when do you just put your hands up in the air and say 'enough is enough'?
By yanjiaren
@yanjiaren (9031)
July 21, 2007 9:28am CST
I decided this morning I am coming to the U.S by third week in August the latest to be with my Man. I haven't set eyes on him since mid April and I am fed up of just sitting at home cooking, cleaning and babysitting while every one else has a good time. I told my Sis this morning. I can only do so much and realize that I also have a life. I am always giving in to other people's demands but it is high time I gave myself a life and a chance to enjoy. When do you say enough is enough and decide you want a life like every one else around you? AT THE END OF THE DAY NO ONE DOES ME ANY FAVOURS so I feel it is high time I gave myself some tlc!!!
4 people like this
16 responses
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
21 Jul 07
You have to call your own shots, barbie. No one should tell you what to do. Make your own decisions and stick to them.
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
21 Jul 07
well I am always putting my life on hold and come my birthday lol..I never even get a look in..time to live..I am 42 and a half enough being a second class citizen even for extended family..
2 people like this
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
21 Jul 07
Hello Yan. Same goes with me. I'm forever taking good care my nieces and nephews and considering the state I'm in, I'm almost at the end of my rope. There's still more underlying deeper reason why I refused to accept anyone on my doorstep anymore.
There's always a limit to how much we can do for other people. It's high time that you should stop sacrificing your own happiness. Life is too short for us and it will be such a waste of time to keep pleasing others.
3 people like this
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
21 Jul 07
I love my sis don't get me wrong but i felt it today in my heart..they are making such a fuss about a family friend's birthday and they are all going out and i am stuck at home doing the babysitting..and when it is my birthday..i never ever get to feel special..apart from my hubby..i never get taken out or even a birthday card..and i am supposed to be family..it hurts..and that' swhy i decided to go early..i have done more than enough for every one..like i said i love my family but if i am less available and have a life..i will get more respect..and if i am just ignored..then at least i have my on life and will be ignored lol..
2 people like this
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
21 Jul 07
Yes sweetie, I can understand you perfectly and clearly. I've been there, done that. I kept reminding myself that I'm not a superwoman. That it is not my obligation to keep looking after everyone. They are out earning money while I'm left here earning cents and dividing my time checking on other's welfare.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
21 Jul 07
About time too! Good for you sis, I think the latest flooding was the final straw that broke the donkey's back! You work damn hard 24/7 in fact you work too hard! You need a break desperately sweetheart and if anyone deserves it you do! You have my number, you know where I am, I just want you to be happy and if you keep putting others first then you will get trodden on. But you know I really appreciate you but I want my sis 100% healthy and I've always told you to get the much needed TLC. Big hugs and well done for making your mind up xxxx
2 people like this
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
21 Jul 07
please send me your no again Wolfie..don't know what I did with it lol..I ill promise to store it in the right place!! I have to fix the paod thing too..haven't forgotten lol.
1 person likes this
@elisata (568)
• Netherlands
21 Jul 07
Sweety, I told you several times before, you are responsible for your own life and happiness. If your hubby is not appreciating you - and I have a strong feeling he is not too focused on his wife - then it is bye bye husband, and carry on with your life. It is high time for you to put a stop to his negligence, I would by long have walked out on him... You can make your own life, you have been showing that yourself the past months over and over again. Put down your foot and like you yourself seems to feel: get a life!
love from Elisabeth
2 people like this
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
21 Jul 07
Oh no..I am in my sister's house..I am going to leave here and go to MY HUSBAND LOL..who lives in the StATES..He is the one person that really gives me value and makes me feel special..
2 people like this
@wooitsmolly (3613)
• United States
21 Jul 07
You have to do what you have to do. Sometimes you have to ask yourself what is going to make you happy and then do it! I think it's great that you are taking a step toward your own happiness for once! Nobody is here to take care of only others, and if we don't take care of ourselves, who will? Good luck :)
2 people like this
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
21 Jul 07
Exactly..I have done my bit for every one..I have no one save the man in America that is waiting for me..that is a great partnership..oh and my Son..but that relationship is always going to be unconditional on my part..
1 person likes this
@brendakaya (2332)
• United States
21 Jul 07
I think you should take the time and take care of yourself, and if you want to go be with your husband, you should go. I'm sure your sister and her family will be fine. In the meantime, it's time for you to be happy.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (157873)
• United States
22 Jul 07
Yan, do not forget you are special to us.((((hug))))
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
21 Jul 07
She has two grown up daughters one 20 and the other 18 they can help her out a bit..they live here so they can chip in and help..I love them to bits but I am not special to anyone except my hubby..I run around everyone here but who makes me a cup of tea when I am tired? no one!!
1 person likes this
@brendakaya (2332)
• United States
21 Jul 07
Heavens yes, they should be able to do plenty of helping out. I can't get any help around here, either. When I broke my foot, and my knee at a different time(yes, I'm clumsy, lol) I still had to do all my cat and dog chores, and whatever housework I could do. It's pretty pathetic, I feel like I couldn't get any help, if it bit me on the nose.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157873)
• United States
21 Jul 07
I thought there was some immigration status thing that was keeping you away from the States. If you can make it here, by all means, get here!!! You will be more productive and happier, and so will he. Let us know when you arrive. No one will take care of you, except you. If I get back that direction this fall or winter, I will let you know. Hugs to you, keep your chin up.
@theknight7 (95)
• South Korea
22 Jul 07
Hello friend, our friends has said alot here, just get up and do what you can, peace!
1 person likes this
@soulist (2985)
• United States
23 Jul 07
I had enough when my man chose his friends over me one night. I really needed him, we hadn't seen each other for months, and he chose to go out with his friends instead of talking to me. He also stopped returning calls and stuff so I just ended it.
@aidonia (4209)
• Greece
21 Jul 07
You are right for everything,you must live your life too or at least they take care about you as you take care about them but..........(I know a BUT never is good) you forget something,you miss your husband but you can see your son.As much you can love and miss your husband can't compare with your son.So is better you miss him than you miss your son.....
PS:I wish you one day (soon) you can have both of them near and don't need to miss anyone...
@jeweledbluerose (3061)
• United States
21 Jul 07
Everyone deserves the right to have a life and to be able to make their own decisions. I wouldn't have lasted as long as you did. I would have been gone the first week of May..lol I wish you well with your travels. Good luck and I hope you enjoy.
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
22 Jul 07
A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do and I say go for it and don't let others stop you either. You know when its the right time to say "enough is enough" so follow your heart and go and see your man. I hope you have a fantabulous time too! Don't worry about everyone else, they can take care of themselves!
2 people like this
@vasishta (73)
• India
22 Jul 07
haha..
nice topic!..
well..
i raise my hand up and tell enough is enough during my History classes...when i get really bored...Damn bored...
i did that only once and i was thrown out of the class....:-)
i cannot do tht again or i will be thrown out of the school!
but..
really nice topic started...
Thanks!
1 person likes this
@wilynn (751)
• Singapore
22 Jul 07
Hey! You're back. I haven't seen you in a while and perhaps I've slacken on my lot. I think you should go and visit your hubby really. Like this few weeks, my boyfriend is having a hard time at work and I see him occasionally. Its really irritating and I'm like quite fed up. I know how it feels and morever yours is for many months. You could take a break and do a little shopping in US. I find US shopping more fun than UK.
I remembered reading about a post on forex on one of your discussions. Could you tell me a little more?
2 people like this
@deebomb (15304)
• United States
22 Jul 07
Honey from what I read here you are just the nanny/house keeper with out the benefits of pay or any thing else a nanny/house keeper would get. They would be made over on their birthday. You are young enough to go to your husband and have a life. Your family can love you and still take advantage of you.. You have to tell them how you feel be cause if you don’t they will think that it is ok to treat you this way. Sometimes families are real dense.
@magicalmerlin (1623)
•
22 Jul 07
Good for you. That is a long time to be apart and you deserve some TLC. I feel like that about my siblings and my mother. I am the youngest of 4 children but seem to have been left coping with my ageing mother. I have tried to get them to help and don't understand their lack of concern. I can't just throw up my hands though as that would leave her completely by herself.
