I saw a divorce lawyer today!!! Dr. for testing tomorrow!!!
By raydene
@raydene (9871)
United States
September 24, 2007 7:18pm CST
Hello Friends,
I went to a lawyer today..It was the tallest mountain I've climbed in a long while..I had a hard time getting out of my car and going inside.
I am so glad I did it though..If he doesn't act like a total as5 we can do this very easily with a legal separation then it will be a divorce in a year.I just don't want the kids to get hurt. And I don't want to hurt him..I just don't want to be with him ever again.
I will have to scare up $2500 for a retainer!Then we can move forward.
My lawyer is very nice and made it easy for me. He went through the same thing 3 years ago with a wife that cheated so he knows what I am going through.
Next hurdle is to see my doctor tomorrow AM for testing for stds!..I never imagined I would be having that test..never thought I'm have a need for it!!
Someone told me yesterday that they heard one of the women has HIV...I am terrified..The scary thing is that I have heard that she has a tumor and I do know that aids patients often have cancer!
No matter what Folks..I will be ok...6 months ago I was near suicide..Now I soooo want to live...I am getting healthy and stronger...but I will eat what I find on my plate and be happy for it!
Thanks for your support..I just don't know what I would do without you.
Hugs..great big bear hugs
7 people like this
19 responses
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
25 Sep 07
Brava1. You took the first step. It is always the hardest.I am glad that you are feeling better. And I hope everything with the testing goes okay. Try not o worry about the kids , as long as they can feel that both parents love them , they will be okay.Take Care.
2 people like this
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
25 Sep 07
Good for you Sweetie. I can imagine how hard it must have been to go into the Lawyers office, you are a lot stronger then you give yourself credit for. I really hope that everything goes well with the Doctor, and I hope the seperation then divorce goes through smoothly as well. I am so sorry though that all of this happened to you my dear. Take care and keep us posted please! Love & Hugzz.
2 people like this
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
26 Sep 07
Very true my friend! Glad to see your staying positive :)
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (169479)
• United States
25 Sep 07
Good steps you are taking, and do not believe everything you hear. Lots of people get tumors for lots of reasons other than HIV. Some people get a ghoulish delight in passing on gossip like that. You just get your tests, then let us know how things are going. Hugs to you.
2 people like this
@DJ9020 (1594)
• United States
25 Sep 07
Just one step at at time, just as you're doing. You can make it on your own, with your friends to support you. Stay strong, both for youself and your children. And you don't have to 'be happy for it', you're entitled to be angry and upset! Just don't take it out on the children. Feel what you need to feel, then go out and take care of your business!
2 people like this
@nmhschic2004 (1238)
• United States
25 Sep 07
Good for you raydene! I hope that everything turns out ok at the doctor. Im very sorry to hear what you had to go through. And im sure your kids will be fine. Im sure they are strong if they are as strong as you are. Just stay wrong and remember you are never alone. *hugs*
2 people like this
@brendakaya (2332)
• United States
25 Sep 07
It's so good to hear you're doing better. It's sad that your husband did this to you. SOme men just don't think, or care about what they're doing to their wives. I've gone through the same stuff with my husband. He's cheated on me, several times, and though I've never divorced him, I'd like to, just don't have the money to do so. I don't love him anymore, and I will never trust him. He won't leave because I pay all the bills, and he's basically just a sponge. So, I truly congratulate you for being able to take the big step, and get on with your life. I'm at a standstill with mine, so I envy you, and truly wish you the best. Take care.
@raydene (9871)
• United States
25 Sep 07
Honey, I don't have a choise..This is my life..and it just might be the only one I get so I can not afford to waste it on someone that doesn't deserve me..I am loyal so I deserve a loyal mate not this lying,cheating,sneaky man that I do not even know!!
Take a deep breath and say..Get to Fxxk out ..and mean it..The money is not important..Just get him out and things will fall into place..You deserve better Doll..we all do..accept nothing less then you are worth!
Hugs Doll
xoxoxoxo
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
25 Sep 07
Sweetheart do not worry to much over that please you know what People are like if they can make more out of it they will you should know that
I am glad thought that you are going for teting and that way you can settle your Mind to
You know you are in my thoughts all the way through this
Love you
Your Angel xxxxxx
@Darkwing (21583)
•
27 Sep 07
It seems to me that your life is full of trauma and hill-climbing at the moment, my dear friend, but navigate this well, and you'll be on the downward side, in the sunshine and with the kids you love in support of you.
I know you have the strength to do this, but my thoughts and "prayers" will be with you. One woman with HIV and a tumour is not so bad when all is considered. PMA is what is needed here and I know you can find it. Your tests will be great and you have nothing to worry about. You are going to come out of this a better and happier woman, so quit the worrying and push on ahead. You'll wonder what all the fuss was about when you've gotten the worst parts out of the way.
Brightest Blessings.
@raydene (9871)
• United States
2 Oct 07
Hi Sweets, I am going forward..sometimes a snail could rush past me but I still will go forward. I have thought alot about your friend and am sending positive thoughts in hopes she will find a place. You are a good friend ..and I appreciate that..oxxoxoxoxo
@abbey19 (3106)
• Gold Coast, Australia
25 Sep 07
I know it's tough for you Raydene, but you will be stronger for it - in fact, I can see that you are already stronger, and more positive than every. You will get through it - just take a day at a time honey.
We are always here for you, and you are in many of our prayers to give you the strength to get through it. You are not on your own.
1 person likes this
@raydene (9871)
• United States
27 Sep 07
Thanks Love, I will make it..I will Make it..I will make it...I just keep telling myself this..
Thanks for all your love and support Abbey..I just sent another free stuff email to you..I have gotten a ton of free stuff from them so far.
xoxoxoxox
1 person likes this
@susieq223 (3742)
• United States
30 Sep 07
Sometimes things just don't make sense and no one can say much of anything to help. Just know you are not alone. I'm glad you keep us posted here.
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23706)
•
26 Sep 07
Well done Mom I am so proud of you as I know it must have been really hard for you to go to that lawyer!
I( am positive that you don't have HIV - not if there is ANY justice in this world - have you asked him if he was safe?
I am praying for you and miss you so much - you know I am here if you need me - haven't been on much but I have new spectacles now and the screen doesn't look so fuzzy so I will be here more now! xxx
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23706)
•
30 Sep 07
Sorry this has taken so long Mom - just not had the energy to get online much! Don't worry i will be fine eventually! We all send our love straight back to you - I so wish i could give you a huge hug for real - I keep buying those lottery tickets! xxx
1 person likes this
@raydene (9871)
• United States
27 Sep 07
Hi Doll, Yes I asked if he was safe and if he asked these women if they had been tested and he said it didn't occur to him!
I've been worried about you Sweets...Those Doctors over there better get on the ball!
My love to Niamh and Niall and David.Huge Buig Hugs for you Darlin
xoxoxoxoxo
1 person likes this
@Wiiguy (93)
• United States
1 Oct 07
I know what you've been through. Not a divorce, per se, but breakups are difficult nonetheless. I wasn't exactly in the greatest state of mind three years ago, but I kept on going and I'm still alive. Its all about taking things one step at a time and just trying to live life to the best of your ability, no matter how tough it is. I love you so much, R. If you ever need me, I'm just a chat or a phone call away! Wiiguy
@prettygirl_80650 (306)
• United States
25 Sep 07
ohh my gosh wow if you need a shoulder to cry on im here i know we dont know BUT i had the same problem when i was younger. although i didnt marry the person i still get tested every year for hiv
@sharone74 (4837)
• United States
25 Sep 07
I have to first say KUDOS to you on several different levels. Being proactive, mature, resolute, intelligent, cautious,unforgiving, and especially being protective of yur children while at the same time being DONE with that lying cheating worthless weasel. Keep faith in God, yourself and whatever else inspires faith for your spirit. All will be well and all manner of things will be well. Hold to this mantra. God doesn't make mistakes when the stakes are this high, nor has he carried you cradled in his loving arms all of this way to forsake you now. It is important that you cleave to the Father and not waiver in your devotion, your faith, nor in keeping a positive attitude. And not just on the outside while you're dying inside, but a positively positive attitude through and through. You will make it through this. Stay strong and thank you for having the courage to share such personal and stressful times with us. Those of us who have been through it are honored and humbled that you would share even this with us. YOU GO GIRL, YOU KNOW YOU TOTALLY ROCK RIGHT?
@wolfie34 (26770)
• United Kingdom
25 Sep 07
You have sooooo much confidence my dear friend and I suspect a lot of that was hidden away that you didn't know about. It's weird isn't it when we are faced with major heartaches and catastrophe's in our lives we automatically switch to survival mode and we find hidden confidence. In a strange way this will make you very very stronger and you will come out a different person which is good! I know the road will be long, hard and rocky, but afterwards make sure you reward yourself and go and do something special to treat yourself. I am going to Rhodes as you know for 2 weeks as my treat, admittedly my problem is not as bad as yours but we cope, we survive and knowing that we have lovely friends, support, especially here on Mylot makes us feel even better within ourselves!
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7578)
• Canada
25 Sep 07
You're the one who deserves the big bear hugs. Stay strong for yourself and for the kids. The kids will one day be able to know what an a-- their dad has been. It looks like hell right now but with the attitude you have you'll be just fine. I'd wait to see what the doctor says before I'd get to worried. I am praying for you every day and good for you that you're so much stronger. Trust prayer it does make a huge difference. Take Care. (((BIG HUGS)))
@makingpots (11915)
• United States
25 Sep 07
Keep us updated, raydene. We are all pulling for you. I love that you are taking the high road on all this. Your kids are learning a lot from you as you continue to make them a priority. Stay strong, my friend. (((((HUGS)))))
1 person likes this
