Marriage regrets

@matt24 (25)
Philippines
September 12, 2007 1:58am CST
Often times when my spose and I fight which is typical between husbands and wives, I ask myself if I regret marrying him. I feel regret alright, but its not the choice to marry him. I guess its just regrets that I couldnt please him the way he wants to be pleased or I have diffrent views or beliefs I cant change and so much more disagreements, that leads to quarrels. Sometimes I ask myself if I wished to be married to someone else. Surprisingly, inspite our imperfections, I still choose to marry the same person. I guess when you take that marriage path, it is important that you dont have any hang ups with any former lover. By then, you will be sure that when marriage is being tested,for whatever reason, and no matter how long the separation is,in the end the same couple who will always end up together.
2 people like this
12 responses
@lingli_78 (12834)
• Australia
12 Sep 07
marriage is a lifetime commitment and it is about accepting each other's differences... not only the good things... but the bad things as well... this is the most difficult part... most couples separate because they simply can't respect and accept each other's differences... i and my hubby also still working on this... but i will never regret marrying him... God has been so good to me by giving me him and He knows that he is the best for me... i always thank God for this and for me, marrying him is the best thing that had ever happened to me... good luck and God Bless...
@tigertang (1749)
• Singapore
17 Sep 07
Marriage is a lifetime commitment and I think my biggest regret is the fact that I was unable to live upto my commitment. My wife and I divorced three years ago. I think we finally realised that there was no point carrying on a relationship that was....abusive and unproductive. Although many of the people around me tell me this was an inevitable cause of events, I sometimes wonder what could have happened if we had done something to make it work. Could it have worked? I don't know but it took a while for me to get used to life without her in the background. When I look back, I guess we really were not meant to be. She and I wanted different things in life and I think problems started when she tried to change me and I resisted being changed. I'm just sorry we could learn to accept the good, bad and ugly about each other.
@amirev777 (4124)
• India
16 Sep 07
Hi! one day my friend had worn a T-shirt which read NOT ALL THE MEN IN THIS WORLD ARE FOOLS-SOME DONT MARRY!!.all the men regret marrying-its said WOMEN CRY TILL THEY GET MARRIED WHILE MEN START CRYING AFTER MARRIAGE.i dont this many womwn regret marrying!
• China
13 Sep 07
Yeah, I agree that if one has choose a lover, he or she must stand to his or her feet, not be a waver. There may be argue or quarrel due to different point of view or different tast. But do not expect one who share the same views and tastes to be the better one for you. Your MR RIGHT OR MISS RIGHT is the best one for you for he or she is THE RIGHT ONE. And I think it is the different views and acts make the world colorful, rich and beautiful. If everybody, esp. the one you always stand with is always the same with you, you'll easily get dull and the relationship between you will be more likely to break up. So just cherish the one now with you.
@ayu_asks (104)
• United States
13 Sep 07
yeah i do have the same kind of argument with my hubby more often than not. Deep down I know he's the best for me; and sometimes I forgot to be grateful of what I have. However in marriages these kind of thoughts are NORMAL and I believe things always turn out for the better ~ no matter what it is. .. .. cheers... myhandbaghaven.blogspot.com
• United States
12 Sep 07
marriage should be a unity and not fighting and arguing and such.
@cutepenguin (6447)
• Canada
12 Sep 07
I think a lot of is that no person or couple if perfect, and even though I love my husband and would choose to be with him again if the choice presented itself, he still has characteristics that drive me bonkers, and he'll always have them/
• South Africa
12 Sep 07
Good for you! Here is something for you to share with your spouse: 12 Rules for a happy marriage: Never be both angry at the same time Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire Remember, it takes two quarrel- the one who is wrong will be doing most of the quarreling Yield to the wishes of the other-as an exercise in self-discipline, if you can't think of a better reason If you have a choice between making yourself or you spouse looking good, choose your spouse If you feel you must critize, do it lovingly Never bring up a mistake of the past Neglect the world rather than each other Never let the day end without saying at least one complimentary thing to your spouse Never meet without an affectionate greet When you have made a mistake, talk it out and ask for forgiveness Never go to bed angry
@jbrooks0127 (2326)
• United States
12 Sep 07
It would seem that any relationship between a man and woman that goes beyond the first date begins to have problems. We are so different and see life in such a different manor that it is amazing we still want to marry. I was married to my first wife for 37 years. I am married again. My first wife could not seem to be happy with me so found temporary happiness in other men. She did this many times early in our marriage but I found out about it many years later. It took a crises counselor to get me past that but we went on. Then it happened again and that was too much for me and I divorced her. One would think that I would have learned my lesson but no I am married again. We get along well but also have our problems. But you are so right that we need to put our past behind us before jumping into a new relationship....especially marriage. I am not sorry I did but it could have turned out so much worse. My best to you.
• India
12 Sep 07
this shows just how much you love your husband, the fact that you think that you could not change yourself to please him. but i think this is the best, a little bit of fighting is like the spice of life. few couples are perfect, and sometimes perfection is very boring. i too have my regrets. sometimes i regret the very decision of getting married. i look at girls who are not married, how free they are to spend their evenings as they want, how free they are to go anywhere and everywhere while i have to rush home every evening. its like i have dropped my anchor and no matter how much i would like to, i just can't set sail again. but the next moment i think of my husband and my son and inside me i feel as if i have done the right thing.
@riyasam (16567)
• India
12 Sep 07
yes ,marraige means sacrifice.when someones will is bend,there are regrets.i think thats the meaning of oneness.
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
12 Sep 07
That is something we all feel from time to time,especially when we argue,we even think we made a mistake,but thats just a natural feeling for anyone to have at some time or other...Marriage is a give and take situation,we have to just be ourselves,and do not change ourselves but learn to live with each other and just accept the other partners views ,even if you disagree...No one is alike,we just have to learn to accept how they feel.You still have a right to be different..he should never try to change you and should not try to change them.It takes a lot of time to become very stable.Over the years you finally will become ajusted and things get much better.As long as you love each other ,it will survive.
@SHAMRACK (8586)
• India
12 Sep 07
Hi, Marriage is one of difficult bond I had signed in my life. It really made me have a long mental stress and metally distrubed. Still I hope if you do not any childern it is better to get departed before the child suffers any from their parents. In situations like this it only those husband and wife has to take finall decisions whether they can go along or cannot. This has to deceided soon if any problems are arising every time and creating more further family problesm. Or just go for a better consulting a good family consultant. Hope for very happy life.