What would you do if your kids wanted sweets instead of real food?

United States
July 3, 2007 3:01am CST
Yesterday my daughter insisted on lots of milk before lunch and supper and later refused to eat her food. She nibbled at her dinner and only ate a bite of hotdog and later some doritos. I have made that mistake before by giving her milk too soon. And, she ends up not wanting food. Today when we came back in from playing outside in the yard, she demanded milk again, and instead I offered her a choice of water or juice. She didn't want either and went into a horrific tantrum. How do you deal with your kids when they want sweets and treats and cola that you know will ruin their appetite for dinner? There must be some better way to deal with these situations, that I have not found. And, I would love to hear from the other My Lot moms on this subject. Thanks
2 people like this
19 responses
@mschiqui (1284)
• Philippines
3 Jul 07
my son is also like that,but i really dont give him what he wants if i know it is not good for him..i really have to do some explaining, and even leads me to bribe him,i will promise him for a prize if he will just eat for real food,like we will go out for a play,or i will give him a toy,or anything he likes if he will just only eat real foods.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Jul 07
That is excellent advice! I'm always giving up the prize before I get anything in return.
@mschiqui (1284)
• Philippines
3 Jul 07
honestly for it really works, but i really had to comply on my promised so that it wil not create a distrust on my son's part.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Jul 07
Yes, that is the most important part.
@magikrose (5423)
• United States
3 Jul 07
What my husband and I have done in this situation with out kids is instead od giving a full glass of milk to drink offer a comprimise and only give a half glass or even alittle less then tell her she can have more with her dinner that way your daughter still gets her milk, it wont fill her up and you still get the satisifaction that she will still eat her dinner.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Jul 07
Sometimes I do notice that she leaves milk in her cup, so that might be a good idea.
@jeff0208 (28)
• Singapore
3 Jul 07
A daddy here. My kid does the same before. However, I have made a few reminders for my kid just to have him eating the real thing. I explain why he needed to eat before his milk. And by doing so, I also get him into craving for food.. how? Not feeding him with anything until he is really hungry. Torture isn't it? But no, he learns his lesson. And now, he eats even raw veggies. Tuntrums? Ha ha ignore it. The more you give up everything and the more you tolerate tuntrums, the more the child would to the same over and over again. Just ignore it. Wait until she feels you are not affected. Works really fine to me.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Jul 07
You do sound like a dad! Dad's usually have thicker skin when it comes to ignoring their kid's tantrums. However, I may just try out your advice on the food. It does sound a bit extreme, but my kid pushes her limits daily, often refusing to eat anything unless it is chocolate or chips! And, that is not healthy. Sometimes I think she has all the parental power.
@sacrg793 (429)
• China
6 Jul 07
well, i will explain what is what the bad effect the sweet will have to her and as sacary as possible, such as you teetch will be eaten by worms, etc, i think children sometimes believe in your words.
• Malaysia
6 Jul 07
I am not a mother, but maybe I can suggest something. But this has to consume some time and you have to be a little patient about it. When you sit together for example in front of the tv, try initiating a little talk with your daughter and make examples of stories why we shouldn't drink milk before meals. Make the stories sound funny. Slip in some thoughts that she shouldn't drink milk on that time. And play with her psychology so that she is the one who will make the decision not to drink milk, not you.
@rapolu_cs (1184)
• India
4 Jul 07
Ok,fine it is common with every kid and there is no other method rather than convincing them and i do the same and my kid does not do this every time and it is only once in a while and it is ok for me.
@youless (99059)
• Guangzhou, China
4 Jul 07
Frankly, my three years old son seldom like eating snacks, even including the sweets. And I always encourage him to eat various kinds foods. So if he asks me for candies, I think I will be happy:) I am sorry that my this response seems to be a little weird.
@vokey9472 (1488)
• United States
4 Jul 07
With my son, I used to give him the milk but I would dilute it with water. I know it sounds gross but it worked. He would get his milk but it wouldn't fill him up. If he asked for a second cup, I would tell him he could have water and more milk at lunch or dinner time. Another thing I would do was mix a little bit of kool aid singles (the sugarfree ones) into his water. He would drink the water then instead of the milk. We slowly went from milk anytime he was thirsty to only at meal times. Now at 5 he only wants milk at meal times. We allow him to drink as much milk as he wants at meal times.
• United Arab Emirates
4 Jul 07
There is nothing wrong in giving milk since it is not junk. Milk is the best food for children. But, yes you should try avoiding giving milk before food. When they ask for milk I feel we should give them because i cannot find any alternative to giving milk. They wont be ready to have food but demand for milk. I will keep an eye on this post if I too find any solution to this problem. Forgot to mention, sometimes I too face this problem.
4 Jul 07
Well for starters, why are you feeding her doritos for dinner?? anyways...i c it that u gave in once and so now she expects u to give the milk to her again...jus hold your ground and not speak again...like just say "no end of discusion" Next time it will b easier and so forth
@ivyoon (673)
• United States
4 Jul 07
My daughter is 7 now, but when she was younger, she would only drink milk. Never water or juice or anything else. She eventually grew out of that. She still drinks milk but not that often. When she used to throw tantrums (and boy would she) I would just let her have the milk. It seemed that she was getting enough nourishment from it, although I've heard a lot of bad things about whole milk that I won't go into here. She is still a very picky eater, but I feel that as long as she eats when she is actually hungry (which she does) she is probably ok. I have talked to pediatricians, and they agree that a child will eat only when they feel hungry and their body is telling them they need food. My daughter drinks a lot of water now. (We keep a 2 gallon dispenser in the fridge and she loves it). If your daughter is still young (5 or younger) I think it is ok for her to drink milk and not eat what an older child would eat. As long as her health seems ok, she is fine. On the downside, I have heard of children becoming lactose intolerant later in life because of too much whole milk consumption during their formative years. (This has happened to my son) but lactose intolerance isn't the end of the world. I just help my son (now 9 years old) to monitor the amount of dairy foods he eats throughout the day and he doesn't have a problem. I say, as long as your daughter does not develop any signs of malnourishment, she is fine. Let her have the milk, she will grow out of this phase as her body begins to grow.
• Brazil
4 Jul 07
1 - They ruin their teeth 2 - They ruin their health 3 - They ruin your $$$ too
@TawnyJo (131)
• United States
3 Jul 07
I wish I had a good answer for you. Unfortunately my son only seems to like junk food. I have a hard time getting him to try new foods and a very difficult time gettng him to eat anything that hasn't been processed.
@wachit14 (3600)
• United States
3 Jul 07
First of all, I think it's great that your daughter is asking for milk instead of soda or sweets. It's true though that milk is very filling. I would always compromise with my kids on things like this because getting them to eat, even now is a slippery slope. By compromise, I mean offering her a little milk and giving her an incentive for more if she eats some of her meal. At that point, you can offer her a little more milk and with some more bites of food, she can have more. I did this with my own kids and I have to say, most of the time it worked. Unfortunately, I hating bribing my kids to get them to do things, especially eating a balanced, healthy diet. I would always encourage them to take three, four or five more bites and they would if they knew there would be a treat in store for them at the end of the meal.
• United States
3 Jul 07
I WAS A NANNY IN SWITZERLAND FOR 15 YEARS! depending on the age of the child a child under 6 needs 3 meals and 3 snacks a day. an older child needs 3 meals and one snack between lunch and dinner. Milk craving is a sign of bone growth. I would give it to her in moderation. try getting her a tiny glass like a small juice glass or cup. a baby cup is too big! or a baby cup where she cant see how much is in it with a top and fill it only 1/2 way. what you give her is all she can have. Nothing an hour before meals EVER! breakfast,snack, lunch,snack, dinner, dessert..snacks are fruit and health food snacks. dessert is something like a twinkie, cupcake, little debbie treat. BUT..only if she eats the meal does she get the snack or treat, otherwishe she gets the meal reheated or just reoffered if it doesnt apply. YOUR POOR EATING CHOICES HAVE REFLECTED ON YOUR CHILD. you drink soda and eat chips so she does too. if you are fat you will raise a child to be fat because you have poor eating habits and you will teach your child the bad eating habits you have. if you are average weight you more than likely understand the word MODERATION. Sweets are an important part of childhood. A small sweet after lunch is great but only if she eats lunch. Same with dinner and dessert. Try putting all the chips and snacks out of sight. Use one drawer or cupboard above her reach that you can keep the snacks in..put a happy face on the door and teach her to want the snacks but she can only have them if she cleans her plate..Dont give her too much of anything for meals, she is small and can only eat so much. The average toddler can only eat a small amount of food before getting full so small portions of everything healthy..eat that you get the snack. dont and we give it to you for snack. Lunch leftovers can become snack of you dont eat your lunch..Snack is only of you clean your plate!! My godchild will drink her meals if we let her so we dont offer the drink until she eats a certain amount..if she doenst eat dinner we offer it to her again before bed. if she doesnt eat it she has gotten no snacks before bed and we give her childrens boost or a carnation instant breakfast drink before bed but no sweet or dessert. ITS SIMPLY A TRADE AND YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF EVERYTHING YOU CHILD EATS..DONT OFFER IT OR HAVE IT AROUND IF YOU DONT WANT HER TO EAT IT..HID IT FROM HER SHE WILL QUICKLY REALIZE FRUIT IS GOOD. THERE ARE ALOT OF HEALTH FOODS AVAILABLE VERSUS SWEETS AND JUNK FOOD..A CHILD UNDER 6 SHOULD NEVER HAVE SODA EVER..IT IS JUST SUGAR IN A GLASS...OVER 6 IN MODERATION LIKE WHEN YOU GO OUT TO DINNER. OTHERWISE ITS WATER, JUICE OR MILK..I ONLY OFFER MILK WITH DINENR OR WATER, JUICE WITH LUNCH AND BREAKFAST, WE MAKE FRESH FRUIT DRINKS IN THE BLENDER USING JUICE AND BERRIES. A TEMPER TANTRUM WORKS ONLY IF YOU LET IT..I USUALLY JUST STEPPED OVER MY KIDS AND LET THEM HAVE IT, AFTERWARDS I ASKED IF THEY WERE FINISHED NOW AND SENT THEM TO THEIR ROOMS FOR A REST PERIOD SINCE HAVING A TEMPER TANTRUM MUST BE EXHAUSTING..THEY SOON GAVE THAT GAME UP QUICKLY WHEN THE RESULT WAS NOT AS THEY EXPECTED IT TO BE. AND A TEMPER TANTRUM IS A FORFIT OF A SNACK OR DESSERT DEPENDING ON THE NEXT MEAL. SORRY! WE DONT ALWAYS GET WHAT WE WANT IN THIS WORLD, THAT IS REALITY..AT ANY AGE SIMPLE RULES ARE EASY TO UNDERSTAND BUT YOU HAVE TO BE CONSISTANT.
@makingpots (11920)
• United States
3 Jul 07
I am slowly learning with my little one that I have to decide what is really important to me.... in my case, eating well is one of those things. Then I set rules about what I will and will not tolerate and have to ignore the tantrums with it comes to that. By now my son is starting to realize that throwing a tantrum for sweets will not work. But at the age of almost 3 is still trys me now and then. I think consistentcy is the key on these type things. The first time he wears me down and I give in to a tantrum it will be like starting over at square one with him. I never want to have to do that.
• India
3 Jul 07
well, i'd try to get him to eat his food, and if he doesnt well it's upto him, but he wont't get any sweets no matter how hard he tries. That's for sure.
@butterfly39 (3907)
• Philippines
3 Jul 07
I allow only once but after that no more...
• India
3 Jul 07
I am a man and I would give them rubber to eat!.. The rubber that is meant for eating.. That way they'll be busy working on their jaws and at the same time would be gaining a lot of nutrients!. Its tasty as well..