Love vs arranged Marriage???

 A loving pair - Marriage is an institution which unites two people or sometimes two families.
India
July 31, 2007 10:54pm CST
In India arranged marriages are still popular. You can see literal strangers getting married first and then falling in love later. What do you prefer... loved marriage or arranged marriage? Why?
3 people like this
10 responses
@CEN7777 (858)
• India
2 Aug 07
Hi Anamika, i t is dificult to decidewhich one is better. both marriages need sacrifce, belief and lot of adjustments. It is always better to have life partner which u know and understand. Life is big and by the time u understand each other most of it gone. Arrange marriage is some thing like similarly, but here peoples look in family background and behavour, these are being arranged through some common relatives or friend but now this is also get fabricated. but here break up is not easy as there is involvement of lot of peoples and relatives some times u r being forced to continue or go with big loss financial and mental. Love marriage also same but it is come out of small duration, as couple did not know each other from long time. in india we belive more on arranged marriages as we values our joint families and also we are that much financialy independent. In my view both marriages are suceesful if u belive in u r partner,under stand feelings by keeping u r self at his/ her position avoid misunderstanding. Think before u speak , be cool and play u r role honestly. I have got arranged marriage but I do not hate love marriages.
3 people like this
• India
2 Aug 07
Hi Mahesh! I like your response. Your reply has a lot of wisdom in it. I am marking your response my best response to this discussion. I guess this is your first best response of many to come. Congrats! Happy Posting!
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (56752)
• Delhi, India
1 Aug 07
Good Post indeed! But I think, the one who is yet to get married, can answer your query in a better way. Mine was a arranged marriage....(I did not get a chance .......for going for love marriage....LOL!) My opinion is...if you know your partner, well in advance, then you might face less problems in your marraige (although there is no such guarntee)..since you are already aware about your partner's nature [(plus and minus points)...in case of love marriage] so you can adjust yourself accordingly after marriage. But in arranged marriage, considerable time is consumed in getting to know each other....it takes years together to know the real partner and in arranged marriage...you need to generate 'love & affection' by trying to adjust with your partner and by trying to please him/her, after you get married. And it is not necessary that in your effort to generate 'love & affection' you will surely succeed..you may or may not. On the other hand, there is also no guarantee or sure short that if you go for love marriages..it will surely be successful. What is your own opinion about this issue? How are You? Deepak
• India
1 Aug 07
Hi Deepak! Have'nt you heard the saying "love is blind"? When you are in love you very rarely notice the bad qualities in your partner. Well, atleast in an arranged marriage your family would stand by you if something goes wrong. But when you have a love marriage your family may not support you in any manner as it was purely your choice. Have a nice day!
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (56752)
• Delhi, India
1 Aug 07
Hi! Anamika! You have summed up the issue very well. I forget to mention the point which you have mentioned....that in Love people tend to igonore the negative aspect of their partner.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56752)
• Delhi, India
1 Aug 07
I am not sure.....it this is fully true that in arranged marraige family does support you... but I entirely agree with you that when one go for love marriage, against the wishes of one's family...their families do not support...and it can have an adverse effect on their married life...because family support after marriage if very crcucial and important. I have seen it happening to my near and dear ones...they went for love marriage, against parents wishes...and faced the consequences of offending their respective families. Have a nice day! Rated!
1 person likes this
• China
2 Aug 07
it doesn't matter to me. someone says that marriage is the grave for love. i say marriage can also be the cradle for love. after dating with your love for quite a long time, you both feel you have known each other quite well and you get married. but quite possibly you will feel diappointed of your marriage life----not passionate as before, not romantic as before and even you doubt whether love still exist between you as time goes by. so there is a saying---there would be troubles in the seventh year of marriage. arranged marriage also has its own bad effects, which is not avoidable. but if you take it easy , you will find such kind of marriage full of interests and you can love each other more and more each day.
• United States
1 Aug 07
An arranged marriage certainly would take a lot of pressure off! On the other hand, if I didn't like the guy . . . I've been raised without the idea that one must marry first and THEN fall in love. I'd be too rebellious and head strong and the whole thing would probably be a disaster! I remember my parents' reactions to my various boyfriends. If I had married one of the ones they liked I'd be a miserable person by now, abused and most likely divorced as well.
@Nanette99 (220)
• Canada
1 Aug 07
I had a friend living here in Canada. Her parents gave her the option of choosing her own husband in her own time, or allowing her family to arrange a marriage for her back home in India. She chose to return to India. She said that it took the pressure off of her and that know one knew her better than her family; she trusted them to make the right decision for her. I can kind of see the logic behind her decision. After all, some girls keep falling for the same bad guy over and over. It might be a relief to have someone else step in. All I can say, though, is that my friend must have a much better relationship with her parents than I do mine. I can't even trust my mom to pick out a suitable Christmas present for me.
2 people like this
@lilaclady (28227)
• Australia
1 Aug 07
The feeling of love is so precious it would be so sad to miss out on that, I believe everyone is given a gift of life and it should be up to that person to travel that road with their own choices no one should ever meddle in someone elses journey, parents have had their chance...besides i couldn't imagine doing the wjole love making thing with anyone I wasn't in love with...
• Philippines
1 Aug 07
i prefer loved marriage. well, it is also prevalent among the Chinese. actually my ancestors engaged in such but dad and his siblings did not already continue that tradition. its so unfair to be in an arranged marriage because you cannot choose who you are gonna love. you will just marry the person because of his wealth or power.
2 people like this
• India
7 Aug 07
Dear friend, I will always prefer "Lovely Arranged Marriage" I think that marriage should be done if there is any love...And secondly therer should be matching of waveleng of mind.. So there should be mental compactibility...So I always prefer "Lovely Arranged Marriage".
1 person likes this
• India
7 Aug 07
Hi saurabh! You mean you prefer a love plus arranged marriage. Yeah, I like the idea too about getting married to someone who loves you and whose wavelengh matches you and at the sametime accepted by your families as well. Mental compatability in partner is a good thing to lookout too. Thanks for responding.
1 person likes this
• India
2 Aug 07
ARRANGED MARRIAGES as i know or my knowledge Arrange marriages are far more sucessful than LOVE MARRIAGE. As i know once there was a survey conducted in some country and there where almost i.e more than 50% marriages that were Unsucessful. And as per me ARRANGED MARRIAGE would be far more superior than LOVE MARRIAGE. ARRANGE ARRANGE ARRANGE it rules i am not married
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• Switzerland
1 Aug 07
Love, of course.
1 person likes this