Practicing religion should be a private practice.

@loujac3 (1188)
United States
July 16, 2007 11:43pm CST
This is a subject that everyone has heard about but I am living in middle of. I am sharing a house with two other people. The owner of the house is religious but respects my beliefs and doesn't choke me with his. The third person is a fanatic and born again christian. He is convinced that his church is the only church and that all others are wrong. He is constantly making snide remarks and I just try to ignore him. I even get up and leave the room to avoid issues. How should I deal with this guy? Is there anyway to set him straight so that he will back off and respect the feelings of other people? Give me a clue here.....PLEASE!
6 people like this
15 responses
@liranlgo (5748)
• Israel
18 Jul 07
i do agree with you louj, a religion and a believe is a private thing, and should never be forced on the other. Once someone forces his believes on you, it means that he has a big problem, and maybe he can not see or hear other things that differ from him, and maybe he needs more people to be strong. I believe that if you are a true believer it is enough that you will believe and practice your believe within yourself. but about your roommate, i guess that you already explained to him or her that what he does bothers you, and he did not really listen, so you can not really do anything about that, except talk with the other roommate and decide if the best way is to tell him to go and find another apartment with people that share his beliefs as strong as he does.
@liranlgo (5748)
• Israel
24 Jul 07
thank you louj:)
• United States
17 Jul 07
I am a born again Christian. I would tell him that you can't force a person to accept the gospel and to try only pushes someone further from it. Then tell them quite clearly that they are to back off because they really are making you uncomfortable. That should help. (at least I hope it does)
1 person likes this
@loujac3 (1188)
• United States
20 Jul 07
Straight and to the point! Godd way to handle a guy like the one who is bothering me. I now find it easier to just walk away since anything that I or the man who owns the house tries to say just goes in one ear and out the other.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jul 07
Yeah being straight and to the point cost me my red 9 star LOL If that is easier then by all means handle it that way but if it gets out of hand remember my advice.
• Kottayam, India
17 Jul 07
The best way to win an argument is to avoid it. Tell them to come with all their arguments take one full day and hear them patiently at the end give good judgment and tell them that is the end.If anybody discuss religion will thrown out mercilessly and that is the end.May you have a peaceful time thereafter.
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@loujac3 (1188)
• United States
19 Jul 07
Great idea! I wish I had a day to give him but I think I would not be able to put up with him that long. LOL I find it best to walk away and save my energy for more deserving battles. Religion is something that I feel is a personal issue.
• Kottayam, India
24 Jul 07
You are absolutely correct.
@nangel78 (1458)
• United States
18 Jul 07
I would avoid the guy if he cannot get a clue that you do not want to hear about it. Apart of being understanding is having respect for the differences of everyone and not being judgmental in my opinion. If he cares, he will stop in the long run.
1 person likes this
@beckish (635)
• United States
18 Jul 07
Perhaps you might try a conversation where you listen to his views on religion - and then he listens to yours - and then the two of you agree to disagree and religion becomes a subject you don't discuss. I know people like your roommate who are always trying to force their beliefs on me. I tell them that I appreciate and value that each person has their own spiritual path and I leave it at that. Good luck - this can be a very difficult situation if the other person is not willing to accept that their way is not the ONLY way.
@vijigopi (991)
• United States
17 Jul 07
You can also give snide remarks how his opinion is very funny to you if you want. You can tell him straightaway that you prefer hell to being saved!! or You can ask your owner to put a word to him that he is not being very respectful of others, and that you might be very nasty to him very soon if he is not going to stop. I hope he gets the hint very soon and stops it. Good Luck!
1 person likes this
@loujac3 (1188)
• United States
20 Jul 07
The owner has warned him and next time I am telling him straight out that his attitude is unchristian like and not acceptable. I find him to be ignorant and blind to feelings of others. he does not care for the fact that I do not accept abuse of any sort from people anymore. I straight out told him that I was abused for half my life and now I do not accept it from men in shape or form. That really shut him up!
• Atlantic City, New Jersey
17 Jul 07
Maybe trying to explain to him that your not pushing your beliefs upon him- why does he feel he has to do it to you? I personally do not push my belief system on anyone- and I don't allow people to push thiers on me. If he is a friend/ housemate- he needs to respect that portion of your life!
@182680 (59)
• Netherlands
17 Jul 07
If he is so fanatic you can not stop him. I think it is not good what he is doing. You must respect someones else his faith or religion. Beside that I think that when only the people of his church are going to heaven, that there will not be a lot of people in heaven. Perhaps you can say this to him, or you can say to him that if you believe in Jesus as your savoir you will are good christian. Another thing is that he is pushing people away from the church, this is not a good thing to do.
1 person likes this
@loujac3 (1188)
• United States
20 Jul 07
So true! He really is pushing others away. I was going to visit his church but he has really offended me and I do not care for his attitude.
@whyaskq (7531)
• Singapore
17 Jul 07
I have among my friends of different religions. Discussing religions is one taboo which we observe when we are together. At times, we do share when someone has doubts and bring it up for discussions and views. However, we have our internal 'moderators' amongst us. So when things get out of hand because of a certain people who gets too engrossed and emotionally over it, we will cut it off. As for friends who try to preach too aggressively, I will just tell the person to stop talking to me about it before I lost any respect for him. If he insist, then it is his loss as he would really have lost my respect for him. I happen to be one who keep to my words.
1 person likes this
@loujac3 (1188)
• United States
19 Jul 07
That is a wonderful idea! I will give that a try. I think I really have lost all respect for him since this started. I have never been one to discuss religion because it can ruin friendships and it is not allowed in the work place.
@jodenton (222)
17 Jul 07
There's probably no way you can change his mind....as there is little chance he'll change his. You should perhaps try talking to him, air your feelings that he is making life difficult for you in your own home. If these don't work then the simplest way out of the situation is to move. You can't be a prisoner in your own home.
1 person likes this
@loujac3 (1188)
• United States
19 Jul 07
The last thing I plan on doing is moving. I have spoken with the man who owns the house and he feel the same as I do. He tried talking to the guy and it didn't sink in. He is a little put out by the guy's behavior and lack of respect toward other people's belongings, as well. So now I just walk away. If he continues to spout off then I will tell him to respect my feelings. He is not one to practice what he preaches.
@suspenseful (40313)
• Canada
17 Jul 07
I am a Calvinist, that is I belong to a Reformed Church. The Reformed and Presbyterian Churches believe that God has chosen the believers since the beginning of time, and therefore if you wanted to believe HE would have opened your heart. We also believe that we belong to the only true church which contains all the churches that practice the standards set down by Christ and by St. Paul. However this other person is an Arminian, which most other churches follow, and believe that God needs help (which HE certainly does not) and that his church is the only right one. That is wrong. Tell him to be a little more quiet and respect your feelings, that perhaps he is putting you off. He is not acting like a Christian. A true Christian shows by his life and will wait until you ask him about his belief.
@loujac3 (1188)
• United States
19 Jul 07
Right on! I so agree! I am learning to just walk away when this guy starts spouting off and acting so holy. He has alot to learn and he is failing in so many areas. I continue to go to my church and I know that I feel closest to God there. I also associate it with my mother who passed away years ago. I find peace and contentment in my church and structure that is more traditional. I just feel more at home there. Thank you for your wonderful reply!
17 Jul 07
This is a very difficult situation to be in hun, and not easy to deal with. I guess all you can do is to try and talk to this guy and explain that while you understand his views, you have your own views and he should respect your views too. Tell him that he is upsetting you with his constant remarks and maybe point out that his faith is supposed to be one of tolerance
1 person likes this
@Flint275 (60)
• United States
17 Jul 07
I understand your problem because it has happened to me before with a muslim friend. The one thing that is hard to understand is that he believes that he is trying to save you from hell. this means he cares about you. I am also a born again christian so I know where he is coming from. but religion can not be forced. try to make him understand that the more he try's to talk with you about religion the more you will reject it. tell him instead try to infunance me with your christian ways and actions and show me what being a christian is all about.
@loujac3 (1188)
• United States
19 Jul 07
So true! I am a christian and I practice it in my daily living. I don't push it or preach it but I do believe in it. I go to church most Sundays and I pray several times a day. I was only last month that I started wearing a crucifix again since I felt a need to. My dear friend, who is also on myLot, gave me one for my birthday and I wear it all the time. It is silver and turquoise. I have finally given up on trying to get through to this man since he has blinders on, so to speak. He doesn't hear anything that anyone else is saying and therefore just keeps spouting off what he believes.
• Philippines
17 Jul 07
I'm sorry he's like that. You describe him as fanatic? I guess i was a bit like that when i was "young" & kinda new in my faith. I was so eager "sharing" with a freshman friend..now i don't know if it did her good. I guess it's the approach that labelled some as fanatics. Their intentions are good but because of the "approach" they're more annoying than convincing. When he says church he's probably referring to his local church or an organization. The church also refers to the body of believers with the same faith..from different places and times. Just tell him how you feel about what he's doing..don't attack him or he might be defensive.
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@loujac3 (1188)
• United States
19 Jul 07
My roommate has even tried to tell this guy to back off since his attitude is offensive. I find that I just have to walk away and not discuss religion with him at all. He really isn't practicing what the bible tell us and he has a tendency to take things literally. I think it is possible to put too much into religion and it then spills into the rest of your life and can cause problems. Thank you for your reply!
• United States
17 Jul 07
You will probably not change this person's mind. If he is being rude about it, he is not going about this in a Christian-like fashion. However, evangelizing is the call of all Christians. If I knew of something that could save your life, and I cared about you, I would do everything I could to make sure you got it. If you don't wish to listen to his rants, just politely excuse yourself. You wont get him to stop.
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