything with an engine needs to go full out all the time.
2 people like this
@Cassy1976 (796)
• Australia
13 Jun 07
My partner was always reckless on his 4 wheeler bike, because he had no fear because it had never hurt him to do it until one day he crashed it, fracturing 3 vertibre in his back, he now lives with pain everyday, he cant get away from it, he is lucky that he can still walk and function normally but he no longer has a quad bike and I wont ever let him have one again!
2 people like this
@Ghuln42 (16)
• United States
13 Jun 07
Unfortunately their is not much that can be done. Some people are, for the sake of a boring medical discussion, wired for behavior like this. Numerous studies have been done on thrill seeking people, such as skydivers and stuntmen, and they all conclusively say that there is a basic neural similarity between all of them that makes them place themselves in risky situations in order to fulfill certain neuro-chemical desires. All you can do is remind him that you would miss him if he was gone....and hope.
2 people like this
• Lincoln, Nebraska
13 Jun 07
This isn't normally the type of discussion that I would respond to however I can relate. A close friend of mine flipped his four wheeler while showing off and cut up his leg, bruised his rib, and his hand got swollen. He was off work over a week and a half as he is a dry-waller/framer and he couldn't hold the hammer. I hope that for your sons sake that he exercises more caution before he gets injured. My friend was lucky as he could have been hurt more than he was.
@webeishere (36353)
• United States
13 Jun 07
Oh come on. You know the reason why. HE IS A MALE!! We are always reckless in all we do. We have to prove to ourselves first and foremost that we are "manly" in this world. Then our friends and family need to see us in our "manly" activities as well. What better way then to shake up mom with a fast and furious ride on our newest toy. I remember when dad had a 3 wheeler at the farm. My wife hated seeing me in my "manly" actions of zipping down the state highway at 40 MPH then hit the hill of the drainage ditch flying way up in the air crashing down on usually 2 wheels laffing my axx off. Of course seeing this she never did ask nor accept a ride with me drivi9ng it. She did ride it herself. very womanly I might add. 5 MPH slowly around the corners never getting nea rany hills or even bumps. HAHAHA. He's a male and will do crazy reckless stuff to show off his manliness is all. Take it for a ride on your own ,aybe you'll see it is fun after all. Good luck and stay off it when he drives it. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
@Debs_place (10524)
• United States
19 Jun 07
Your son is not a child, he is an adult. there is not much you can do and probably the more you nag him, the worse he will be. It may have felt like 45, but I will bet you were not going that fast, it was just an illusion. 2 weeks ago my son bought a motorcycle, this past week he broke his nose jet skiing, I can't stop him from doing any of these things. I can be there to talk with him, I don't want to alienate him, I know if I do, he will not call or talk with me at all. I give him my opinion and then I drop it. You must do the same.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12913)
• Australia
15 Jun 07
Your son is of those people who need an adreline rush. He will probably thrive on high level challenge activities. My daughter, age 14 years, is much the same, in that she chooses exciting activities with a challenge. The best way to overcome him fullfilling this need is with activties that promote challenge, but with safety precautions. Mountain climbing, abseiling, scuba diving to name a few. I let my daughter go on the fast rides at the show, go horse riding, bike riding & the school challenge camp.
1 person likes this
14 Jun 07
This is the problem of all the parents all around the globe, 'cause they think all the time what could happen to their child is he young or grown up. Till now I have had such problem with my brother I think he's a little crazy 'cause he does everuthing in a hurry, just like fast and the furies.I don't want to see him get hurt and I tell him time after time to be careful
1 person likes this