Maybe I shouldn't exist
By maildumpster
@maildumpster (3815)
United States
June 13, 2007 2:25pm CST
I know I am about to get attacked by people for posting this. That's ok; I obviously deserve it.
I joined Weight Watchers online and asked a question a while back. The replies I got insulted me and hurt me so I stopped WW. I deal with so much on a daily basis and was struggling with WW. I didn't need to be attacked and made to feel bad but they did.
Today I decided that I would post a message there telling people to be more careful how they treat people. They ripped me to shreds. Some even called me a troll and other names. I then started a different discussion reminding them of the guidelines and that just got me ripped into more.
I know that today is a bad day for me as I am very emotional but still I didn't need that. I now feel like maybe I and everyone else would be better off if I didn't exist. At least not saying anything to anyone anymore.
Why do people feel the need to be mean to people when they are being polite and respectful?
Here is the first message I spoke of:
I was under the impression that this was a support board. Guess I was sadly mistaken.
I posted about an issue I had and most of the replies I got were judgements and criticisms.
I was so put off by them that I stopped weight watchers all together and gained back the little weight I lost.
When people ask for ideas, suggestions and such they don't expect to be attacked.
I am getting back on the horse today but I doubt I will ever come here to ask for advice again.
So I ask you all to think when you reply to people. You may think you are helping when you are really hurting the person.
Here is the second:
I just posted a discussion about how hurt I was by you people. Not for my benefit but for others who you may encounter in the future. Obviously it was above your heads as I was insulted all over again.
Just so you are all aware there are community guidelines - here is number 1 =
BE COURTEOUS. BE TOLERANT. You're about to encounter many new friends in our community, with many new and interesting viewpoints. Please be respectful and tolerant of everyone you meet, even if you disagree with their opinions. Don't use language that is threatening, abusive, harassing, hateful or racially or ethnically objectionable. And don't engage in personal attacks.
Guess those mean nothing to you. That's fine, what ever. As I said I won't be coming here for support anymore as you all don't have a clue what that means.
Sorry this is long. Did I say anything that deserved my being attacked? Please tell me if I did cause I don't think I did.
9 people like this
27 responses
@retardedrugrat (4791)
• Canada
13 Jun 07
Hon, please do not think you deserved that kind of treatment at the hands of others.
Some people think that just because they're doing better than others that it gives them the right to be judgemental. It doesn't.
I'm sorry that you struggled with WW online.
If I may, I'd like to suggest another site to you. I joined this one 2 weeks ago and so far I've lost three inches off my waist and an inch and a half off my a$$.
it's http://sparkpeople.com
It's free to join, you can set it up and customize it to suit your own personal needs, and they can work out how many pounds an ideal loss would be, how many calories you should eat, and how many you should burn.
There's no pressure, and there are many community boards where I promise you that people are respectful, supportive and most of all, friendly.
3 people like this
@Ravenladyj (22904)
• United States
14 Jun 07
ooooo thanks for that link..I'll be checkin it out myself rugrat...
@EvanHunter (4026)
• United States
14 Jun 07
Dont let anyone else's negativity ever keep you from doing what you want and need to do. Keep pushing through and dont spend time on the negative if we let every negative thing that comes our way stop us or deter us we will never accomplish anything. So if its constructive criticism than its ok to think about it, but if its not something that can help you shrug it off and keep moving.
2 people like this
@trinidadvelasco (11401)
• Philippines
14 Jun 07
it is best that we keep ourselves unaffected by the bad remarks that others give us. most people will never be as soft spoken and friendly as we hope them to be. it could be that it is because, people who are trying to lose weight are having some hard time coping with their targets.
@weemam (13372)
•
13 Jun 07
No my friend you said nothing wrong , there will always be people no matter where ou go that will think they know much better than you I went to a slimming club years ago ( weight all back on now ) I lost 5 stones but one woman lost 7 punds and she kept telling ME what to do , I was too polite to say anything but she thought she knew best , I know pal that if you stay on my lot you will not be treated like that , well not by your friends you wont , There is a song somewhere and the words are " pick yourself up , dust yourself off, and start all over again , good luck pal , you are a nice person and we all know that and love you for it , God Bless xxx
2 people like this
@clownfish (3272)
• United States
13 Jun 07
Sweetie, you DO deserve to be treated with respect like any other person! NO ONE has a right to be mean to you and treat you that way! I'm appalled that people on a weight watchers weight loss support forum would be so callous and mean! Ignore them, honey! You are a wonderful person and they are just pretentious nasty snobs! You don't need them! You can find support for your weight loss here! A lot of us are in the same boat - trying to lose weight and get fit. Don't give up because of them, have faith in yourself! :-)
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
13 Jun 07
I have no idea what your problem is. It may be that Weight Watchers was unsuited for you. Some people cannot eat too many carbohydrates and Weight Watchers is cutting down on food. Some people also get extremely hungry and you may be that type. The women who were mad at you may not have believed you when you said you cut down and had only so many calories. You also should not tell everyone how hurt you were so they would not do it to anyone else. Nor should you tell people they cannot be intolerant, that they should respect others because we are all brothers under the skin. Lectures do not change people. Oh and there are some things that we should not tolerate. I won't say what they are since you did not tell what was bothering you other than someone hurt your feelings. Try a low carb diet, it might work for you and eat fruits, veggies, and stuff with lots of fiber, use weights and walk a lot.
1 person likes this
@maildumpster (3815)
• United States
13 Jun 07
What the heck are you talking about? Half of your comment didn't even make sense.
I am not having problems with following weight watchers. I had a problem with being insulted when asking for advice.
4 people like this
@clownfish (3272)
• United States
13 Jun 07
Suspenseful, you may not agree with maildumpster, but don't add more insult to injury by spouting things you don't know. Haven't you ever tried to understand someone else's problem? I think you should try that before you post to anymore of these types of discussions. And if "lectures do not change people," then don't reply to any more of her discussions. It's clear your only intent was to continue to hurt her, not offer advice.
3 people like this
@Ravenladyj (22904)
• United States
14 Jun 07
suspenseful I'm in agreement with the others who have responded to you...Your post made no sense, you obviously didnt read and pay attention to what the thread is about and your comments were rude...
"You also should not tell everyone how hurt you were so they would not do it to anyone else"
WHY THE HELL NOT? why shouldnt she have told them how she felt?? I would have! Hell I would have ripped THEM a new one!
@anewbeginning0601 (37)
• United States
13 Jun 07
Oh wow, I cant believe some people are so hurtful. I do not think you did anything to deserve to be attacked in any way. Some people are just MEAN, and dont care. When you are askin for advice you are not expecting for someone to hurt your feelings, and be that way, you just are looking for ideas... I know completely how you feel it happens to the best of us!
2 people like this
@inked4life (4224)
• United States
14 Jun 07
This is the one aspect of the internet that I really hate. It's very easy to be mean, judgemental, disrespectful, and just generally rude when you don't have to face the person you're spewing your venom to and you can hide behind a totally anonymous vatar and username. I often wonder what these people are like in real life and my guess is that they would be too chickensh!t to behave that way to someone's face. This is exactly why Mylot has to implement some sort of ignore feature so that we can block these type of people and just receive comments from people who have something intelligent to say.
Don't let these idiots get you down...their viewpoints are empty-headed and meaningless...skip over their posts, don't dignify them with a response and just read the responses from the people on here who like you and appreciate what you have to say.
1 person likes this
@maildumpster (3815)
• United States
14 Jun 07
Thanks honey but it wasn't here that I was attacked. It was on the Weight Watchers discussion board.
Thanks for being one of the ones who appreciates me.
@samtaylorskykierajen (7977)
• Canada
14 Jun 07
For starters I would like to say that I am sorry for all those that have put you down . What you were doing WAS a good thing and you were doing this for yourself and not for them so the next time somone decides to attack you just try to remember this . Joining WW was a decision you made for yourself to make you feel better about yourself and you deserve a lot of credit for this . My best friend has struggled with losing weight for awile now and I don't understand why people are not more supportive of all that she is doing . The only thing I can see is that people just can't be happy for others that are doing a good job .
Not everyone is like this and there are some very good people on here . There are also a bunch of bad apples but that is what they are , you will find them everywhere you go in life . They obviously feel so bad about themselves that they only way they can feel better is to tear someone else down .
It is sad to think that you came here for support and were so sadly ripped apart for no reason . And everything you have said here is true . There is no need to answer a discussion if one is only going to be cruel and judgemental about someone they don't know and have never met and more then likely never will .
I just want to let you know that you are doing a good job and you deserve to see this for yourself . No matter what size you are it does not change who you are as a person and for all those that can't see that , then that is there loss .
Take Care !!
1 person likes this
@samtaylorskykierajen (7977)
• Canada
14 Jun 07
Sorry forgot to add this !! You did not say anything on here that deserves to be attacked and if you do then ignore them they are only trying to be mean and don't deserve a response from you in any manner .
Best of luck !!
1 person likes this
@Debs_place (10520)
• United States
23 Sep 07
Man Maildumpster, I wish I had seen this, I feel like I have been a lifelong member of WW. I am constantly losing that battle and not in the desired way. I wish we live closer together, I could use a weight loss buddy.
If you need some help, just give me a yell. I am more then willing.
@trinidadvelasco (11401)
• Philippines
14 Jun 07
i will surely do as you did. if people will attack me there, i do not see any reason why i should be staying in a site. when we join sites, you are right that we are expecting to have supportive online friends rather than attackers.
so that weight watchers site really worked for you. i wonder if you can still go back there under a new name by disabling the old one. then perhaps you can just keep quiet in your daily ins and outs until you get your desired weight. the little sacrifice that you need to go through. i am also overweight myself and i don't have any idea as to how that thing works.
i have always learned that it is mylot which is the friendliest site of all. i have encountered this discussion and responses from mylot users who try other sites and then they come back.
@maildumpster (3815)
• United States
14 Jun 07
I can use the site all I want. I just won't go to the discussion boards.
Thanks for your kind words of support.
@5000ml (1923)
• Belgium
14 Jun 07
You didn't say anything to deserve getting attacked like that, it's just horrible. I don't understand how some people can treat others, it's totally beyond me. I feel that some online places are a breeding ground for horrible and rude people, but I never thought that a WW site would be one of them.
Please don't think you shouldn't exist. I know from experience how upsetting this is, but you're the better person here. Just think of how horrible and nasty they are, hiding behind a computer and saying such horrible things. You're not like that.
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
14 Jun 07
Well said!
You've only got to read these responses to know that these 'people' are thankfully in the minority, you will always get one or two. I hope after reading these responses you will feel much better and end up laughing at these sad individuals who get their kicks from putting others down.
@gardengrrl (1445)
• United States
14 Jun 07
Wow, MD, sounds like you got bit by a whole pack of as-sholes today! You poor thing, big hugs to you, and both of my hands extended in the tradtional New Jersey State Salute to them! Oh, wait, they're so stupid, they'll think I'm saying they're number one!
You must feel the way I did the day I called Contact because I was really, really, bad off, and they hung up on me. I swear on anything we can agree is sacred, that actually happened. I felt even worse when they did that, didn't think that was possible, either! I was sitting on my couch, and I actually said out loud (wailed, actually), but they're supposed to help me! As that echoed through the empty house, I heard what it sounded like, and started to laugh. This kind of stuff always happens to me, it would be funny as hell if it happened to someone else, might as well laugh!
So, bugger those ignorant tortured wannabe former fatties! You don't deserve that, of COURSE you don't, and they're so evil, they're practically GUARANTEED to gain all the weight back, and then some! Stuff 'em!
@Ravenladyj (22904)
• United States
14 Jun 07
"Furthermore, let's turn Alfie and Jimbo loose on them. Those carb-starved hissies won't know WHAT the hell hit them!"
*spits out her coffee and falls over laughing* OMG YA! what a great idea LOL
@gardengrrl (1445)
• United States
14 Jun 07
Furthermore, let's turn Alfie and Jimbo loose on them. Those carb-starved hissies won't know WHAT the hell hit them!
@maildumpster (3815)
• United States
14 Jun 07
"let's turn Alfie and Jimbo loose on them"
Yes lets. Where are they? Paging Alfie and Jimbo .....LOL
1 person likes this
@KissThis (3003)
• United States
14 Jun 07
No, MD you didn't deserve to be attacked. There are some people out there that live to be mean to others because their own life sucks. You did nothing wrong. If I was you I would report them for the abuse. Someone needs to teach them that they can't get away with treating others this way. I say we set up our own little support group here to help one another lose weight.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
14 Jun 07
Trouble is my friend, people are 'cowards' when it comes to being online, they are safely hidden behind a computer screen, virtually untraceable and untouchable and they use this medium to attack people verbally, they get a sick laugh out of doing this and have absolutely NO respect. They are nothing to you my friend, they are nobody, what right do they have to insult you, it's petty, its inexcusable and they are I reiterate 'COWARDS' you are worth a thousand of them.
@Minesky (245)
• Philippines
14 Jun 07
I could not understand on what question you have posted to deserve insults and bad comments. I understand your side though, when you said that those who commented on your post should have been considerate, that you are a person that has to be respected or just even considered human.
It is right though, what you did, posting another discussion informing them that you were hurt by their comments. At least that would make them think a bit (I hope).
Personal attacks is unfair, especially if you are answering to discussions that you don't even know the poster personally. If one would make comments that may be constructive but might be hurtful to the ears, I guess that should only be done by close friends and relatives.
I hope that experience do not bring you down! Just a bit may be acceptable, but you bounce back man!!!
Sticks and stones may hurt my bones, but names would never hurt me..... NOT!!!!
Best thing to do, ignore it. Give yourself time to heal, then ignore it!!!!
I think you are a person who obviously maintains to be cordial in discussions. Keep it up!!!
Cheers!
@dlkuku (1935)
• United States
14 Jun 07
I'm sorry that you were attacked and belittled like that when they should have been supporting and encouraging you.
I have a very overweight friend who recently joined curves and she loves it, and she tells me they have been wonderfully supportive and encouraging to her.
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
14 Jun 07
You are obviously very sensitive, maild, as are most overweight people(even those who won't admit it). That is the reason why I wouldn't join a gym or go to anything like Weightwatchers in the past. I made up my mind a long time ago that if I couldn't do it on my own, I would just remain the way I am. I have been successful and lost weight in the past, but I think the older you get it becomes more difficult.
@wachit14 (3595)
• United States
14 Jun 07
I joined Weight Watchers online last year, but never used the message boards. I followed the plan and lost all the weight I needed to lose. When I checked out their message boards I could see right away that it wasn't for me so I stayed away from it. Don't dwell on what happened. Cyberspace can be very cruel at times as you are just a faceless, nameless person. If you can, get back on the plan because it really does work and if you need to join a message board for support, use http://www.healthdiscovery.net/forums/ instead. This is a board that is independent of Weight Watchers, but their members are all Weight Watchers members. This board was much more informative and the people were much nicer. Good luck with your weight loss and don't let stupid people get you down.
