I'm really sad....
By maildumpster
@maildumpster (3815)
United States
August 1, 2007 10:49pm CST
Yesterday my friend had a baby. I went to see her and the new baby today. I really enjoyed seeing and holding her.
Well now tonight I find myself in a real funk. For one thing holding her made me realize how badly I want another baby. I just can't have another. Too much bad stuff went on in my last pregnancy ... premature birth and much more after. Not to mention the cost of raising another child!
But you know what really has me down....
I love this girl (as a sister before any of the dirty minds on this board take that one too far LOL). My son turned three in June. I called this girl during my pregnancy (it was really bad and I could have really used a friend like her at the time). I called her many times over the past few years. Problem is to save money they live in her parent's basement and they don't have their own phone line. So 95% of the time when I call her mother answers. Don't get me wrong I love her mother and I know she likes me and all but I don't think she ever gave her daughter the messages.
I just can't imagine that she would not have called back in almost three years (communication increased after she got pregnant but not by much). I am really sad about this (not quite sure why it is bothering me so much today).
I want to discuss this with my friend but I know that now with the new baby it isn't the right time.
But then again when is the right time to say ...
" you know I have gone thru a lot in the past few years. I tried calling you cause I really needed a friend but you never returned my calls. Why? Didn't you get the messages?"
Someone say something... give me advice... cheer me up ... something.....
4 people like this
9 responses
@Debs_place (10520)
• United States
2 Aug 07
I understand how you feel, nothing like needing someone and no one there. I would leave well enough alone, you are now in contact with your friend. Maybe there were problems with Mom and her living there etc.
At some point you may want to tell her that you had called and you were wondering if she ever got the messages...maybe she was going through something too.
But look forward instead of back and be glad you and your friend are back together.
2 people like this
@sid556 (30953)
• United States
2 Aug 07
I'm sorry that you are feeling down in the dumps. It seems that visiting this baby has stirred up some old hurts for you. I know also that it hurt that your friend was not there for you in your time of need. I am thinking that perhaps she never got the messages? I don't know but you do say that you KNOW she would not deliberatly hurt you. I wouldn't bring up the subject....at least not now. Maybe down the road if it is still bothering you, you could ask her about it in a non-confrontational way. hope your sadness passes quickly.
@maildumpster (3815)
• United States
2 Aug 07
That is really what I want to know.... did she not get the messages? I don't think so. I just don't think she would ignore EVERY message over the course of 2 1/2 years!
@weemam (13372)
•
3 Aug 07
i am so pleased you have your friend now , But Iknow what you mean about the not knowing , I would say something like "I am so pleased everything is OK with us now , I was really worried a while back when you didn't answer my calls , I thought I might have done something to hurt you without realizing it , I think to pal that all of us women get a bi broodie when we handle new babies , I think this is inbuilt in us all , even us pensioners lol , enjoy your friendship pal , we all need someone to talk to at times xxx
@sharkee (64)
• China
2 Aug 07
You should definitely talk to her about it. If you feel it might turn into something too deep, add a little humour to it or make it a by-the-way kind of thing. Just talk about how much her pregnancy reminds you of yours, and how much you needed a friend back then and then say something like "don't you agree?" and continue on to say something like "...wow, I can't remember how many times I called and your mum picked up the phone, I must have frustrated the life out of her...(and then wait to see if she knows anything about that)".
@kelly60 (4546)
• United States
3 Aug 07
I think that being around new babies has that affect on most of us. The only difference is that when I start to think that way I quickly realize that my "new mommy" days are over and it is time to be a grandma instead. I am sorry that you can't have another one though, if that is what you want.
As for your friend, I don't think that I would bring it up right now. I would bring it up before too long though because obviously it is something that is really bothering you, and will continue to bother you until you get an answer to your question. Make sure you bring it up in a non confrontational way though. I like the suggestion above, where you mention that you are glad that things are ok between the two of you now because you thought there might have been a problem. This gives her a chance to talk to you about it without feeling cornered.
I hope that you will cheer up and try not to let this get to you any more than you already have. I know that it has to be hard on you, but you will get through it. My suggestion is that you should do something to pamper yourself. That might cheer you up a bit.
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
2 Aug 07
My friend, I am so sorry that this has happened to you...I would probably begin by telling her how much your friendship with her means to you and how badly you have missed her alot...By expressing a sense of accusations....try letting her know just how you fell about her...then ask her if you being in her life is in some way an inconvinance....then go from there once she has had a chance to respond...
I hope that this helped in some small way...
@sunshinecup (7871)
•
2 Aug 07
Me I would let the past go. It bites she wasn't there or at least it seems that way, but that is the past. I have had this many times in my life, but I just have to stop and ask myself, is it that important now? I am good at letting things go, so maybe it's just me. I would be hurt and bothered, but in the end, would it change anything by bringing it up now or would it just make her feel obligated to call you? You know what I am saying? I don't like putting people on the spot unless they are jerks. So something like this, I would just let go.
BTW I have re-worded this several times trying not to sound like a snot. Just know I am not trying to put you down in any way. Maybe it's just me today, but I feel like I sound like a twit, LOL.
@vinzen (1020)
• India
2 Aug 07
Hi, hey you should cheer up and be happy for your friend who has had a baby, and congratulate and feel good for her. I can imagine how you feel, and i ge\uess the feeling does ariose more so when you know you want something really bad but cannot have it, all i can say is pray and maybe someday your wish will be fullfilled too, remain positive and have the belief in God and all will be well.
@nemokaxi (1)
• China
2 Aug 07
well,i know only a little english and i can't understand you quite well,but l really know there may be something wrong between you and your friend.since you can't communicate with her through phone,i think it may be better that you drop on her when it is possible and talk to her face to face
