my friend cannot even have a bath until her baby doses off to sleep ...

India
June 29, 2007 1:40pm CST
She stays alone with her hubby n her 1 year old son who keeps moving all over the place and is very naughty. when i went to see her today she tells me that she can now have a bath since i am there to relief her from her son since she cannot leave him for a minute .. he is always upto some mischief and she scares her heart to let him get into trouble while she is having a bath .. seems like a nightmare to me cos i have too many people at my place to take care of my daughter who recently turned one .. any suggestions how to cope with situations such as these ?
5 people like this
18 responses
29 Jun 07
Sorry if this seems an odd question but is there a reason that her hubby can't watch him while she has a bath? To be honest though the situation doesn't sound that unusual and unfortunately she might just have to put up with it until her son is a bit older. In all honesty I wouldn't be happy leaving any child that young on their own while I had a bath whether they got into a lot of mischief or not. Maybe it she hasn't already then working on a good bedtime routine might be a good option so she knows ahe'll be able to relax in the evening when he is asleep?
1 person likes this
• India
13 Jul 07
her hubby is off to work early morning .. she says she is busy makin breakfast for him n cannot have bath when he is around .. i just put forth this query cos its not just bathing .. she finds is impossible to do so many chores because she lives all alone ..
• United States
29 Jun 07
Sounds like that she'll just have to continue that way until he gets a little older. Either that or put him in the playpen outside her bathroom door so she can keep an eye on him.
1 person likes this
• India
13 Jul 07
playpen sounds good ... thanks !
@sunshine4 (8707)
• United States
29 Jun 07
Why doesn't she get a playpen and then she can put the child in the playpen while she takes a bath. She can even put the playpen in the bathroom with her so she can keep an eye on her child while in the tub.
@moomincat (321)
29 Jun 07
I dont think you should leave a child that young unattended for any period of time. Maybe when the child is sound asleep in a neighbouring room within earshot but no more. Babies do tend to completly dominate your life when they arrive. It can take some time to arrange your time and get use to the commitment, especially if you have been used to freedom. Its very nice of you to give her a little of your time to give her sometime to relax. Im sure she was very appreciative.
• India
13 Jul 07
Thanks for your sincere response .. babies do tend to take away our freedom to move around when they are toddlers but these are also the best years of their lives .. just watching them gives us immense satisfaction .. she is my good friend so i am more than glad to give her a helping hand ..
@bambi_doe (566)
• United States
30 Jun 07
I used to strap my duaghter into her stroller or place her in her playpen in order to take a bath. My daughter uses a pet eater one of those metal tubs for feeding cows and such and iflls it with about an inch of water and sits it right next to her and places my grandson in a bath seat and they both take a bath together. Hugs
@Marie2473 (8519)
• Sweden
30 Jun 07
Where is the husband. why cant he take care of the child and let the mom have a nice long bath once in a while. They are both parents and both responsible of the child.
@psyche49f (2511)
• Philippines
30 Jun 07
At least this situation is just temporary for your friend since her child is still small, doing lots of exploratory activities. As soon as the child matures, this difficulty will no longer be observed. It's good that you were there at the right time. Your friend can time her taking a bath and doing other things as soon as the baby is sleeping. That way, she does not have to worry about her baby. But she can keep the bathroom door open to keep watch of her son while bathing. She has just to be patient till her son grows older, and more controlled of his behaviors.
@rapolu_cs (1184)
• India
30 Jun 07
Dont worry things change to be better by time or with the time,it is common with those who have no body to care for their children unless them alone,but i think your friend never complaints about it. Anyway all the best for her and i feel pity with the situation that she is facing but you be with her appreciating her work and calm or relax her with your good words and fill brave in her heart that she do it with more spirit,friend.
@Gemmygirl1 (2870)
• Australia
30 Jun 07
I don't understand why her husband cant watch the baby while she takes a bath if they're both home! I usually have a shower when my daughter is asleep in the afternoons while my other half is at work or i wait until he gets home coz he starts early & is home by 3pm. She's better off waiting to take a bath anyway, wait until he's gone to bed & then she can relax & take as long as she likes. It's the best way to wind down after a long way of running around after a baby, i do the same thing myself & it always feels great!
@rupee1 (38)
• Pakistan
30 Jun 07
well.. to be mom is not kinda simple.. i never have been a mom ..lols coz i cant be... but that story is not only your friends' .. i see it alomst everywhere around me, but what i think is this rush routine my have an enjoyment withing itself, a thrill , a challenge.. for the mum! ask your friend .. if she would be happy or not if someone else instead of her takes care of her baby and does all this! If she does say that it will be okay to her, then why not have a babysitter for her baby, that can solve the issue perfectly i think
@mariam74 (555)
• Egypt
30 Jun 07
Do you know that I have a friend of mine that has the same problem with her one year daughter, when I go to her she leaves the daughter with me until she finishes bath so I told to her why not don't take her with you and take bath you two I think this is the best way so that don't leave her alone and in the same time she can be with her.
• United States
30 Jun 07
Sounds like the average day in my life. I still wait until all the kids are asleep before I take a shower and my oldest is 7. They just get into too much mischief. Either that or I wait until my husband is around. Sometimes if they have been behaving I put the baby (who is 15 months) in her crib and put a movie on for the other kids and try to sneak in a quick shower.
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
29 Jun 07
I know you've heard most of this already but I think it is all worth repeating. A one year old is not naughty just because he moves around and explores like any normal one year old. If she can't handle normal one year old behavior then she'll really be miserable when he is two years old. If she is so desperate for a bath she should make sure it's taken care of while he is sleeping or when her husband is home. There is no reason she can't take a bath every night before she goes to bed or wake up a little earlier in the morning that her son. That's what many mothers do. There is also no reason why her husband, the child's FATHER, can't take care of him for a little while so she can take a bath. She is not ALONE with her husband and child. Alone means no one else is there to help her. She AND her husband are parents and they BOTH are supposed to look after THEIR child.
@Tanya8 (1734)
• Canada
29 Jun 07
I agree with what a lot of people have said previously. My husband travels out of town for work a lot, and when my children were that age, I saved having a shower for when they were asleep for the night, or before they woke up in the morning. Children that age should never be left unattended, and definitely the "exploring, getting into everything" behavior is developmentally normal for age 1.
@Calais (10899)
• Australia
29 Jun 07
It sounds like she is not coping at all. Cant she have bath when he is asleep. That way she can watch him when he is awake,. It sounds like he has the run of the house, there should be some guidence and limits.
• United States
29 Jun 07
I dont uderstand why you refer to this one yr old child as very naughty. One year olds are not naughty, they are one year olds. For both of my kids if my husband was not here to look after them, then I waited to shower until they were in bed. They are now 6 and 3, and the 3 yr old still needs constant monitoring. I however dont find this to be irritating. It is my job to make sure they are safe if that means I have to wait to take a shower, then that isnt a really big deal. I do agree with one of the posters though, how come the father cant watch this child while she showers.?
@wmaharper (2316)
• United States
29 Jun 07
I know you have gotten this response alot, but why not put him in a play pen? I put mine in his play pen and put in his favorite baby einstein movie, he'll sit and watch that, and it gives me 30 minutes to take a shower/bath, and I know he's not crawling, walking all over the place, getting into things. Or, why can't she wait till her hubby gets off work, and he can watch the kid so she can bathe.. i'm waiting for mine to get home so I can take a bath.. (:
@eden32 (3975)
• United States
29 Jun 07
I don't understand why her husband can't watch him either? There really isn't anything "naughty" about a 1 year old getting into things, that's normal childhood development. If the husband can't watch him, I'd take him in the tub with me or into the bathroom in a playpen.