Raising a responsible child

@patgalca (15627)
Orangeville, Ontario
July 3, 2007 12:26pm CST
My youngest daughter will be 11 at the beginning of August. Because her birthday lands in the middle of the summer when everyone is away, she has her birthday party at the end of the school year. She had a party last week. She told everyone that she wanted a Sport Mart gift cart. All but one child gave her a Sport Mart gift card, totalling $125. Today her father went to take her shopping and she could not find her gift cards. She said she put them all in an envelope, described the envelope, but doesn't know where she put them. She has 4 purses. Why did she not put them in her purse? We have searched the house high and low for them. They either went out in the garbage (we did a good house cleaning yesterday) or one of her friends who seems to wander around at will in our house stole them (but I doubt it). My daughter's heart is broken and I do feel bad for her but I am also very angry. When is she going to learn to take care of her things? She has lost money before. She has lost her library card. Most of the time we find stuff. This time, no. Obviously she is learning a hard lesson here. I am not about to replace the cards' value for her. What do you think? Do you think at her age she should be able to keep track of things, especially something as precious as that? Especially when the child has a purse? How am I going to teach her to be more responsible? Do you think this will be the lesson to wake her up?
4 responses
@tater03 (1765)
• United States
3 Jul 07
I don't think that you should replace them. I too have run across this same problem with my two sons but it has to do with taking their toys out back and leaving them outside and they get ruined. I have forever told them and reminded them at the end of the day to go out and pick up their toys and bring in the ones they don't want to get ruined if it were to rain. I cannot tell you how many things that have gotten ruined. But now I am seeing that they are starting to bring in things because they are starting to get tired of having their toys get ruined and seeing that Mom is not going out and replace them. I think you are doing the right thing.
1 person likes this
@lisado (1230)
• United States
8 Jul 07
I would think that she is old enough to take responsibility for her own belongings. I hope this will wake her up, but with kids it's hard to tell. Since you won't replace them, so she is out of luck, it might be the one thing that finally wakes her up. She should have put them in a place where they would be safe, like her purse or something like that. A piggy bank or kid's safe. Putting them in an envelope where they could get tossed in the trash, or stolen, isn't taking care of them. I don't think there is much more you can do. It was a lot of money lost that won't be replaced. If that doesn't wake her up I don't know what will.
@patgalca (15627)
• Orangeville, Ontario
8 Jul 07
She found them!!!! She said she already looked in the place she found them and sincerely suspects her sister took them and then put them back. Her sister didn't seem to have a clue where they were when they first "went missing". Even if her sister did take them, hopefully she has helped teach her sister a lesson.
@lisado (1230)
• United States
8 Jul 07
I'm glad that she found them! That was a lot of money to lose. Maybe this was enough to teach her a lesson. If her sister HAD taken them, maybe she wouldn't have if they had been put away properly. :) At least she got them back and maybe, finally, learned her lesson.
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16233)
• United States
8 Jul 07
Most definitely a wake up call. That is sad that it's happened but I don't think I would replace them either. Your right, she has a purse or she could of given them to you to hold onto until the time came for her to go shopping.
@patgalca (15627)
• Orangeville, Ontario
8 Jul 07
Yes, I hope next time she gets money or something like that she will put it in her wallet and her purse. She always wants purses and has four of them. Why not use them for what they are meant to be used. Duh!
• United States
6 Jul 07
I would definitely not replace them. If you can, show her that you're sympathetic that she's lost them-she'll feel that you are on her side rather than pounding her when she's already mad at herself. (and, if you yell at her, she may get mad at you instead of learning how to be more responsible. It's easier to be mad at you than at herself.)