What will u do if your BF is a two-timer?

@claire03 (1443)
United States
September 30, 2007 10:08pm CST
You've been dating for a long time like 5 - 8 years, then jst recently you heard from a friend that your boyfriend is dating somebody else and you wouldn't believe it until you really see it with your own eyes, so what your planning to do is "caught him in the act". You went to this restaurant where the woman and your BF dated, then pronto you've seen him w/ her holding hands and walking inside the room, you are holding your breath and your heart started beating fast and you feel the heat all over your body mainly your head. You want to confront him but instead you keep your cool and hide in a safe place where they can't see you, then went home crying cause all this time you loved and trusted this man but he jst hurted and betrayed you. On a silent night inside your room, you can't sleep because of what you discovered about your BF. You need to do something about it. What will you do since you found out that he is a two-timer? Would you still accept him if he's sorry? why and why not?
7 people like this
42 responses
@meemingNEW (2226)
• Philippines
1 Oct 07
For that span of time (5-8) years, it will definitely send a shock wave right through my spine and like a dagger right through my heart.. I will try to picture myself in the situation.. Well if I ever see it in my own eyes (his lies, infidelity and being a cheater), I will try to relax myself, keep my cool down, deep breathing and then walk straight to them. And since it is obvious that my boyfriend is cheating on me , If I can't hold myself .. I would definitely slap him even in public.. But I won't step to their level. I will just tell him it's over and walk away. If he doesn't want coz its obvious that he has somebody else, then fine.. It may hurt me a lot, probably even makes me cry for several days and every bad feeling in the world. But that doesn't mean that I don't have my own life anymore. I may have lost in a relationship.. but I didn't lose a boyfriend. He lost what could have been "HIS", forever.
1 person likes this
@claire03 (1443)
• United States
1 Oct 07
that's a good answer meemingNEW. i am like that too. well,jst tell yourself "it's his lost not mine". hehehe :) life doesn't end without him it jst gets better at least you've known what kind of person he is! take care and God bless! :)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Oct 07
:_) Yeah, its his loss anyway. Also, if that ever happens to me in real life, I would have been happier if he had done that when we are still in a relationship.. rather than he cheats on me when we're married already. Thanks again claire.
• United States
1 Oct 07
I would have confronted him right then and there. I would have embarrassed him in front of everyone. And no, there is NO way in hell I would stay with him. She can have him. I don't want to be with a liar and a cheater. I don't deserve being with someone like that. There's no point.
1 person likes this
@claire03 (1443)
• United States
1 Oct 07
that's what would i tell myself also. No sense being with a cheater and a person you can never trust :) God bless!
2 people like this
@Lifeless (2636)
• India
3 Oct 07
I wud never go on with a girl who's two timing with me and some other assole... I wud ofcourse go on and listen to what she has to say, but I wud never continue with her, and wud just tell her that our relationship is no more fruitful, and we should quit... I can't share anything with any1.. From the start, I ve been very personal, never did I like sharing anything, except food... So, its more of a usual thing that I wud call off the relationship...
1 person likes this
@sandwedge (1340)
• Malaysia
1 Oct 07
walk. walk away and don't look back.
1 person likes this
@forgenth (72)
• China
1 Oct 07
If I really love him I would give him a chance to explain it.If he can give me a good reason,I would forgive him. Once I recognize that he have no appetite for being together with me.I would go away,for myself.
1 person likes this
@kitty1234 (1476)
• United States
1 Oct 07
First I would have confronted him, I definately would not let it slid! And secondly I would have his stuff waiting for him! There would never be a chance for him to say he was sorry, because he would never see me again. It would be good riddance to trash! Nothing worse to me than a cheater!
@shadowing (309)
• Malaysia
1 Oct 07
5 - 8 years, alright, I will sad for maybe one or two days, after that just forget about it. It is mainly due to this type of person doesn't waste a single tear from me. But of course I will sad as I have invested years on him and maybe as a punishment for myself for trusting and judging the wrong person. That's it. For sure, I will not forgive him no matter what. Some mistakes are just inexcusable.
1 person likes this
@ericajoyce (1746)
• Philippines
1 Oct 07
No, I wouldn't accept him back even if he apologized to me. That situation already happened to me but, I didn't caught him in the act. The first time I found out that he cheated on me, he admitted to me after one week. I was in love with him so I accepted his apology but the 2nd time around when he again cheated on me, he again admitted to me but, I didn't accepted him back. I was so tired being cheated on and it wasn't healthy for me stressing over him.
1 person likes this
@tines2512 (326)
• Philippines
1 Oct 07
if m,y boyfriend is a two timer, Ill just let him choose and let him go . I think tha lifes gonna be.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
1 Oct 07
well what i would do about it to wait patiently till i get to meet the girl face to face..sneak on his phone or whatever their way of communication..try to find out where and when they will meet..soon as i find out, i will pick up the girl where he is gonna pick him up earlier than my bf..i'll tell the girl my bf cant make it up to pick him up so instead ask me to pick her up for him..i wont tell her i am the gf..i'll try to be friendly with her and soon as we get to where they are to meet thats the time i'll ask my bf to introduce me to her..that way i would know if i have to keep the relationship or not..if he choose me over her in front of her then i will but if not then i'll call it off..not my lost its his thats for sure..
@kishusia (1069)
• India
1 Oct 07
Talk to him about it. Listen to what he says and then act accordingly. If he is really two-timing you then he is not your boy friend. Kick him out of your life.
1 person likes this
@weehihi (132)
• Philippines
1 Oct 07
oh that's an easy one..leave him..he's not worth..no explanations needed..or maybe one or two..but really, you dont have to deal with those kinds of people..that's cheating..even if he says he loves you, but his actions told you he's not..so why keep it going?? end it all..
1 person likes this
@cupid74 (11388)
• Pakistan
1 Oct 07
You need to reply it urself first what would u do then ask for the feed back of others
@claire03 (1443)
• United States
1 Oct 07
If it was me, i would forget about him and move on to my life cause it jst don't end right there. I can't live my life with a man who i can't trust, it would hurt me so much since i loved and trusted him and we had a relationship for such a long time but i will jst miserable if i choose to still be with him. He don't deserve my trust and respect. He can do whatever he wants from then on and i'll be happy to b free again and jst consider what i discover as a blessing in disguise cause at least we are not yet married before i found out all about him. i will jst hope that what he do to others won't come back to him :) He doesn't deserve me and i don't deserve someone like him!
@cupid74 (11388)
• Pakistan
2 Oct 07
Dear Claire, Very right u r and u r strong women, but again my question is why stay with B/F for 6-8 yrs, its too long and as friend he has no responsibilties as of marriage. So i better think that if u r in really love for some one then go for marriage after 1 yrs Max. if you are not marrying even 1 yrs it means either one of them is not sincere. If u marry then situation can be differnt and legal rights are involved too What u think
@claire03 (1443)
• United States
2 Oct 07
it would be different then if we're married, that would be a tough situation to be in. but as i've said, i couldn't be with someone i can't trust so i need to make a decision of leaving him :) How about you what will you do?
@milkfish (374)
• Philippines
1 Oct 07
I've been through the same scenario about 6 years ago. What I did is to dump the guy. Why cling in a relationship when there is unfaithfulness already? If he can do it once, what is the assurance that he will not do it again in the future?
@claire03 (1443)
• United States
1 Oct 07
hi milkfish, i'm sorry for what happened to you. But you are right it's hard to give trust again once you know he is unfaithful. i won't want a man who i can't trust either, the relationship will jst fail if there's no trust at all.
@milkfish (374)
• Philippines
2 Oct 07
thanks claire. sometimes we need to make hard decisions in life. its choosing between your unfaithful man and the respect you have for your self.
@claire03 (1443)
• United States
2 Oct 07
i definitely agree to that milkfish. i'm glad you already overcome that part of your life and you already moved on. God bless you and take care :)
• Philippines
3 Oct 07
Hello Claire, That would exactly too painful to bear. But i would definitely not give him another chance to hurt me again. Once is already enough. I admit it thinking of those years we've been together somehow gives me second thought. But how can I get the assurance that if i will accept his apology and accept him in my life again he will not do it to me again. He did it already to me once. For sure he can't do it again. Call me coward. But that is me, I am not willing to risk another time of my life and get hurt again so as much as possible from this moment i will deprived myself from hurting again. Life offers me so many heartaches already. So another hurting would affect myself esteem. That is why as early as this stage I'll compose myself again. Love myself so that other's will love me as well, coz im worth loving.
@claire03 (1443)
• United States
3 Oct 07
i totally understand that sheenmadness, anyone who gets hurt by someone they love don't wanna risk themself to get hurt again, knowing there's no assurance that he won't do it again. your decision is what most of the women will do. you are not a coward but you are jst protecting yourself from further hurts and heartaches. thanks for sharing your thoughts. Godbless! :)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Oct 07
Your always welcome Claire. ^_^
@kwenge (2489)
• Kenya
2 Oct 07
I will run to his house, plant a grenade on his bed and cover it with bedsheets, write a strong note detailing whatever I saw him doing with the other woman then leave. If he runs to my house without even changing the underpant he was wearing, without even sitting down, just to confess and ask for permision, good for him. If he reads the note and assume he will lie to me tommorow and go sleep........we meet in hell.....booooooooooom he sleeps on the grenade and he is blasted! gone forever.
@claire03 (1443)
• United States
2 Oct 07
wow, your partner should be really scared of you kwenge cause you sound deadly. hehehe jst teasing. anyway you want to do it, it's your choice at least he will realize how wrong he was for cheating on you. what i can say is "good for him" .. hehehe...
@kwenge (2489)
• Kenya
3 Oct 07
I thank God that my fiancee is not and has never been a two-timer. Because i would just run like i have seen a ghost if i smell a rat. No man is worth my love if he can afford to cheat on me.
• United States
2 Oct 07
Well..how come? when a girl is playing two timer as well? Well, girls is as bad as men. We don't have to blame it all to the men.
@claire03 (1443)
• United States
2 Oct 07
it doesn't mean that men are bad blog8withJ. this is just a situational problem that already happened to some of the women. i believe not all men can do this cause i am married with a very faithful man and he loves me a lot. you are right, some women can do this also to men and vice versa. you can jst answer if it was you who was cheated or two timed by your partner, what will you do?
@claire03 (1443)
• United States
2 Oct 07
i want to correct something. " i am married TO a faithful man not "with". sorry about that clerical error. i type fast and i didn't review it b4 i post. have a nice day.
• Malaysia
1 Oct 07
First of all, I am sorry for what happened to you. But I hope you won't feel so sad about what he had done to you. This man is utterly unimportant to you now, you have to tell yourself about this many, many times in your head. I understand that you have a very long relationship with this useless man and I understand you love him so very much and never ever thought of betraying him. Suddenly he is doing that to you. He is so cruel! Don't let him come into your life ever again, my friend. Just toss him away, dump him and forget about him. Never think twice to accept him again, even if he said sorry. Remember, if he can betray you once, he can do it again and again and again.
@claire03 (1443)
• United States
1 Oct 07
hello ladysurvivor, it didn't happen to me, it's jst situational. i'm asking what will you do if this will happen to you. Betraying somebody's trust is not just right and i we can still trust the guy after what he did cause as you've said he can do it over and over again. Godbless!
@maeras (115)
• United Arab Emirates
8 May 09
A relationship should be based on trust, love and loyalty...no matter how long you have been together. I think it is important to maintain trust. Once that one is breach, more problems will come..insecurity, anger and animosity. The other partner has to choose. I myself is not willing to share:). If my partner loves someone else, it means that he doesn't love me the way that I want to be loved. It's difficult for me to regain a broken trust.
@yonkie (440)
• Philippines
7 May 09
I will quarrel him and set him free. I will not be afraid to hit him on the face. I don't deserve to be cheated. I am always loyal to my partner. So if he will ruin our relationship, I will take revenge. I will make his life miserable.