How do you handle your child being bullied in school?

@rinkub (231)
India
August 12, 2007 5:41am CST
There was a time last year when everyday my six year-old son would come home complaining about one or two boys particularly. They would be at him through the day. One day, one of them boxed him, another day, his tiffin-box was thrown into the dustbin, a third day somebody would be making fun of his sirname. It became so regular and when he started crying about all this, I spoke to the class teacher about it in as gently a manner as possible. Thereafter, the class teacher seemed to have ticked the boys off and the complaints stopped. But, I've often wondered that now that my son is older and complaints are not really entertained by the teachers, if the child is being genuinely bullied, what should be done without either hurting our child's dignity or starting a feud between the boys?
2 people like this
7 responses
@nikkiwith (1074)
• Australia
12 Aug 07
Not enough is being done about bullying. If i was a teacher then i would be doing everything possible to have the incidents dealt with. When my daughter goes to school i will take matters into my own hands if she is ever bullied. Sometimes you have to look at and blame the parents of the "bullies".
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30989)
• United States
13 Aug 07
At age 6? This is crazy. If I got no results from the teachere, I'd go to the principal and schedule a meeting between the boys involved and the parents. Here the boys could all air their thoughts. Do you know why they are picking on your son? The bullies parents need to be aware of how their kids are acting and be held accountable to do something about it. If it isn't corrected now they will eventually hurt someone. Bullying should not be tolerated! As young as these kids are, there is a chance that something could be done to change their ways.
@rinkub (231)
• India
13 Aug 07
Its correct to inform the kid's parents. It is almost always the kind of upbringing that a child's had is reflected in his behaviour. In fact, just last Saturday, there was a parent-teacher's meet and the teacher told the parents how shocked she was when she found some boys impudent and disrespectful. She clearly ticked off the parents. You are right. I think, there's still time to reform such kids.
@tim_un (355)
• Malaysia
13 Aug 07
if my child being bullied in school, i will meet up with his teacher and discuss about this issue. If teacher could not help up, then i might talk to the naughty boy's parent on the bad attitude.
@rinkub (231)
• India
13 Aug 07
If the bullying has been on for a while, then on receiving complaints from parents the teachers have called the bully's parents and told them sternly to get their child to behave. But, I wonder what will happen when the boys will get bigger and stronger. My kid, as I see it will not be very tall or heavy. Physically he might get overpowered. Thats what worries me. Yes, learning some form of self-defence tactics will stand him in good stead, I suppose.
@rlydick (57)
• United States
13 Aug 07
I Was Bullied In School Myself. I Dont Really Know Why, But Other Kids Picked On Me. I Came To Conclusion That They Did This Because I Let Them. I Was Always Told By My Parents Never To Start A Fight, But Always Be The One To End It. The First Fight I Was In Was In 6Th Grade But Being The Other Kid Started It, I Didnt Get In Trouble Even Though He Was Out Of School For A While. You Would Be Suprised How Much Respect I Gained And How Quickly Kids Stopped Picking On Me. Now, Im Not Saying Tell Your Son To Get In A Fight, But I Would Tell Him To Stand Up To Them. And Believe Me, Talking To A Bully Will Not Do Anything At All. I Know This From Experience. They Dont Care What The Kid Has To Say. Ally They Care About Is Taking Their Frustrations Out On Other People Because They Were Never Taught How To Deal With Problems. But, Personally, I Wouldnt Let My Son Be Bullied. It Can Cause Emotional Problems Down The Road And What Not.
@rinkub (231)
• India
13 Aug 07
Actually, best is to ignore as long as its not physical. I believe that there are all kinds of people. Just because someone's trying to humiliate you or forcing you to do certain things, you don't get any smaller. Just ignore. Perhaps the bully might get disinterested after a while when he/she finds that his victim's not getting affected. But, if force is used its another matter altogether.
@seabeauty (1480)
• United States
12 Aug 07
It was once thought that bullies had a low self esteem. That is not the case. They actually have high self esteems and are definitely not cowards. Tell your son to talk to them first then if they don't stop to tell him to tell the teacher. Hitting the other kids is not the answer.
@rinkub (231)
• India
13 Aug 07
Yes, thats what I've told him. Retaliate by explaining to the boy that what he's doing is wrong. Give him a couple of verbal warnings and then to complain to the teacher. I wonder what'll happen once they grow up. Complaining to the teacher may be embarrassing for the child. I think he must learn to defend himself at the time.
@freak369 (5121)
• United States
12 Aug 07
If you don't get results from the teacher go to the principal or headmaster. If that doesn't work, go to the school board or counsel and speak with them. No child should ever have to endure teasing or bullying. Our local school district passed several laws regarding it but they rarely enforce it.
@rinkub (231)
• India
12 Aug 07
What bothers me is what should I teach my son at the same time. Should he respond in a similar manner or just ignore it? What I've told my son is that if anyone hits you or hurts you in any way, give him a warning and let him know that you, too, are capable of replying in a fitting manner. Give him two chances but the third time round, go ahead and complain to the superiors concerned. Is that okay?
@artemis432 (7474)
• Abernathy, Texas
15 Aug 07
A child has the right to feel safe in school. Its hard to say what should be done to save the child's dignity but I would suggest having guest speakers come to the school and address the class as a whole - that way no one is singled out. Make it someone who will win over the class or really get their attention.