How much do you really know about your best friend?

United States
July 3, 2007 9:34pm CST
Do best friends keep secrets about themselves? I suppose it's inevitable. After all not everyone is so straight forward about their past. I've often wondered if some of my best friends had really bad secrets, like maybe they cheated on their taxxes or had been in jail. You can never tell simply by looking at someone, I suppose. Of course, you'd never knowingly associate with a really bad person, but how would you know, right? So, how about you? Have you ever discovered a really horrible secret about a friend? I'm talking about something that she purposely tried to hide from you. Did you confront her with the truth? Or, let it stay her secret?
6 people like this
19 responses
• United States
4 Jul 07
All I can say is that sometimes you just never know people entirely. Some people are open books while others prefer to keep secrets. My best friend (for half my life) that I took care of and helped to get back on her feet solicited my husband, nearly tearing our marriage apart, in the hope of having him all to herself. The story was a cross between Fatal Attraction and SWF, folks. SCARY. When I found out, I cut off all communication with her and we haven't spoken since. It was an unbelievable breach of trust on several levels. I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive her.
• United States
5 Jul 07
All I can say is "Wow!" I have never heard anything like that before. I guess you really never can know a person until they turn against you. One of my so called best friends online told me she had one kid and we swapped baby pictures and everything. And, then one day when I was at another message board, I read where she had two kids. She was bragging about her son in junior high school. I was floored. She was supposed to be my best friend and she didn't bother telling me about her oldest son. You'd think that would be a detail a mom wouldn't forget. I guess she was either lying to me or them. The friendship broke up later, but over something else. I never trusted her that much after that, though. Thank you for sharing your personal story. My best wishes to you.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Jul 07
That is crazy because I had a feeling that was going to go in that direction. I quess I should have said something. I apologize.
• United States
18 Jul 07
You know what - it was already happening before you could have said anything. They fooled around when she visited in '99 and then he allowed me to invite her into my home in '03 having never told me and it just picked up from there. It was going on until she left last October. 3 years. Unbelievable. See, I told you in an email that we needed to catch up! There was nothing that anyone could have done - and I don't know that I would have listened. I just thought he was above doing anything like that. Now we're in therapy and working through it. It's hard, but we'll see what happens. No one at work knows and we'd like to keep it that way.
• Malta
4 Jul 07
I think that best friend by definition is somebody who does not hold any secrets. My best friend is my husband and I am sure that he has nothing to hide from me as we are spending our all time together.
2 people like this
• United States
5 Jul 07
My spouse is my best friend too. I tell my friends that and they think I'm too mushy. But my feeling is that if a spouse can't be your best friend then why did you marry them? Thanks for sharing.
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23707)
14 Jul 07
The only thing I have ever discovered about a friend that was horrible is that she was so nasty and backstabbing while pretending to be someone who was nice and totally reliable! I let it slide - not wanting an argument and confrontation and she ended up stabbing me in the chest - figuratively of course , not literally! My best friend and I hide nothing from each other - we tell each other the good, the bad AND the ugly! xxxx
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Jul 07
OK, you can be my lucky charm! I'll just share the really good stuff with you from now on. I'm so happy you found me. Big hug! :)
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Jul 07
You are right. I've been reading a LOT of relationship books lately (for obvious reasons) and your spouse IS supposed to be your best friend. No one is to be more important than them in your world.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jul 07
It's so true! It's a miserable world when you can't be best friends with the person you are living with. A very lonely life indeed.
@makingpots (11920)
• United States
5 Jul 07
I have never discovered a really bad secret about any of my best friends. But it seems to me that I am constantly learning something new about them and thinking to myself - how is it possible that I didn't know that about this person? What about you beautyqueen26? Got any really great secrets to share with us all???? ;P
1 person likes this
@Gorgeous24 (1091)
• United States
4 Jul 07
Well I tell my best friend pretty much everything, she knows sooo much BUT there are some things I think should be kept to myself. The good things about best friends is they dont judge you even though they have different beliefs as you...me and her dont always agree on everything but I know she will always be there to listen no matter what I have to say.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Jul 07
That's the sign of a true friend. She is there to listen and knows you will be there for her too.
1 person likes this
@TawnyJo (131)
• United States
5 Jul 07
I think that everyone has at least 1 secret they keep from even their closest friend. I know I, myself, have kept secrets from friends. I think it depends on how you feel they will respond to your secret. I learned of a secret about a friend of mine through the gossip mill. I don't know if it was true or just a rumor so I chose to ignore it. I felt that if it was true and she felt like sharing it, she'd let me know. Sometimes I think secrets can be good. It keeps a part of you a mystery.
1 person likes this
@mr_imi (34)
• Egypt
5 Jul 07
u can say i know all things about my best friends. what he love and what he hate and i know all bad secrets about him but not horrible and he can't try to hide any secret coz i understand what he want or what he do .but only my best friend .other friends i dont know alot of things about them. but i can look in his eye and know what happen? really :) ^ ^
1 person likes this
• Vietnam
4 Jul 07
i think best friends do not mean that they have to talk all their secret to you,they have their right to keep their own secret.If they really be your best friends,they will treat you as good as they can.
1 person likes this
@puchapox (583)
• Philippines
4 Jul 07
I have friends I consider my best friends. We don't see each other often so more or less we don't know everything about each other unless we have time to meet and catch up with each other. I know there are some things that we don't tell each other unless the issue comes up, its not like we hide it, more or less we just forgot to mention it. If its something really bad, if they want to keep it maybe they think its for the best, so I really won't pester them until they tell me everything.
• India
4 Jul 07
no in my life my friends have not confessed me a completely horrible secret but yes they do tell me their problems in life that they face.Even i tell them all the my secrets and its not a bad thing to do after all you cannot keep certain bad things in your mind.you have to let it out and friends are the only person you can share your secrets with.
@lean_rose (262)
• Philippines
4 Jul 07
yes...one of my friends have a confidential secret that she decided not to tell me or even one of our friends...I agree that it is unevitable to keep secrets but there is always a time that secrets will divulge.We observed that there is really something in her that made her lost her mind. So we confront her what's happening with her..we are surprised when she said sorry. She explained to us everything. Time passed that secret of her revealed to everybody.
1 person likes this
@larskie23 (867)
• Philippines
4 Jul 07
when my friends and i are in college, we share a lot of stories together, even our own family problems. it seems that we know each other well. but i dont think that we really share everything. there is always one thing that you can never share or you dont want to share. like me, though i have a best friend. i dont share everything to her, its like her, becoming my diary. nah.. i dont think so.. :-)
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16233)
• United States
4 Jul 07
I know that I don't know everything about my best friend and there are things that she does not know about me. I did find something out about her and confronted her about it. We talked and talked and we became even closer. She is my best friend in the whole wide world!
1 person likes this
@mageshis (183)
• India
16 Jul 07
I can understand every movement of my friend, I can easily find what is going on in his mind. What he is coming to say?, I am well confident that i know my friend better than any one, I always like to hang with friends.Every weekend i will go withthe friends in the evening that helps me to work energeticly till the next week end.
@salam1 (1474)
• Malaysia
15 Jul 07
I used to accept friends unconditionally. At that time I thought whatever their background is not my business, but their business. I just accept almost everybody as a friend. As I grow a bit mature, I found that I did wrong or at least not the best thing. Now, I believed that I have to make 'good or closed' friend with who are good people and have good background. Not because I am choosie but I am not good and patient enough to deal with people who have dark past..
@youless (98997)
• Guangzhou, China
8 Jul 07
I think my best friends don't have bad records before. In fact most my best friends were known from school. I know their family, I know whether they have a brother or sister. I know their parents. I know my friends' birthdays and interests. I also know their jobs and where they live.
@orbeltadz (506)
• Baguio, Philippines
5 Jul 07
My bestfriend is my worst and best enemy. But I need to reconcile with him. It's time to make peace and bring back our friendship. My bestfriend way back in our grade school, we always play each other and inevitably sometimes teases. We keep and share some secrets. Best of all, help each other in times of trials and problems. We even shared some answers until we are apart in college.
@alokkarn (123)
• India
5 Jul 07
I would make a friend based on his/her qualities of head, heart, character, education, views on important things in life. I would not be worried about his/her past. So long as he is true and good to me I will stand by him/her even if i come to know about something bad about his past which he did not reveal to me. A friend is a friend. How can i leave him for such things.