Why don't men pay attention?!?!
By cynddvs
@cynddvs (2948)
United States
September 4, 2007 1:41pm CST
Sorry guys, I just have to vent about this for a second.
I have a meeting tomorrow night with the girls that I work with to discuss our website and the new updates that are coming up and ways to improve the site. This meeting is only 2 hours long and I've known about it for 2 weeks now. I've also been telling my fiance about it for 2 weeks now. He knows I've been very excited about the meeting because I have a lot of great ideas I want to share and talk about and he also knows I can't bring our daughter with me this time. This means he will have to watch her if he's not working late.
Well earlier I was talking to him about the meeting and was making sure he would be able to watch Sena tomorrow night. His response was "Well if I have to then I guess so". What kind of response is that?!?! And he continues with "It would have been nice to have a little notice". 2 weeks isn't enough notice??
For one thing I shouldn't have to ask him to watch our daughter. He's her dad! It's not like he's her babysitter. And another thing he rarely watches her for me to do things. Either he is working while I am out without my daughter so I have to leave her with other family or he just has other plans. I think it would be good for him to stay with her for a little while without me. He just has no patience and she's 2. The last time he watched her for me to work an event he called me freaking out wanting me to come home.
Am I wrong to be mad about this? I'm planning on talking to him about this later. He's taking a nap right now and lord knows I don't want to talk to him about this when he's tired!
2 people like this
12 responses
@theprogamer (10534)
• United States
15 Sep 07
Sigh, and I could say the same for women. Sometimes women don't pay attention to things either. I already ranted earlier in the thread so you won't get another dose here. I'm glad you are gonna talk to him about this lopsided problem with the child, but you have to realize that relationships require cooperation, negotiation and patience. For one thing, it seems like you've disregarded patience when it comes to your husband, his personality and needs, but you require him to show a 100% effort in patience toward you and the child. Do not mistake me, he does need to step up more, but I just wanted to point out your throwing rocks from the inside of a glass house. At least you still have the crystal stairway though.
1 person likes this
@cynddvs (2948)
• United States
15 Sep 07
I completely understand what you are saying. I know both male and female have their shortcomings. What a man might think is very important a female could completely disregard and vice versa. I may have come across as quite harsh and like a b*tch in my original post and I understand that. I posted this discussion in the heat of my anger. One good thing about MyLot is that I can come on here and vent to everyone and sound like a total b*tch and then calm down and be more rational when I talk to my fiance. So while it may seem like on here that I am impatient with him this is actually my outlet to vent so that I can be more patient with him. Sometimes it's good for me to come and post here on MyLot so that people like yourself can look at what I say and tell me "whoa, you need to chill out!". Neither of us are perfect and both of us need to work on our patience with each other and I do realize that. Believe me I know I am beyond perfect in this relationship and I don't believe I act like I am perfect.
@theprogamer (10534)
• United States
15 Sep 07
I am sorry about that Cynd, but in discussions like this I do tend to get a blood boil. It happens. But at least you did clear up some confusion I had about your situation. I do hope you are able to get your husband to understand your situation, just like you can come to the table with him on things like free time for the both of you, separate or together.
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
5 Sep 07
How frustrating for you. It's strange how guys act like they are doing you a favour when it's their child.
1 person likes this
@Fishmomma (11377)
• United States
5 Sep 07
I would certainly wait until he is not tired. Sorry your having issues about time and two weeks seems long enough to me. Good luck and maybe a board that he walks past regularly would help you now. I have a chalkboard right next to my door, so my husband can't tell me he didn't know I would be busy.
@my1stforum (59)
• India
5 Sep 07
Men will be Men , They can Never be good babysitters.
Its all GOD's Fault He only Made them like That
Ha ha ha ha ha ?
1 person likes this
@BinKsBaBy (505)
• United States
15 Sep 07
OH wow I know your pain, my daughters dad gave me the same BS *note thats a LARGE part o the reason that we are not together* But even now to this day no matter what I have to do I cant get him to take her with out him calling me asking how long .... its sad but my hubby even before when he was my BF would watch her more and without any fight for me and its still that way, so I guess I ended up getting lucky in the end.Good Luck!
1 person likes this
@flowerchilde (12529)
• United States
4 Sep 07
Yah, some men (and well, women too) seem like they could use a good cold reality splash once in awhile.. You know just a harmless dash of cold water, to say "dah, anybody in there?"
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
4 Sep 07
You do have a right to be upset. She is his responsiblily as much as she is yours. He should be able and more than willing to keep her for you. I would also remind him that you told him about it two weeks ago, but he will say that you should have reminded him closer. We are not their schedule keepers and he should be able to remember and do his part.
1 person likes this
@carlaabt (3504)
• United States
4 Sep 07
I hate it when guys act like they are doing you a favor because they are watching THEIR kids. I would definitely talk to him about it, and let him know that you need more help with him. Tell him you know he is working a lot more and bringing in most of the money, but your daughter needs to spend some time with her daddy, too.
My husband is pretty good about taking care of our son when I ask him to, but he rarely volunteers to do it on his own. He's better than a lot of his friends, though. A lot of them are the kind that say "Wanna go do something?" When my husband says he can't, they make fun of him and say things like "You babysit too much! Make your wife do it." They are idiots, though. lol They also say my husband should buy whatever he wants to, because they think our money is "His" just because he is the one out working for it.
Tell your fiance how important it is for his relationship with his daughter, that he spend some time with her. I'm sure he wants to have a good relationship with her, maybe he just doesn't know how.
1 person likes this
@KarenO52 (2950)
• United States
5 Sep 07
It seems so unfair that you have the main responsibility of making sure that you have someone available to care for your daughter while you're at work. You should be able to get out on your own for a little bit every now and then as well. Maybe your fiance should be spending more time with your daughter. When my kids were small, I never had much time to myself, and rarely was able to get out alone for any reason. I was afraid to leave the kids at home with my husband, because he would fall asleep and let them roam around the house, and they'd get into all kinds of stuff. He was better with them when they got a little older.
1 person likes this
@daryljane (3406)
• Philippines
4 Sep 07
i just dont like it when theyre like that...my live in partner used to be like than when were still together..when he get home from working abroad, he doesnt even spend much time with our son. instead he went and sleep or watch tv or cleans his bike...when i tell him to do things for our son, you can see theres this look on his face that i really hate.
well, there are times that i think he isnt ready being a father..when he cant spend time with our son. is that too much to do being his father???
