I owe my mother

United States
August 6, 2007 10:37pm CST
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why." 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 7. My mother taught me IRONY "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!" 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home." 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!" 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way." 19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father." 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." 25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
1 person likes this
7 responses
@lp_apudi (39)
• India
8 Aug 07
Its all so true. That was great to read and with your permission I would like to share with others. And thanks to your mother. I also owe to her as she made me remember certain things which I forgot to use for my two grown up sons. Good job done
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Aug 07
Makes you laugh huh.
@LadyDulce (830)
• United States
8 Aug 07
Oh my god, lol. My momma used to say ALL of that to me, and more. Her favorite involved the light bill: "Shut that door, you're running up the light bill!" Every day without fail. Sad thing is, I'm already using every d@mn one of them!
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Aug 07
Crazy huh.
@gapeach65 (805)
• United States
7 Aug 07
That's great, thanks for sharing it. It is all so true, I remember being told and using those same lines. I can't wait to share this with everyone. I happened to use #25 exactly as written the other day to my 18 year old son...too funny!
• United States
7 Aug 07
oh wow thats cool.
@jillmalitz (5132)
• United States
7 Aug 07
LOL! Don't tell my grown children! That's the same stuff I told them and my mother told me! Now they have kids of their own and it is Pay Back Time!
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Aug 07
lol payback time....lol
@horsesrule (1959)
• United States
7 Aug 07
These are really great. I've heard most of the them at one time or another from mom but seeing them all in one place is really funny!
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Aug 07
It is very funny isnt it.?
@butterfly39 (3907)
• Philippines
7 Aug 07
well..so cool and you really make me laugh lol...I just copied it and I have to share it with some friends.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Aug 07
Glad I could make you laugh.
@Feona1962 (7527)
• United States
7 Aug 07
Wow! Do I remember my grama saying these things to me. Her favorite was, "don't roll your eyes at me, I'll roll them back in your head." How funny, thanks for sharing..
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Aug 07
Too funny right.