Why I turned to Christianity after growing up in a violent world

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Well its kind of hard to even know where to begin this tale I guess I will start from the time I was very young before I had even started grade school I would have this recurring dream, and in the dream I was always in a bed with a white room and at the foot of the bed there was a plain wall with a giant eye looking at me I felt pale and weak in comparison as if I was nothing more than a bag of bones. The dream hade a second part to it, the second part was that I was trapped between two giagantic objects that were racing at enormous speed. As a kid I thought of them like tanks becuase thats the only thing I could think of that couldnt be destroyed but as an adult when I have had this dream it was mroe like they were the size of planets and might crush me out of existance. These dreams have a meaning to me now and I only seemed to dream them when I was sick or very troubled. There was other things I would see as I grew up that no one else around me would see. I could have been just an over imaginative kid but some of the things I seen and the people I seen them around makes me wonder if there isnt a bit more to it. When I was younger I went to church on Sundays not with my mom or any of the father figures I had of course. There is one time in particular that I recall, if you went up to the alter and got prayed for they would give you candy. I didnt go because I felt it was very wrong to do this. As I grew up I did alot of searching my oldest sister had a very strange and rough life also she was involved in wiccan beliefs. I studied some of the things she did but in the end it wasnt right for me. I went to several different churches and most of the ones I went to preached about hell and damnation to try and scare you into the church. I have even been to mass a few times. When I was about 16-17 I became best friends with my current best friend. He was Muslim and I have went to Mosque and even read the Qur'an. Him being Muslim is probably a better Christian philosphy than most Christians I know. I really couldnt see much difference between the Qur'an and the old testament other than one was to the side of arabs the other to the jews. Funny that cousins could be so bitter to each other. It still wasnt what touched me. Christianity was still a hard thing to swallow with my past and I thought violence was the only way to fight violence so I coudlnt accept that it was the best way. So for a long time without accepting god into my life. I thought I was going to save the world by being in the army after that I thought I was going to save the working class by being a union leader. The truth was in both cases I couldnt even save myself my marriage was a mess and my life was a whirlwind. I finally ended up getting a divorce and met my second wife she was from a different state and believed in Christianity very deeply. I was leaning more towards the Buddhism by this time. I had come to the realisation that violence wasnt the way to go and it only caused more suffering. I tried meditation again and it seemed to help me a bit more in my life. I had also tried meditation when I was a teenager because I had gotten involved in tae kwon do and was trying to not only learn the martial arts but the eastern philosophy. My wife wanted to move back to her home town and was very unhappy about living in where I did,Iwasagainst it but I had a few things happen to me that made me wonder if it wasnt time to give it a try. Out of all that happened the things that really made me change my mind was some of the dreams I was having. I dreamed Jesus was talking to me and he told me if I beleived in him I could levitate. Of course I thought that it was just a dream even if it was dreaming. You know those things when you realise your asleep because it cant be real. He did reassure me that it wasnt just a dream and than he showed me this furnace there were three people inside and while they had ashes on them they werent hurt and he (Jesus) told me if I needed to find him I would have to look in there. Of course I was like aint no way I am going in there. The other dream I had was that me and my wife were arguing and I got on a plane and it was crashing it was heading straight to the ground and all I could think was my family is never going to know how much I love them. When I had awoke I knew that I was suppose to move with her. So we packed up all we had rented our house to friends and moved. I wasnt happy about it in fact I was very bitter and angry. We eventually split up I went back home and she stayed in where she was. At first things were going great I got a job right away even got my old job back in time but it just felt wrong after awhile. I had come to get the kids and I went to chruch with them. I couldnt stand going to church before becuase I didnt agree with some of the things I had been taught. But for some reason when I went this timeit was like every word that was said was exactly what I was suppose to hear. Everything that I had spent the last year thinking about was what was being said. I finally came to the realisation that I coudlnt save myself let alone the world, my fellow man or my marriage. There have been alot of things since that time that have given me peace fo mind that I am on the right path. I am sure most would just think I was either a bit silly or superstitious but the fact is I can only count coincidence for so much and I have seen enough that I know its not all by accident. So thats my story and I am sticking to it or atleast the path that has finally brought me some peace. For the first time I have heard about loving god not fearing him and I can see why I should love and I know that this is something that is gona be hard but I am trying to change the core of my being and not revert to my old ways. For some people I am sure they can find what they are looking for and maybe they are strong willed enough to make things happen on their own,but in my life I have come to realise I need faith and god to make positive things happen in my life. I think its come to a point where I finally realised if god wanted someone dead than he would do it. I am going to try and do my best and follow the path that Jesus made and give up thinking violence can cure all the worlds ills. I think violence only begets more violence. I hope I am never tested in a way that I cant handle and I continue to get my salvation a bit at a time as god knows how I can handle it. Sorry for the long post, believe it or not this is a very condensed version of things.