If Someone's Miserable Do You

@wolfie34 (26790)
United Kingdom
June 24, 2007 4:31pm CST
Avoid them like the plague, fearing it's catching or they'll bite your head off if you even attempt to talk to them. Do you try to cheer them up, tell them a joke or give them a hug and try to get to the bottom of the problem? Do you feel awkward around them and wish they'd bl**dy cheer up and stop looking so miserable? I can't help the way I look and when I go out I get people coming up to me and say 'cheer up' or 'don't look so miserable' it's so infuriating, I just want to scream. I can't help it if I look miserable! Do you find miserable people annoying or are you miserable yourself and find people asking you what's up all the time infuriating?
13 people like this
37 responses
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
24 Jun 07
Ok I try to cheer them up but not with a joke or anything just by being there for them I am not normally miserable but when my Pains set in I will not smile all the time and I hate it when People say don't look so miserable, what do they know There is a time where you won't smile because you really do not want to is that not allowed So ignore those People Sweetie they are just self centered thats all
3 people like this
@wolfie34 (26790)
• United Kingdom
24 Jun 07
I just get paranoid sometimes especially when two separate people came up and said the same thing to me and I wasn't even miserable, I was actually trying to enjoy myself LOL!
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
24 Jun 07
Do not get paranoid Sweet you do what you want to do and how you want to be I am When People say it to me I give them a sarcastic Smile they give up then lol
@tinamwhite (3255)
• United States
24 Jun 07
I am an optimist...but I donot tell people to cheer up... don't feel that I have a right to tell them how to look...that is their business...BUT I am a great listener...so that is what I usually end up doing....letting them vent..... Be miserable if that is how you feel, my dearest Wolfie....I still luv ya....xoxoxoxo
@wolfie34 (26790)
• United Kingdom
24 Jun 07
I do hate being miserable it's just the way I look, I guess the depression and having so much on my mind I probably look pensive to some and in my own little dream world. Thank you my friend, hope you get your avatar back up again SOON, I liked your pic, sorry I can't offer any useful advice x
@weemam (13377)
24 Jun 07
I say that to the people I love pal and then they usually tell me whats wrong and I try if I can to help them fix it , If it is someone I know but not too well , I ask if they are OK and if they say yes then I leave well alone , I am just one of those people who don't like to see my friends sad , but if you were here pal in Stirling I am sure you would have a happy smile on your face , especially if more were home and we has a battenburg cake xxxxx
@weemam (13377)
24 Jun 07
I meant to say if MO were home , past my bedtime lol , take care pal xx
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26790)
• United Kingdom
24 Jun 07
As I said before the three of us should go to a spa! Or just a big group hug helps. Not keen on battenburg to be honest, fussy wolf ain't I, but if you've got any hobnobs going ;0)
@wolfie34 (26790)
• United Kingdom
24 Jun 07
I have no plans to do a third trip to Scotland in the foreseeable but if I do, I'll drop in ;0) so you'll have to put the cuddles and hobnobs on the slate so I can collect later x
@mummymo (23707)
2 Jul 07
Well sweety I have been on both sides of this subject as you know already! lol I would be more likely to let someone know that I care and will be there if they need to talk or offer a shoulder to lean on rather than trying to joke and cheer them up - I know it very rarely works that way! I hope no one has been upsetting you - I will have to have words with them! xxx
1 person likes this
@weemam (13377)
14 Jul 07
me and you both sweetheart you haud them I dod them lol xxxx
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23707)
15 Jul 07
Yep - no one gets to pick on our beloved wolfie and get away with it! xxx
21 Jul 07
To be honest I tend to judge each case on merit because I know that sometimes when I am miserable I just want people to leave me alone, but then other times I want people to talk to me so I can have a whinge and get over it. So if I see that someone is miserable or unhappy then I will ask them how they are doing, I think it's pretty obvious at that stage if they want to talk or to be left alone and I'll take it from there.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26790)
• United Kingdom
21 Jul 07
Thank you my friend, hope you are ok!
20 Jul 07
ok must apologuise first i shattered been up 48hours was just turning in read this and had to respond but my spelling gunna be terible and i may lose the plot part way through i hope not though well here goes hello trouble how are you here we go you want honest answer wel sorry not got one but i know exactly how you feeling look i not going to ask for details but were i am at the moment basically if i got struck by lightning or plane landed on me head i would be happy ok look mate i know you feeling down ok i know that oviosly you got hand of cards that is all crap at the moment but this is wats helped me through last 4 years ok think about it there a lot like us out there that everything is going wrong ok theres some out therethat actually love it it puts them centre stage and they play on it anrevel in it big time to the point i sure some of the crap they make up bits and things to keep centre stage ok iggy you for the moment ok and think about your freinds and colleges at minue s there someone amongst them you close to that needs a shoulder a friend them selves i know your plate is full ok and i know this seems totally wrong but honest it isnt if you can help someone ok it will help you and it is you giving yourself a hand up corse you will gain back a bit of feeling of self worth look mate if you need someone to chat with ok that is not to close to your problem im here ok i know you dont know me adam i know that but i also know it is wat i neaded also i know this sounds odd as wellwat ever happens if someone showing they concerned or care about you and offer you a hand dont slap it away emedialy without thinking ok some do say it automaticaly and praying that you say no but speaking from standing that side to there are a lot who genuinly care and want to help and if they love you it isnt just want to help it is neads to help because it hurting them to see you hurting and they need to help you as much as you need helping dont use pride as a silly defence it oly hurts the one using it and infruriates those bouncing of that shield who are trying to help you ok think i stop now before i headbut pc in my sleep lol take care wolfie and if thee needs a chat giss a kick ok i truly am about if you need a chat or anything ok
@wolfie34 (26790)
• United Kingdom
20 Jul 07
Thank you very much for your response and a very warm welcome to Mylot! Have fun and enjoy, wolfie
• Singapore
25 Jun 07
That will depend on my own emotion state. If I think I can withstand the emotional onslaught, then yes, I will try to comfort, advise, help, whatever. But if I am feeling down myself, I avoid them like the plague. I am depressed enough already, me joining in will not help them and will just make me worse. So sometimes, the moment I see a discussion is about ranting, crying, etc, I will delete it right away without even reading. There is simply no point.
@herrbaggs (1308)
• United States
25 Jun 07
If some is truley miserable the best thing you can do for them is make them more miserable. The more miserable you can make them feel, the better they will feel, when they finally get over feeling miserable.
1 person likes this
24 Jun 07
I don't have a very smiley face and sometimes at work people have reminded me to smile when I pass them. It is usually when I was not feeling particularly down so just perked up for them. If I had been feeling sad I would probably have burst into tears. It is actually better to be noticed at all and that they care enough to say something. I tend to stick with the same people and we get along well. If one of us is feeling sad they need a while to themselves then we carry on as usual.
• Philippines
24 Jun 07
No I don't avoid miserable people...Instead what i do is let them know and feel I'm here for them..I don't bug them hough to open up..I just make friendly gestures like I smile at them...say hi..or ask if they're ok..I just want them to know there are people they can talk to..no matter what.Avoiding them would just make them more miserable and I don't think that's nice.
@wolfie34 (26790)
• United Kingdom
24 Jun 07
That's a good stance to take, thank you
@Naomi17 (624)
20 Jul 07
I'm very rarely miserable and i would hate someone to say just cheer up i try to get them in a better mood sometimes all it takes is a smile or a hug just to say your special.
@fredgame (1261)
• China
19 Jul 07
I think nobody wants or likes to be miserable. it's the situation that brings that state into play. if one has some very situation happened definitely you'll look miserable a while until you find some possible solution to it other than that you'll not look cheerful. definitely if i know that a person looks miserable and i can do something to cheer him/her up, i'll not hesitate to do it. i've got friends who cheered me up when things went wrong and now i'm very happy and we're ever best friends. cheering people who look deprssed is a good thing though .... depending on the type of person.
• United States
25 Jun 07
I try to cheer them up and if that doesn't work, then I'll just let them be. Not avoid them, but just let them do their own thing and let them get out of their bad moon on their own. I do find some miserable people annoying. Its like they find down faults with EVERYTHING in their life, every single day. Sometimes you just want to shake them and say hey look this or that is good...look at that.
@jazzygdc7 (285)
• United States
25 Jun 07
i try to cheer them up but i do not appreciate ppl being miserable towards me because they may be a threat to themselves or others. I just let them chill out before i talk to them
• United States
25 Jun 07
I generally avoid someone who looks like they're in a foul mood. I know when I'm crabby I just want to be left alone. I don't like it when people come up to me and constantly ask me what's wrong. I would rather just work through the mood myself, or seek comfort on my own. If someone I know fairly well looks like they're in a bad mood or miserable, I will ask them how they're doing. That gives them an opportunity to speak about what's bothering them. If they don't want to talk about it, then they don't have to.
@charms88 (7540)
• Philippines
25 Jun 07
Whenever I'm down, I prefer to be alone. I need to have a quiet surrounding so I can better deal with what's bothering me. It is not my habit either to burden my problems with anyone else. On the other hand, I always make sure to cheer up my friends. I don't force them to speak out. If they like to have the time and spaces to be themselves, I can simply stay behind their shadow. They know where to look for me anyway.
@rosie_123 (6117)
25 Jun 07
Well my friend - I would love to answer with the second option, and say that I try to cheer them up, but if I'm honest I'm more likely to be the last one. I do feel a little awkwatd around depressed people. I'm OK giving someone a hug if they've just experienced bereavement or a relationship breakdown or something - that is something "concrete" I can work on - but just generally depresssed and down makes me feel a ittle uncomfortable, because I don't know how to rect. Hope that doesn't sound harsh - just trying to be honest.
@junksta14 (207)
• United States
25 Jun 07
When someone is miserable i do my best to stay away from them for a while...I dont like getting involved with other peoples problems!
• Canada
25 Jun 07
I do avoid others when they are treating me miserably because I don't understand why and I just don't wish to be treated crappy because they are having a bad day . If I know they are upset and just upset in general and it has nothing to do with me then I will try to cheer them up but if I don't know the reason then I tend to avoid them .
@Darkwing (21586)
25 Jun 07
People have said this to me at times, Wolfie, when I have my serious head on, but it's only because they're so used to seeing me smiling and laughing, so I let it go over my head. Nobody can force a convincing smile, my friend, so be as you are... it's their problem, not yours. As for miserable people, it depends on who they are and how they like to be treated when they're down. Some like to sort out their problems themselves, in which case, I would just give them a hug and tell them I'm there for them; then leave them some space. If it's somebody who's normally laughing and need the company of others to bring them out of their dark times, then I would listen, hug and then change the subject and probably try to get them laughing again, by telling them a joke or two, or siting a humorous situation. These things normally work, unless the person is so deep that you can't really reach out to them. Brightest Blessings my friend, and you are the only one who knows exactly how you feel inside, so ignore the comments, huh?